Now THAT'S Puzzling

I'm so mad about hockey right now that I could scream. Or cry. Or both.

So forgive me if this turns out to be a hostile Blog.

I know it's super-late, but I want to re-cap Survivor, so here it is:

When last we convened at Tribal Council, we bid farewell to both Cao Boi of the Whatchamacallit tribe & Christina of the Hot Young Studs. Also, the Studs lost Nate to the the other side in the big "kidnapping" twist. Ooooooh.

So we all met up back at the Reward Challenge, where Nate was allowed to compete with the Whatchamacallits, but they chose to sit him out anyways. This challenge had teams separating into two groups - the swimmers & the puzzle-solvers. The swimmers had to swim out to this big jungle-gym, and using a big stick, jump off the apparatus & knock a key out of six hanging thingamajigs, then swim back to shore. Once all six keys were recovered, they could un-lock their puzzle pieces and allow the puzzle-solvers to do their shit. Inexplicably, Brad chose to be a puzzle-solver for the Studs. Now this might have made sense if, say, JP was still around, or if Nate was allowed to play for them, but Brad's ridiculous move left Adam, "Poverty", and Rebecca as the swimmers. And Rebecca couldn't even survive Round 1. She flopped back to the beach empty-handed and flashing around her honkers.

I'll give credit where credit is due - "Poverty" has annoyed me to no end throughout this year's edition of Survivor, but she showed spunk in this challenge. She took turns with Adam swimming out, she never quit, and she made things interesting, but in the end, they were no match for the strong swimmers on the Whatchamacallit team. They easily took the victory, scoring potatoes & peanut butter. Understandably, the Stud side was baffled and irritated by Brad's decision to be one of the puzzle-solvers, especially considering his strong swimming abilities. It seemed like a pretty lame choice to me. And it even led Nate to call Brad a Nancy-boy, further stirring my suspicions he may be gay, thus eliminating him from being classified as a Hot Young Stud.

But what was even more confusing, was at the Immunity Challenge, where we were once again presented with a swim-then-solve-the-puzzle relay, Brad decided to swim, along with Nate & "Poverty", leaving Adam, Rebecca, and Jenny to solve the puzzle. What happened to his puzzle-maker dreams, huh? Fortunately for him, the Studs staged a come-from-behind win, saving his butt from TC. The Whatchamacallits had their rendez-vous with Jeff around the fire, eventually dousing the flame of the ever-whiny Jessica. Whatever. Glad the twit is gone.

Of greater concern to me was that my poor Adam had to spend a night on Exile Island in the midst of a terrible storm, where he huddled in a fetal position, praying for it to just go away. My, how I wish I'd been there to huddle with him, all snuggled in his big, strong arms...

Alright, moving along to the Amazing Race re-cap:

With Dave & Mary marked for elimination, they had to finish in first this leg or else suffer a 30-minute penalty. So of course, instead of trying to bolt ahead, they spent the entire leg trying to co-ordinate with the rest of their 6-pack alliance. Even when they did get ahead a bit, they usually waited for the Bama girls & the Cho brothers to catch up to them. Now, there's a good strategy for winning $1 Million.

Once arriving in Madagascar, teams came across a new race feature called the Intersection. Teams had to double up to complete the Detour. James & Tyler (soooooo not gay) were fortunate enough to pair up with Rob & Kimberly. They were, however, unfortunate enough to take the Fast Forward, which led them to a street vendor in a yucky meat market, where they each had to consume a heaping plate of cow lips. Mmmmmmmm. So the Fast Forward ended up being the Not-So-Fast-Forward. James downed his lips relatively quickly, followed by Rob, with Tyler trailing behind, and Kimberly, of course, struggling.

Meanwhile, back at the Instersection, Dave & Mary opted to team up with the Bama girls over the Beauty Queens, showing that once again, they really aren't gamers. The Beauty Queens have proven to be efficient and strong competitors, whereas the Bama girls are lucky to even still be there. It was a choice that probably hurt the Kentucky team in the long-run, as they struggled with Bama to carry the big, foam mattresses through the crowded streets of Madagascar. The Barbies & the Cho brothers worked well together, and made quick work of the task.

On to the Road Block, where one team member got to travel to the Pit Stop, while the other had to run up and down a hill looking for people with rubber stamp collections. They needed to find four particular stamps to match the ones on their clue. The Barbie hustled about, very quickly finding her stamps, and then she rushed back to the Pit Stop, where the two of them hit the mat before those poor Fast Forward people, still struggling to swallow their chunks of hairy, toothy cow lips.

At the Not-So-Fast-Forward, Kimberly finally downed the rest of her lips, and they were off. James & Tyler (did I mention they are sooooo not gay?) landed in second place, followed by Rob & Kimberly. Rob, once again, won me over a little mroe - he was extremely patient with Kim this time, and he even seemed lovey-dovey with her as he wrapped his arms around her in the little interview, and then after she finished her lips, he proclaimed, "My chick is the best!" Yeah, Rob...I'm liking you a lot these days.

A few of the teams had problems with their cabbies wanting to stop for gas, including the Cho brothers, who might have finished ahead of the Not-So-Fast-Forwarders too, had it not been for their unfortunate stop at the gas station. They made it to the Pit Stop in fourth place, followed by Dave & Mary. However, due to their 30-minute penalty, they had to stand aside and watch the Bama girls roll in and finish ahead of them. It was a teary time on the mat, as the girls said good-bye to their 6-Pack teammates from Kentucky. I was honestly a little surprised that the Cho brothers didn't pop up and say they'd forfeit their place to allow Dave & Mary to continue racing. It just seemed like something they would do.

So there. Not too hostile, was it? In fact, this has been therapeutic. I haven't even thought about hockey since I started writing. What was the score in that stupid game, anyways?