Thursday, March 25, 2010

Too Much for this Colby Fan to Take

I'm a Colby fan. Anyone who has read this Blog in the past knows this. Die-hard. Tried and true.

But last night, Colby disappointed me. In what I figured to be his Heroes vs. Villains swan song, it looked like Colby had already packed it in. No fight and fire. No glorious speeches about how he can still be the best of the best and carry his team on his back. Nothing.

With Tom gone, Colby was on his own on a tribe of Heroes who have proven to be more a bunch of losers than anything. I had high hopes that now that he was down to the bottom of the barrel, we'd see Colby come out swinging like never before and show them what it really means to be a Hero.
And he had every opportunity to. The challenge was for both Reward & Immunity. In a twist, it was individual as well. Each tribe competed separately, against their own teammates, to see who would be safe from the vote at Tribal Council, as Probst announced that both tribes would be voting someone out. The two winners of Immunity would then go head-to-head to see who would win their tribe a hot dog feast, as well as an opportunity to listen in on the other tribe's TC.

The challenge had them each attached to a rope maze, in which they would have to toss themselves up and over fences and barricades to untangle themselves. A quick calculation in my head had me figuring Colby was the favourite to win for the Heroes. James is gimpy. Rupert is not exactly slender. JT is kinda lumpy. And while I figured the girls would have more agility, I didn't figure they'd have the speed or strength to get themselves through the maze as well as Colby could.

Big-time let-down. Not only did Colby lose. He lost bad. By the time Candice had won, Colby was still tangled up in the middle of the rope maze. He was last - even beind James on one leg, and flabby Rupert.

Boston Rob took it for the Villains, and then he also defeated Candice in the showdown for hot dogs and a sit-in on the Heroes' Tribal Council. Thank God for Rob, even though he is a Villain. At least he's entertaining me.

Rob and Russell finally got to get down to business, as they fought for power within their tribe to decide who would be going home. Rob had the numbers, but somehow, the weasly little Russell was able to outwit him. I thought Rob had the perfect plan worked out. Split their votes between Russell and Parvati, so that if Russell played his Hidden Immunity Idol (which they all assumed he had), Parvati would go home, instead of Tyson, who Russell's alliance would be voting for.

What a crazy Tribal Council. Russell finally produced his Idol, but rather than using it himself, he passed it to Parvati. Glee shone in Rob's eyes. What a stupid move, right?

Wrong. Russell had convinced Tyson to vote for Parvati instead of him, so rather than a split vote, Parvati had 4 votes cast against her that did not count. Russell ended up with only two votes against him, and Tyson had three. I didn't even like Tyson, but I completely hated that Russell was able to outsmart Rob! The look of total confusion and bewilderment reflected in Rob's eyes when he saw the 4th vote for Parvati come up...when he realized he didn't quite have the workings of the tribe in the palm of his hand...It was a big moment. And the battle between the two of them will only be heating up more next week. Rob won't be going down without a fight, I can guarantee that! And he's really not going to be happy that Russell outplayed him. It could get pretty interesting!

Meanwhile, the Heroes were weighing their options. Colby or James? James made a good case, even if I didn't like it. Colby just hasn't been in the game. Which is such a piss-off for me. He's generally been disappointing at challenges, and game-wise, he seems to be a shadow of what he used to be. Has the game of Survivor really changed that much since he owned it in the Outback? Is he really that out-classed by the rest of them? What happened to the Colby that threw his entire tribe on his back in Season 2 and carried them to victory, and then bolstered himself, winning individual Immunities left, right, and centre?

Colby didn't help his case much by basically throwing in the towel. He gave them the ol', "Hey guys, it's been a slice, I know I'm going home, let's all just relax." Then he went and floated in the water all day.

But despite Colby's lacklustre attitude, the rest of the Heroes were finally questioning James' bum leg. If the challenges to come were physical at all, would James be able to compete? They also had noticed James was eating more than anyone else, and that he was depleting their banana stock. (Thus, we now have the famous "Banana Etiquette.")

James wanted to prove he could still run, so he set up the Hero Olympics on the beach, with JT volunteering to race him. (This is when I really wanted Colby to jump up and say, "Hell, I'll race you too", and then blow 'em both away. But he was still floating in the water, paying no attention at all...arghhh!) So James and JT raced. If you could call it that. James practically had to hop on one leg, and JT ran backwards, and still beat him.

Even so, it didn't appear that the Heroes were overly-concerned. And who could blame them. Colby had all but given up. I was certain he was the one going home. It made me sad to think that a guy with a wonky knee was going to outlast the perfectly-fit Colby.

As the Villains sat chowing down on their hot dogs, Probst ran one of the most entertaining Tribal Councils ever, which led to a lot of laughter by both the Villains and the Heroes, even though Colby seemed to be at the butt of the jokes. James talked about watching Colby and idolizing him in Season 2. He said to see him now, it was like finding out Superman was wearing a fat suit. Again, Colby disappointed me. He didn't fight back. He shrugged, looked resigned, almost tired and old. His only jab at James was when, after James made it sound like he was an ancient, decrepit warlord from eons ago, Colby finally said, "Hey, I'm not that old."

And that's the thing. Colby's not old! He's still fit and muscular and powerful! Why haven't we seen it? I just don't get it!

I was all ready to say good-bye. And just like that, they surprise me by voting out James instead, unanimously.

Go figure. Colby survives, yet again. I really, really hope he gets a boost of energy from this. I don't think I can take watching this mopey, dopey Colby much longer!!

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