Thursday, August 18, 2011

A Fish Tale. AND I WON AN AWARD!!!

Okay.  I confess that I’m a little nervous about sharing with you my latest tale of fishy woe.  Because the last time I talked about my fish, I got HATE MAIL.

That chick was mean.  Her words stung.  Hurt my feelings.

And then I shook my head and reminded myself these are fish we’re talking about.  Sure, lovely little creatures that swim around and are peaceful to watch.  But, at the end of the day, still just fish.  They have memory spans of about two seconds. and die when you look at ‘em sideways.  People flush them down toilets everyday.

So I’m telling my story, even if it does leave me open to more hate mail.

Bring it on, b*tch.

Anyway.  Moving right along.

As I shared with my Facebook friends yesterday, I have raised my fish to be tough mother-effers.  Gangsta fish.  Ghetto fish.  Marley and Jackson have lived through a lot.  Days when I let the tank get so dirty that you can’t even see them swimming around.  Green, slimey days of wondering what the outside world looks like.  I’ve tested their will to live, and they have survived.

But the other night, I pushed them to their limits.

It had been awhile since my tank had been given a real good, thorough cleaning, and after the pump stopped (from being too dirty, I figure), I decided enough was enough.  I had to clean it.

I began by scooping some of the old water out into a pail, then netting the fish and putting them in there.  I left them on my kitchen table and went about the gross job of completely emptying the tank of all the water, slime, rocks, and fake plant decorations.  Then I set about scrubbing the walls of the tank, the pump, and all the other fish-tank-parts that I don’t even know about.

While at the sink  working away, I kept hearing the odd “bloop” sound.  Every time, I’d check the pail and see the fishies still swimming away.  No worries.

But then I heard a BIG bloop, and then a repeated “whap-whap-whap” noise, and I knew without even looking that Marley had escaped the pail.

I checked, and sure enough, there the damn fish was, doing the funky chicken on the table, and then it slipped right off onto the floor.  It thrashed around some more while I shrieked and screamed and tried to figure out how the hell I was going to catch it.  Suddenly, it became very still, and I was sure my Marley was a goner.  I grabbed the big cup I’d been using to scoop water with, and gently eased him into it.  As soon as I did, he sprung to life again, and I squealed and dumped him back in the pail, fully expecting him to float to the surface immediately.

He didn’t.  He kept swimming.  Hallelujah.


I began working quickly, afraid he might try this trick again.  I re-assembled the tank with a new filter and the new tank accessories I bought them, then began pouring fresh water in.  As soon as it was up high enough, I tossed the fish back into the tank, and let them get acquainted with their new surroundings.

Still, I feared for Marley’s life.  Well, as much as you can fear for a fish’s life.  Not only had he flopped around out of water for a good three or four minutes, but I had also completely altered his environment.  Clean tank, fresh water, different tank stuff.  I worried it would be too much of a shock to his poor little fishy system.

I should know better than to underestimate my fish.  They are determined.  They do not die when you look at them sideways.  They are TOUGH.  Proud of them.

I know.  I’m the girl who laments daily that I want babies.  But I swear, I’ll take better care of my children someday.  Promise.

So my fish survived, I have 55 followers now and I’m getting ready for my first giveaway, and you know what else makes this a great week?  I WON AN AWARD!!

My very first bloggy award!!  The Versatile Blogger Award!!

versatile blogger

I’ve seen this jazzy green button on other people’s blogs and yearned for it.  Pined for it.  Wondered why nobody, in the past five years, had bothered to award ME with it.  I’m a Versatile Blogger, right?  I deserve a damn AWARD!!

Enter, my new blog friend, Kristine.  She’s originally from a town just across the river from my town, and through the magic of the interwebs, we have “met” and now read each other’s blogs.  She told me my recent tour of my town post made her homesick, as she once spent many great times at our local bar, Gavan’s.  Go visit her at Kristine’s Place!  Thank you so much, Kristine, for passing The Versatile Blogger award on to me!  Made my day!!

So there are RULES with the Versatile Blogger award.

1. Thank the person who gave the award and link back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs.

So here are 7 things about me:

  • I’ve had my ears pierced since I was 4, but only recently have started wearing earrings every day.  And now I’m kind of obsessed with earrings.  Even contemplating getting a second hole pierced so I can wear more than one pair at a time.  Send me links to your favourite Etsy jewelry shops.  I can’t get enough.
  • I can’t watch scary stuff before bed or I psych myself right up into believing there are intruders in my house.  Lately, with my new addiction to True Blood, it’s vampires.  All over my house.  I have to run up the stairs to my room and literally leap from the doorway into my bed.
  • I crave movie theatre popcorn, daily.  I would go to the movies every day if I could afford it, and if I could find friends to come with me.
  • I hate being wakened by an alarm clock.  I wish I could just go in to work whenever I wake up naturally.  I think I’d be a more pleasant person if that’s how the world worked.
  • I didn’t have any allergies when I was a kid, but as an adult, I’ve discovered I can’t hack cat hair or whatever is in the air in the spring and summer months that makes my eyes swell up and my nose clog.
  • I have an imaginary boyfriend.  His name is Dexter.  Waiters give me funny looks in restaurants when I’m out with friends and they ask how to split up the bills, and I point at nothing and say, “I’m with him.  Yes, I know.  He’s invisible.”
  • I love Wade Redden, Grey’s Anatomy, spaghetti, Elvis, my family, the Ottawa Senators, banana-flavoured popsicles, taking pictures, Edward Cullen, pool noodles, the Quyon Flyers, my friends, Friends, McDonalds, Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, my guitar, Friday, and Christmas Eve.  Not necessarily in that order.

And now, to conclude this long-ass post, here are 15 blogs that I would like to pass The Versatile Blogger Award on to!  Please visit any or all of these links - all wonderful blogs, wonderful people…and of course, very versatile. :)

Have a great day, everyone.  LONG LIVE MY FISH!!!


Janette @ The Johanson Journey said...

You are so funny!! Thank you for the award by the way!! So sweet.
How can someone be so mean and leave you comments about fish. Ridiculous.
I bought a fish for my son, put it in a small tank and put a small bowl next to it for some reason and came home and found he jumped out and was in the smaller bowl. Weird. put him back and came home the next day and he was gone. Not in the little bowl, not in his bowl, the freak took off and went hitchhiking or something. Not under the couch, NO WHERE!! Never had a run away fish before.

Nay said...

How darn awesome are *YOU*!!! Thanks for the award, lovey:)

And can I tell you:

I was laughing my a$$ off with this post - fish gotta love them...and your imaginary boyfriend!! I am forwarding this post to my BFF - she'll love it!


Lindsay said...

I am SO calling Fish's Aid on you! Ha ha! I'm still amazed that Marley can flop right out of the bucket like that! He's super strong! Thank you for the award! xo

Nicole said...

hahahaha I love it. I'd have been shrieking too if the fish had fallen out... but I really don't like fish so.... I think it's b/c they can't stand still or swim still, whatever :)

Anonymous said...

The fish story made me laugh, the comment from that reader though, not so much. How rude! Glad the fishies are okay though :) I hear ya on the allergies situation - never in my life have I ever been allergic to anything and then I hit the age of 21 and I was finished. I'm allergic to everything lately, including strawberries :(

Robin said...

Let me finish my sewing project and I'll sit down and play along.

thank you so much for thinking of me. I really need a pick me up right now.

Mind Of Mine said...

I am so jealous! I want an award!

''I want the world, I want the whole world...''

Hilarious post!

Leslie Lavigne said...

Thanks for the award! In college I worked at a pet store, you don't even want to know what we did with fish who weren't tough enough. Kudos to you for raising yours right, tough love, baby! :)

Nay said...

Wanted to come by and say Congrats to all the Versatile Blogger Award Winner from Jill:) To celebrate, I'm now following all of the blogs you awarded!

Steph said...

I miss having fish. However, I do not miss cleaning the tank. Glad to hear the little fellars are doing ok.

I'm somewhat bummed I never found your blog sooner. You're a funny gal. I'll have to nose around here someday when I have more time.

Kara said...

I think I know your status in our family now - comedian.
Goldenchild..comedian..superstar - sounds like we have all bases covered. And, comedian sounds better than middle child. Happy Friday!

Anonymous said...

OMG I am so glad you posted the fish story. If you get hate mail just set the ghetto fish on them. They will show that beeotch what's what.

Stephy said...

You crack me up. Great story about the fish! Hows Marley doing??!!

Thanks for the award! So fun =)

Meagan said...

Dont worry about the Vampires, they can't come in without and invite :)

Beth W said...

Yay! Thanks so much for the award!

On the fish should totally be proud of your fish-mother skills. I SLAVED over a half dozen beta fish (one at a time) during my early college years, and every single one of them died. Quickly. Fish hate me, clean tank or no.
So good job! Your tough fish are going to conquer the world someday. :)

Kristine said...

I love banana popsicles. I can't find them anywhere around here. I can see a trip to hamilton in my near future. I'm on a popsicle quest....