Monday, October 01, 2012

Sadie’s dead. (Promise.)

Soooo…

Remember last week, when I said that my friend told me he doesn’t like Sadie?

Well, I’m willing to bet a lot of other people really don’t like her now, too.

Lynn & Steve’s wedding?  Ummm… for me, it was kind of a disasterpiece.  Of epic proportions.

As I am slowly (very slowly) learning, I should never, ever give Sadie a “free pass”.  If she shows up out of the blue, she can really be a good time, I swear.  But when I purposely leave the door open for her?  It means craziness.  Times a billion.

In fact, I’m not even sure that thing that appeared on Saturday night was even Sadie.  It was like her evil, nasty, gross twin.  And when your drunken alter-ego has an evil twin, you know you’ve got trouble, mister.

Seriously.  My mom was ready to sign me up for AA yesterday.  When I told her I’d lost my camera, broke my watch, and was in possession of a suit jacket that I thought might have been my cousin Bucky’s, but I wasn’t really sure… she was kind of not even a little bit impressed.  (I didn’t even tell her that I lost my earrings, too.)

I tried telling her I wasn’t the only one.  A quick scan of my Facebook newsfeed yesterday indicated many people were feeling the effects of a legendary party, and were also searching for lost belongings.  Sounds like I wasn’t the only one who had wayyyy too much fun.

Granted, she was already a little ticked at me because she was present when I tackled Sens GM Bryan Murray at the reception after she strictly forbid me to.

Me: “Hey… Is that Bryan Murray over there?”

Mom: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind!  I’ve been waiting years to tell him how mad I am over him letting Wade Redden go!!”

Mom:  “NO YOU ARE NOT.”

do dee doo doo dooo….

Me:  “Hi, Mr. Murray.  That’s my mom over there, and she told me I’m not allowed to talk to you.  But I just have to tell you how mad I am at you for not paying Wade Redden $6.75 Million dollars a year to keep him in Ottawa!!!”

*cue Mother trying to smile politely (apologetically?) at Mr. Murray while also trying to give me the death glare…*

(Bryan was very nice, and while I pretty much had to twist his arm to eventually get him to say “Wade was a good boy”, I do believe my mother was mortified that she had to admit to him that I am her kid.  She says when someone like that is out at a party, they don’t want to talk about business.  I say when the GM of the Ottawa Senators is out in his hometown, he expects to be approached.  Right?  RIGHT??)

The good news is… I think Bryan Murray was the only man I harassed all night long.  Usually when I drink that much, I tend to chase boys, and they tend to run.  I don’t actually remember doing that this time.  (I hope I’m remembering this correctly.)

Anyways…Did I make it on the bus home?  Yes, I did.  I don’t remember getting on the bus, but I know it dropped me off, so I got on there somehow.

Did I make it to church for Tanner’s baptism?  Yes.  Yes I did.  So I must get points for that, too, right? 

(Did I also leave church right after the baptism?  Umm.  Yeah.  Sorta.  But I had to put my dip for the luncheon in the oven.  And while I waited for it to heat, I may have had a little lie-down on the couch.  I realize that’s terrible, but I live next door to the church.  Anybody else would’ve done the same thing, right?)

OK.  I know.  I’m much too old to be acting like this.  I definitely realize that.  I’m not proud of it.  And I'm never letting Sadie – OR her evil twin – out ever again.  She’s officially dead.  I promise.

Thank you to Bucky for the jacket, which kept me warm while I slept outside at a picnic table.

Thank you to Lynn for finding my camera – for those of you expecting pictures, I'm sorry, you’ll have to wait until I get it back…

Thank you to people who brought me water bottles and made sure I was still breathing.

Thank you to whoever made sure I got on that bus.

But most of all?   Thank you to the Newlyweds… 

Lynn & Steve, you guys threw one of the best parties I’ve ever been to (even though I can’t remember most of it.)  I can’t think of two people who deserve a better celebration than the one we had in honour of you.  Your day was beautiful, and you both looked amazing.  Together, you make the perfect ‘team’!

I wish you both many years of happiness, laughter, and love…

Lynn & Steve

…CONGRATULATIONS!!!

7 comments:

Nicole said...

awe, that's such a great photo, why couldn't I have had that good of a photog at my wedding!

VandyJ said...

There's always that party where you realize that drinking that much really isn't fun any more. Sadly it coincides with growing up.

Mind Of Mine said...

It might be the positive spin you are putting on it but it actually sounds like you had some drunken fun hi-jinx.

Sheena said...

Hahaha I love hearing when people go after Uncle Bryan... lol...cuz he's just Uncle Bryan. Congrats to Steve and Lynn.

Nadine Hightower said...

if we ever make in on the same cruise ship or vacay resort... me and sadie will have a grand ole time!!

Steph said...

Oh my goodness! You make me smile!

I was also drunker than a skunk on Saturday night. Aubri slept in my parent's camper while I proceeded to get shit hammered, fall down, and make an ass of myself.

I'll never drink Vodka again. And for the record, I still feel like shit today. I need a night to lay around and then maybe I'll feel better.

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