OK. So. We all know I’m obsessed right now. With Prison Break, and Wentworth Miller, and a whole bunch of ex-cons.
No one knows this better than my friend Lindsay, who is partly to blame for all of this - for encouraging me to watch the show in the first place, and who now has to listen to me ramble on and on each morning about how much I love Michael and Lincoln and Tweener and Sucre, and maybe even T-bag a little bit…
I talk about Michael Scofield, like, a lot. My friends and family are probably a little sick of it by now. So are all of you, I’m sure.
It was during a text conversation with my friend Sharon on Friday evening about Prison Break that I found out she’s also a fan of Wentworth Miller’s. She even went so far as to suggest that perhaps he’s even more attractive than Channing Tatum.
This gave me pause. I had to stop and think for a moment. I mean, Channing Tatum is my boyfriend. And I’ve been cheating on him for weeks with Wentworth Miller. And it has been a fabulous affair, but really, am I being fair to my Channing??
I really had to think this through. List the pros and cons for both.
So I presented myself with this entirely beautiful and perfect situation: Both Channing Tatum and Wentworth Miller are standing at my doorstep, asking me to marry them. I mean, they’re frigging fighting over me. And I have to choose.
Who do I pick?!?
Let’s weigh the pros and cons. Just for fun.
- He’s so damned hot. Like, Sexiest Man Alive kind of hot.
- The smirk. God, I love the smirk.
- His chuckle.
- Brother can dance.
- He’s in the right age bracket for me. (Age 32)
- He’s in about 100 movies, so anytime I need a Channing fix, he’s available in many different makes, shapes, and forms. ie – Romantic sweetheart, young rebellious dancer, Magic Mike…
- He’s married and is expecting a baby with his wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum. (which is actually pretty awesome, but it means he can’t marry me in real life.)
- He’s a former stripper, which is kinda grody.
…And now for…
- He’s so damned hot. So so so so SO damned hot.
- He’s at his hottest when he’s wearing aviators. I die.
- He’s SMART. He’s a Princeton graduate, and also a writer. And you can just hear the intelligence oozing from him, both on the show, and in real-life interviews.
- He’s a “third”. As in, Wentworth Earl Miller III. AND he’s kind of British. Which I find downright sexy.
- He has many different nationalities and races mixed in him, but one of the main ones is Jamaican. Which I also find downright sexy.
- He has the best smile in the history of the world.
- I love love love his brooding stare.
- There are gay rumors. Which would totally ruin it all. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, as far as I’m concerned, but it would just dash all the sex appeal for me if he really is. However, from my Internet research, it would appear Wentworth denies the rumors. Phewf.
- He’s kind of too old for me. (He’s 40!?!? WTF!??! I know, I know…the episodes I’m watching him in right now, he’s like 34 or 35. This is why 40 seems outrageous to me.)
- I’ve also read that Wentworth gets fat in Season 4?!?! Can someone please disprove this for me?? It’s impossible, right?!?
- Aside from Prison Break, he has very little out there that is readily available for me to watch. Since Prison Break ended in 2009, he’s been writing more, which I think is awesome – except that he’s out of the spotlight. I feel like I’m totally late arriving to the Wentworth Miller party, and I missed out on it during it’s prime. :(
So there we have it. The pros and cons. Both very worthy opponents. Both very handsome, delicious men.
But I think we all know who’s going to win here today, for me….
I mean, it’s almost not a fair fight. I’m totally in Wentworth Miller lockdown right now, and Channing never really stood a chance, did he?
I know. The Sexiest Man Alive, and he didn’t stand a chance. What is this world coming to.
So? How about you? Who wins in the Channing vs. Wentworth Showdown?? Channing, because he’s more current? Or are you a Prison Break fan and Wentworth wins hands-down, even if he is maybe a little bit 5 years ago?
Also, suggestions are welcome for the next Celebrity Head-to-Head. This is a game I could get used to… ;)