Thursday, November 10, 2011

We can’t abolish Christmas. I NEED TOO MUCH STUFF.

*Warning:  The following post is going to make me sound like a selfish, bratty little shit.  I apologize in advance.  I don’t really think I am a selfish, bratty little shit, but…yeah…some days, I guess I am.  Today is one of them.*

This morning over breakfast, my mother gave me her annual pitch to abolish Christmas.  She has done this every year, I think, since we were old enough to know that Santa & his elves hadn’t been working hard to make our wishes and dreams come true in the North Pole all year long.  That, in fact, the magic beneath the tree on Christmas morning was all because of her.  And that all of that magic ends up costing a pretty penny.

Every year, my mom says, “I think we should really cut back this year.  We all get too much, and Christmas should really be for the kids.”

And I throw a mini tantrum.

Yes.  I know.  Spoiled Rotten.

I totally understand the reasoning for my family wanting to cut back at Christmas.  My sister and her husband have two kids now.  My brother is getting married in the New Year. 

And…well…as we all know, I have no money.

I should be clicking my heels with glee that my mom wants us to draw names instead of buying for everyone, and that only the kids should get stockings.

Here is my issue.  I AM STILL A KID, DAMMIT!!!

Also, I have The Wish List going.  There are things I need.  If we abolish Christmas – or if I only get one present -  what am I going to do?!?!

I know what you’re thinking.  “OK, Jill, seriously?  You are so forgetting the reason for the season.  Family and love and world peace and Baby Jesus.”

Yeah yeah, sure sure.  I know all of that.  I haven’t forgotten.

But there’s THE WISH LIST, people!

And so, without further ado…all that my little heart desires this holiday season:

Tassimo

A Tassimo.  All the cool kids have one.  I NEED ONE TOO.

blender

A blender.  This would be very practical, since everytime I want to make hummus, I have to go to my mom’s to use her food processor.  I think this would do the trick, and also I could start making smoothies.  This would be beneficial to my health.

breadmaker

A bread maker.  Okay, maybe this is dumb, since I’m not eating much bread these days due to my “healthy eating ways”.  BUT if I could make my OWN bread with whole grains and healthy things like seeds and berries, wouldn’t that be cool?  I’ve been dying for one of these for a while now.  Please, Santa??

tea pot 

brewing basket

This is the tea pot and brewing basket from Epicure Selections.  I almost ordered it from my lovely Epicure rep, Vicky, yesterday, but held off.  I’m a new tea addict, and I think every tea addict should have a tea pot and a brewing basket.  I don’t even know how it works, but I neeeeeed it.

knife set

Knives. Good ones.  And I really want ones with dimples in them.  I will feel more like a professional chef if I have fancier knives.  It will be much easier to cut my healthy fruits and vegetables up with.  So, also beneficial to my health.

Sens heritage jersey

Okay.  Enough with the kitchen stuff, I’m not even supposed to be thinking about food.  I WANT THE SENS NEW HERITAGE SWEATER.  It is, by far, the coolest sweater they have, and I wish they would wear it all the time.  Love.

Big Bang season 2

The Big Bang Theory, Season 2.  Because I already have Season 1, and I want all the Seasons.  I need to have Sheldon in my life forever and ever.

nail polish

Nail polish.  Another of my new addictions.  Specifically, I want O.P.I. nail polish.  I have collected many different brands and colours over the past few months, but I have no O.P.I.  And apparently, I’m missing out.

fireplace

An electric fireplace for my living room.  I’ve always wanted one, but didn’t know where I would put it.  I have recently determined the perfect spot for it, and now I find myself browsing Canadian Tire flyers for deals.  It would be easier if one just magically showed up on Christmas Eve, no?

area rug

I also want an area rug for my living room.  I think this one is cool, and it would match my new furniture.  (My furniture is blue, not white.  But I think it would work).

So, as you can see, clearly I’m not asking for junk and gadgets that will lose their novelty.  I am asking for necessities.  I cannot live without all of the above items.  They are must-haves.  And the reason why Christmas cannot be abolished this year.

Oh, and also, I need someone to paint my house for me, a new car, and a husband.  Just little things like that.

*sigh*

I know. 

Selfish, bratty little shit.

16 comments:

Stacy said...

In my family...i'm the one who wants to abolish Christmas...not so much get rid of it but cut back. Luckily on my side, we only have Maddy for a kid which means that we should be able to buy everyone else...the problem I have is, we never know what to buy each other so this year we decided, NO GIFTS other than Mom and Dad and Maddy (lucky kid) - we have a new baby coming and have to save and we have three neices on the other side that we have to buy for. Even with ME making this decision, it is sad to think, what - no presents, but my mom doesn't fall under this rule so we still get presents from them...
and...just for the record (Miss spoiled brat LOL) - your wish list is very pricey...what is the cheapest thing there?? Your Season 2 DVD's which are probably still $70.00 - LOL

Amy said...

Girl, I am right there with you. I am not too proud to say that I want some gifts!!

Don't get me wrong.... I am all about my kids but there betta be something with my name on it under that tree!! :)

I love nail polishes too! And I am slowly getting into shoes. Gotta have my toes looking cute in a new pair of peek -a-toe shoes, right?? :)

Sharon said...

I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it Jill. You're post is not great today. I'm saddened to see the importance you're placing on material things when you really need to appreciate the fact that you have enjoyable Christmas experiences with family year after year, regardless of the gifts received and money spent.

Speaking from the experience of having many tense Christmas' and only recently discovering the joy and happiness that other families share at this time of year. I'm content in just gatherine for a great meal and good company. Yes, I need furniture and home renovations. But these are just material things and they don't define me or my family.

We have just introduced the secret santa concept in our family celebrations and we have a budget of $75 for a gift and stocking stuff for the person we drew. To some, this may seem like not much. But we don't NEED much. We have food on our tables, roofs over our heads and ways to keep warm. More importantly, we have the love of one another.

I would rather not receive any gift. I am completely humbled by the whole experience and am ecstatic to simply be privileged to participate in a happy care free Christmas environment. I would rather save my own pennies and purchase the THINGS I want on my own. Knowing that this way, I have truly earned them.

I've known you for many years and I know that this is not how you truly feel. I know you're a great individual and friend and I know that deep down inside you, you could care less if you receive any material items for Christmas or not. I know you would be ecstatic to just have a lovely family gathering and your heart would swell and it would be complete.

I think as a society, we need to learn to appreciate the finer things in life. And by finer things, I mean love, family, friendship. Things that are in reality the most priceless items that money CAN'T buy.

Hope you're not mad at my rant and I hope you know I still luv ya!

Lindsay said...

HA ha that was a funny post! I totally get your sarcasim! I know how you feel though too! When my brother got married my parents wanted to "abolish" christmas too and I was all like, "Hello, you have another child here" You can't just DROP christmas all the sudden becasue he moves out! Merry christmas!

P.S Is it too early to say Merry Christmas?

Lindsay said...

HA ha that was a funny post! I totally get your sarcasim! I know how you feel though too! When my brother got married my parents wanted to "abolish" christmas too and I was all like, "Hello, you have another child here" You can't just DROP christmas all the sudden becasue he moves out! Merry christmas!

P.S Is it too early to say Merry Christmas?

Jill said...

I should've put in a disclaimer to remind everyone that I don't actually BELIEVE I'm going to get all of the stuff on The Wish List. It's sort of one of those "shoot for the moon" things that were mostly just jokes. I had hoped the tone of the post was more silly than serious. Apparently I failed.

Yeah, I'd be happy with Season 2 of The Big Bang Theory. My mother isn't Donald Trump, after all.

And it probably is way too early, but Merry Christmas to you too, Lindsay :)

Lena @ Mom2MemphisAndRuby said...

pssst.. i love OPI, BUT i actually love Sally Hansen's Complete Salon Manicure MORE and it's cheaper! ;)

Steph said...

I like all your stuff on your list, especially the rug. We were going to run away this year for Christmas. Like go on a vacation but that's not happening now.

Jen said...

Ha ~ I love this post! I would be very upset if my family decided to abolish Christmas! I feel like you Jill, I'm a kid too - and I want presents!!! Haha!

Leslie said...

OPI at the craft sale tomorrow... just picked it up today. :)

Kristine said...

I rarely use my blender. I make my hummus in the food processor. However you really DO NEED the Tassimo. It is the BOMB. Just sayin'....

Nicole said...

bhahahahahaha love it! especially the bratty little shit part... LOL :). Yeah I guess it does get tougher on families when you start adding in a bunch of people for presents... and add in a crappy economy and inflation, well screw it basically :). But since you're making out your Santa list, can I make mine out too ;)

Carly Ann said...

I am SO on the same page as you! My whole life, the only time my parents spoiled us was Christmas, and it has never changed. But just like your mom, my mom keeps saying that things will be different this year, it isn't going to be a ton of gifts, to which I say BS! But neither my sister or I have children, so it's not like the family is growing at all.
Good luck getting what you want!

Connie said...

I hate to tell you this....but all of the cool kids have a Keurig.

:)

I always try to get my family to draw names because they are cheap and I'd rather have them spend $50 on one nice gift, instead of everyone getting a shitty $10 gift.

But that's just me....

Nancy said...

Oh, Jillian,
Its OK to dream. I saw this cool gadget soup maker thing on TV the other day and really wanted it. You just put all your stuff in it,it cooks the home made soup, then puch another button and presto, you have your blended, pureed soup. Then I gave my head a shake as I really don't need one.

I know how important family is to you. If there is anyone who cherishes family more, I have yet to meet them. I also know you truly know the meaning of Christmas...lol, I am your student minister, after all!

Hope you feel this virtual hug, as I know the spirit in which you wrote your blog. Sarcasm,not all people get it. I usuallly don't, as Livvie tells me, but I got it this time!

Blessings, and Merry Chritmas to all!

Jillian said...

Big Bang Theory is on my wishlist too!! Season 4 tho I have the other three. I never need much but there is always those few things you just need