Wednesday, February 03, 2021

Where did January go??

One month in to 2021 already... whoa!!  Where does the time go?!

January was a whirlwind.  I normally find it long (which I don't mind, because it's a slower pace time of year, cozy time, getting to enjoy my hobbies) but this year it seemed to fly.  A quick re-cap, shall we?

I took Christmas down the end of the first week, and got my house back to "normal", sad as it makes me.  I also endeavoured to clean out the basement of the house, a long overdue job.  When we moved in 12 (I think?) years ago, there was already a bunch of old junk down there from past occupants.  Then we added new junk to the pile, and I have continued to do so for 12 years.  It was a bit of a mess.  So over the holidays and into the first few weeks of January, I lugged out all kinds of crap.  There is still some heavy stuff down there that I couldn't move on my own (old furniture) but I made great headway in cleaning it up.  I also got a new shelving unit to keep things a little more organized. 

One of my main reasons for cleaning out the basement was to find a place for the HUGE amount of wine I won!  I took part in a Wine Lottery that my cousin and his wife ran for the month of December, and on Christmas Eve they drew the final names, and I WON!!! 56 bottles of wine, to be precise!!!  I let them keep a few bottles as a thank you for running the lottery, and gave a couple away over the holidays, as well as enjoying a few, but I still believe I have about 50 bottles.  Another cousin dropped off a wine rack he was no longer using, so I got them all loaded into it and organized.  I am definitely ready for when these lockdowns end and we can gather again! lol!!

Things were also busy at work, believe it or not. Yes, this is our quieter time of year, and I only work part-time in the winter, but they also were in the process of renovating the office, so it made things a little more lively for January.  The office got a new paint job before the holidays, and then new office furniture arrived a few weeks ago.  In between, we had to clear out cabinets, clear out desks, and get everything removed.  It was a big job!!  Thankfully, everything is almost back in order and I am settling into my new office digs quite well.

I had a big "secret" to reveal in January that I was extremely excited about, but the whole thing kind of backfired.  Early last fall, I made the decision - after months of thinking it over - to get a puppy.  I know a reputable breeder from our area that many friends/family members have dealt with who has mini golden doodles, and I had her put me on the list.  The puppies were born in late November, and I went to pick one out in early December.  I was SO excited.  Like, can't even describe it.  I felt like this was my one shot to "have a baby", so to speak (crazy as that might sound).  I tried to keep it a secret so that I would be able to surprise my friends and family when I picked her up in January.  I spent the weeks after Christmas getting organized and prepared for the puppy, researching, buying supplies, watching training videos, the whole nine yards.

On Friday January 22nd, I picked her up, and I was elated.  She was so cute.  I named her Maisie, and I couldn't wait to get her home and settled and begin my life as a "Fur Mama".  However, something shifted very early on.  I don't know how to describe it, but I just had this deep-in-my-gut feeling that I had made a mistake.  The feeling of unease grew and overtook me until I was in a tailspin.  I know part of it was from being tired (night time puppy was not easy, dudes) - but it was more than that.  I just knew in my heart I was not meant to have her.

So 48 hours later, while spinning out of control worrying and regretting and not knowing what to do, I found out my sister and her family had been considering getting a puppy, and they were willing to take her.  They came on the Sunday evening to collect all of her stuff and take her home.  It brought to a close an extremely stressful weekend, and I felt absolutely drained.  I basically slept for 24 hours straight.  And I felt blue for a few days, because it was almost like grieving a loss.  I had been so so SO excited to get her, and it all came crashing down so fast.  The excitement was over almost as quickly as it had started.  There is a lot of shame and guilt that comes with the decision as well.  People tell me I didn't give it enough time, and I worry that people think I didn't put enough thought into it.  I promise you, I did.  I just never in a million years thought I would feel the way I did for those 2 days that I had her.  

I don't regret sending her to live with my sister and her family.  She is still in the family, we will all still get to see her, and they are really enjoying her.  The kids are old enough to be a good help too, which is great, because puppies are no joke.  They keep you BUSY.  But Maisie is a really good pup and I know they are going to love her for many years to come.  And I get to be her auntie.  Seems it's the role I was meant to have...

Other than the puppy fiasco, life has been pretty quiet.  Our province is under a curfew, so we have to be in our homes from 8PM - 5AM. Not hard to do this time of year.  I received a "100 Movie Bucket List" poster for Christmas, so it's a perfect time to be scratching off some movies.  I have quite a few orders for pocket shawls, so crocheting is keeping me busy as well.  I've started getting out for a walk once a day again (much needed), and I've been out skating and snowshoeing a few times too, getting my winter fix in.  And I also have spent a lot of time trying out new recipes in my Instant Pot Duo Crisp.

All in all, life is good.  I still pray for this pandemic to end so that life can get back to "normal" soon, but I don't think we'll be seeing that until summer or fall. Until then, I'll be doing my best to keep my chin up and hoping that you all are too!

No comments: