Sadie’s dead. (Promise.)

Soooo…

Remember last week, when I said that my friend told me he doesn’t like Sadie?

Well, I’m willing to bet a lot of other people really don’t like her now, too.

Lynn & Steve’s wedding?  Ummm… for me, it was kind of a disasterpiece.  Of epic proportions.

As I am slowly (very slowly) learning, I should never, ever give Sadie a “free pass”.  If she shows up out of the blue, she can really be a good time, I swear.  But when I purposely leave the door open for her?  It means craziness.  Times a billion.

In fact, I’m not even sure that thing that appeared on Saturday night was even Sadie.  It was like her evil, nasty, gross twin.  And when your drunken alter-ego has an evil twin, you know you’ve got trouble, mister.

Seriously.  My mom was ready to sign me up for AA yesterday.  When I told her I’d lost my camera, broke my watch, and was in possession of a suit jacket that I thought might have been my cousin Bucky’s, but I wasn’t really sure… she was kind of not even a little bit impressed.  (I didn’t even tell her that I lost my earrings, too.)

I tried telling her I wasn’t the only one.  A quick scan of my Facebook newsfeed yesterday indicated many people were feeling the effects of a legendary party, and were also searching for lost belongings.  Sounds like I wasn’t the only one who had wayyyy too much fun.

Granted, she was already a little ticked at me because she was present when I tackled Sens GM Bryan Murray at the reception after she strictly forbid me to.

Me: “Hey… Is that Bryan Murray over there?”

Mom: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind!  I’ve been waiting years to tell him how mad I am over him letting Wade Redden go!!”

Mom:  “NO YOU ARE NOT.”

do dee doo doo dooo….

Me:  “Hi, Mr. Murray.  That’s my mom over there, and she told me I’m not allowed to talk to you.  But I just have to tell you how mad I am at you for not paying Wade Redden $6.75 Million dollars a year to keep him in Ottawa!!!”

*cue Mother trying to smile politely (apologetically?) at Mr. Murray while also trying to give me the death glare…*

(Bryan was very nice, and while I pretty much had to twist his arm to eventually get him to say “Wade was a good boy”, I do believe my mother was mortified that she had to admit to him that I am her kid.  She says when someone like that is out at a party, they don’t want to talk about business.  I say when the GM of the Ottawa Senators is out in his hometown, he expects to be approached.  Right?  RIGHT??)

The good news is… I think Bryan Murray was the only man I harassed all night long.  Usually when I drink that much, I tend to chase boys, and they tend to run.  I don’t actually remember doing that this time.  (I hope I’m remembering this correctly.)

Anyways…Did I make it on the bus home?  Yes, I did.  I don’t remember getting on the bus, but I know it dropped me off, so I got on there somehow.

Did I make it to church for Tanner’s baptism?  Yes.  Yes I did.  So I must get points for that, too, right? 

(Did I also leave church right after the baptism?  Umm.  Yeah.  Sorta.  But I had to put my dip for the luncheon in the oven.  And while I waited for it to heat, I may have had a little lie-down on the couch.  I realize that’s terrible, but I live next door to the church.  Anybody else would’ve done the same thing, right?)

OK.  I know.  I’m much too old to be acting like this.  I definitely realize that.  I’m not proud of it.  And I'm never letting Sadie – OR her evil twin – out ever again.  She’s officially dead.  I promise.

Thank you to Bucky for the jacket, which kept me warm while I slept outside at a picnic table.

Thank you to Lynn for finding my camera – for those of you expecting pictures, I'm sorry, you’ll have to wait until I get it back…

Thank you to people who brought me water bottles and made sure I was still breathing.

Thank you to whoever made sure I got on that bus.

But most of all?   Thank you to the Newlyweds… 

Lynn & Steve, you guys threw one of the best parties I’ve ever been to (even though I can’t remember most of it.)  I can’t think of two people who deserve a better celebration than the one we had in honour of you.  Your day was beautiful, and you both looked amazing.  Together, you make the perfect ‘team’!

I wish you both many years of happiness, laughter, and love…

…CONGRATULATIONS!!!