*Warning: The following post is going to make me sound like a selfish, bratty little shit. I apologize in advance. I don’t really think I am a selfish, bratty little shit, but…yeah…some days, I guess I am. Today is one of them.*
This morning over breakfast, my mother gave me her annual pitch to abolish Christmas. She has done this every year, I think, since we were old enough to know that Santa & his elves hadn’t been working hard to make our wishes and dreams come true in the North Pole all year long. That, in fact, the magic beneath the tree on Christmas morning was all because of her. And that all of that magic ends up costing a pretty penny.
Every year, my mom says, “I think we should really cut back this year. We all get too much, and Christmas should really be for the kids.”
And I throw a mini tantrum.
Yes. I know. Spoiled Rotten.
I totally understand the reasoning for my family wanting to cut back at Christmas. My sister and her husband have two kids now. My brother is getting married in the New Year.
And…well…as we all know, I have no money.
I should be clicking my heels with glee that my mom wants us to draw names instead of buying for everyone, and that only the kids should get stockings.
Here is my issue. I AM STILL A KID, DAMMIT!!!
Also, I have The Wish List going. There are things I need. If we abolish Christmas – or if I only get one present - what am I going to do?!?!
I know what you’re thinking. “OK, Jill, seriously? You are so forgetting the reason for the season. Family and love and world peace and Baby Jesus.”
Yeah yeah, sure sure. I know all of that. I haven’t forgotten.
But there’s THE WISH LIST, people!
And so, without further ado…all that my little heart desires this holiday season:
A Tassimo. All the cool kids have one. I NEED ONE TOO.
A blender. This would be very practical, since everytime I want to make hummus, I have to go to my mom’s to use her food processor. I think this would do the trick, and also I could start making smoothies. This would be beneficial to my health.
A bread maker. Okay, maybe this is dumb, since I’m not eating much bread these days due to my “healthy eating ways”. BUT if I could make my OWN bread with whole grains and healthy things like seeds and berries, wouldn’t that be cool? I’ve been dying for one of these for a while now. Please, Santa??
This is the tea pot and brewing basket from Epicure Selections. I almost ordered it from my lovely Epicure rep, Vicky, yesterday, but held off. I’m a new tea addict, and I think every tea addict should have a tea pot and a brewing basket. I don’t even know how it works, but I neeeeeed it.
Knives. Good ones. And I really want ones with dimples in them. I will feel more like a professional chef if I have fancier knives. It will be much easier to cut my healthy fruits and vegetables up with. So, also beneficial to my health.
Okay. Enough with the kitchen stuff, I’m not even supposed to be thinking about food. I WANT THE SENS NEW HERITAGE SWEATER. It is, by far, the coolest sweater they have, and I wish they would wear it all the time. Love.
The Big Bang Theory, Season 2. Because I already have Season 1, and I want all the Seasons. I need to have Sheldon in my life forever and ever.
Nail polish. Another of my new addictions. Specifically, I want O.P.I. nail polish. I have collected many different brands and colours over the past few months, but I have no O.P.I. And apparently, I’m missing out.
An electric fireplace for my living room. I’ve always wanted one, but didn’t know where I would put it. I have recently determined the perfect spot for it, and now I find myself browsing Canadian Tire flyers for deals. It would be easier if one just magically showed up on Christmas Eve, no?
I also want an area rug for my living room. I think this one is cool, and it would match my new furniture. (My furniture is blue, not white. But I think it would work).
So, as you can see, clearly I’m not asking for junk and gadgets that will lose their novelty. I am asking for necessities. I cannot live without all of the above items. They are must-haves. And the reason why Christmas cannot be abolished this year.
Oh, and also, I need someone to paint my house for me, a new car, and a husband. Just little things like that.
Selfish, bratty little shit.