Maybe I’m okay with the ghosts?

Alright.  This was the post I was planning for yesterday, before I was de-railed by Lena and the opportunity to discuss – yet again -  one of my favourite topics.  (Baby names, of course.)

And you know what?  I’m kind of glad I didn’t go with this yesterday.  Because what I planned on talking about was how I watched Paranormal Activity 3 the night before, and how frigging freaked.out. I was by it.

Today, though?  Today, I’m not as freaked out.  And I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m starting to be okay with the scary stuff again…

There was a time in my life when I loved all things scary.  In high school, I saw every slasher/horror/ghost movie I could get my hands on.  It was a popular genre at the time, and there was no shortage of those kinds of flicks to draw from.  My group of friends and I often gathered to watch them together – and those are some of my best memories of my teen years.

However, I pin-point the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as the beginning of the end of my love for all things scary.  I think I’ve told this story before, but I went with my friend Sara to see it in theatres, and we ended up hiding behind our coats, looking at each other, and whispering about how we wished we could turn the sound off, too.  It was awful.  And such a waste of money.  I don’t think I actually watched even half of it.  (And we repeated this scenario several months later in my parents’ basement when it came out on DVD, hiding behind pillows, while our friend Erin laughed at us for being such babies.)

After that?  I just didn’t want to bother anymore.  It wasn’t fun.  I didn’t want to watch stuff like that anymore.  I didn’t like that feeling of unease it left me with.  That gripping fear.  It was too much.  My wild imagination could just blow it all up into something way, way worse.

Since then, I take the notion about once a year – usually around Hallowe’en – that I want to watch something scary.  And I always end up regretting my decision.  And then I’m all like, Did you learn nothing from the Texas Chainsaw debacle, Jill, you donkey??  You. Can’t. Handle. This. 

Seriously.  I can barely handle The Vampire Diaries.

Yet I found myself, once again, leaning towards the ‘scary’, earlier this week.  Let go from work early because of the rain (woo hoo!), I went to the store and perused the DVD rentals.  I finally ended up with two movies.  In one hand, I held The 5-Year Engagement.  In the other, there was Paranormal Activity 3.

Having seen the first two installments of the PA series, and having that sudden and unnerving itch to watch something scary, I ended up going with it.  I mean, I had to know what happens, right?  Me & Paranormal Activity 3  was going to happen eventually – what better time than a rainy, gloomy Monday night?

Well, I was spooked.  Obviously.  I was about 3 seconds into the movie when I started hearing bumps and thumps all over the house.  (Logic would say it was my roommate, Susie, who was upstairs at the time, but of course, logic goes right out the window at times like this.  IT WAS GHOSTS AND DEMONS.  For sure.)

When the movie was over, and I had to shut all the lights off and head upstairs?  Well, I was doing my usual glancing-over-the-shoulder, did that shadow just move??, vault-myself-up-the-stairs-three-at-a-time-because-something’s-chasing-me routine that always follows one of my ill-advised scary movie viewings.

This is when my mother usually says to me, “Oh my God, you dummy, why do you DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!?!”

I honestly don’t know.  I was sure I was in for a night of tossing and turning and leaving-the-light-on-just-in-case.  I mean, that’s what usually happens after I do this to myself.  Sometimes for days.  Weeks.  I’ve been known to leave the hall light on for months after watching just an episode of Criminal Minds, for crying out loud.

But you know what?  I read for a little while, and then shut my light off like a big girl.  And I actually fell asleep quite easily.  I didn’t have nightmares, and really the only issue was when I woke up at 5 AM to pee, and I kind of got spooked out in the dark hallway.  I had to give myself a little pep talk, like, “Come on now, it’s frigging MORNING TIME, it’s not prime ghost time, don’t be ridiculous.  People are up and getting ready for work.  Scary 3 AM time is long over.” 

(Scary 3 AM time is the worst.  Thanks to The Exorcism of Emily Rose, I will lie in bed for half an hour even if I have to pee really badly, because I will not get up during scary 3 AM time.  I will not.)

So.  This whole experience has left me wondering… Am I back to being okay with the scary?  Should I test out Criminal Minds again, maybe?  Perhaps even Scream 4?

OK, maybe not Scream 4.  (I don’t think I’ll ever not be scared of that mask.)

I really did used to love watching the spooky stuff, though.  The cheap thrill of it all was one of my greatest delights. 

Maybe I’m okay with the ghosts again? 

We’ll just have to see…