Remember last week, when I said that my friend told me he doesn’t like Sadie?
Well, I’m willing to bet a lot of other people really don’t like her now, too.
Lynn & Steve’s wedding? Ummm… for me, it was kind of a disasterpiece. Of epic proportions.
As I am slowly (very slowly) learning, I should never, ever give Sadie a “free pass”. If she shows up out of the blue, she can really be a good time, I swear. But when I purposely leave the door open for her? It means craziness. Times a billion.
In fact, I’m not even sure that thing that appeared on Saturday night was even Sadie. It was like her evil, nasty, gross twin. And when your drunken alter-ego has an evil twin, you know you’ve got trouble, mister.
Seriously. My mom was ready to sign me up for AA yesterday. When I told her I’d lost my camera, broke my watch, and was in possession of a suit jacket that I thought might have been my cousin Bucky’s, but I wasn’t really sure… she was kind of not even a little bit impressed. (I didn’t even tell her that I lost my earrings, too.)
I tried telling her I wasn’t the only one. A quick scan of my Facebook newsfeed yesterday indicated many people were feeling the effects of a legendary party, and were also searching for lost belongings. Sounds like I wasn’t the only one who had wayyyy too much fun.
Granted, she was already a little ticked at me because she was present when I tackled Sens GM Bryan Murray at the reception after she strictly forbid me to.
Me: “Hey… Is that Bryan Murray over there?”
Mom: “Yes, it is.”
Me: “I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind! I’ve been waiting years to tell him how mad I am over him letting Wade Redden go!!”
Mom: “NO YOU ARE NOT.”
do dee doo doo dooo….
Me: “Hi, Mr. Murray. That’s my mom over there, and she told me I’m not allowed to talk to you. But I just have to tell you how mad I am at you for not paying Wade Redden $6.75 Million dollars a year to keep him in Ottawa!!!”
*cue Mother trying to smile politely (apologetically?) at Mr. Murray while also trying to give me the death glare…*
(Bryan was very nice, and while I pretty much had to twist his arm to eventually get him to say “Wade was a good boy”, I do believe my mother was mortified that she had to admit to him that I am her kid. She says when someone like that is out at a party, they don’t want to talk about business. I say when the GM of the Ottawa Senators is out in his hometown, he expects to be approached. Right? RIGHT??)
The good news is… I think Bryan Murray was the only man I harassed all night long. Usually when I drink that much, I tend to chase boys, and they tend to run. I don’t actually remember doing that this time. (I hope I’m remembering this correctly.)
Anyways…Did I make it on the bus home? Yes, I did. I don’t remember getting on the bus, but I know it dropped me off, so I got on there somehow.
Did I make it to church for Tanner’s baptism? Yes. Yes I did. So I must get points for that, too, right?
(Did I also leave church right after the baptism? Umm. Yeah. Sorta. But I had to put my dip for the luncheon in the oven. And while I waited for it to heat, I may have had a little lie-down on the couch. I realize that’s terrible, but I live next door to the church. Anybody else would’ve done the same thing, right?)
OK. I know. I’m much too old to be acting like this. I definitely realize that. I’m not proud of it. And I'm never letting Sadie – OR her evil twin – out ever again. She’s officially dead. I promise.
Thank you to Bucky for the jacket, which kept me warm while I slept outside at a picnic table.
Thank you to Lynn for finding my camera – for those of you expecting pictures, I'm sorry, you’ll have to wait until I get it back…
Thank you to people who brought me water bottles and made sure I was still breathing.
Thank you to whoever made sure I got on that bus.
But most of all? Thank you to the Newlyweds…
Lynn & Steve, you guys threw one of the best parties I’ve ever been to (even though I can’t remember most of it.) I can’t think of two people who deserve a better celebration than the one we had in honour of you. Your day was beautiful, and you both looked amazing. Together, you make the perfect ‘team’!
I wish you both many years of happiness, laughter, and love…