Thursday, September 19, 2013


You guys. 

You guys, you guys, you GUYS!!!

I finally have a functioning television again.



It’s not the PVR I so deeply coveted.  In fact, it’s an old receiver that I stole from my mother’s basement.   A relic.  A dinosaur.

It’s so old that when you go to the Guide, it’s the complete blue screen Guide.  No little TV show up in the corner or anything.  It’s a complete antique in the satellite dish receiver world.  No HD capabilities.  No Personal Video Recording abilities.  It barely even comes with a remote control.

And yet, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have it.

I can watch TV from the comfort of my own home again!  I can watch stuff that doesn’t come in DVD format!  IT’S SO FRIGGING EXCITING!!!

After Yoga last night, I flicked it on and Jeopardy was on, and I was so flipping thrilled.  Over JEOPARDY.

I didn’t even watch Jeopardy in my old life.

Now, I am riveted by it.  Riveted, I tell you.  Alex Trebec never looked so good!!!!

It’s been a long road for me without a functioning satellite receiver.  It had been acting wonky for over a year before completely crapping out several months ago. 

And even last night, after I thieved Mom’s receiver, I thought for sure the Satellite Receiver Gods hated me and were determined to never let me watch TV again.

You see, my brother told me if I took that old receiver and hooked it up, I’d be good to go, at least temporarily.  And so I did what he told me to, and then I sat patiently waiting for it to acquire a signal.  I waited and waited and waited.

Finally, I went to the set-up menu and saw that, once again, it was showing 0% Signal.  Zip.  Zero. nada.  I ran a bunch of diagnostics tests which I didn’t even understand.  I went through all the transponders, which I also don’t even understand.  And there was absolutely frigging nothing.  I was brokenhearted.  The satellite repair man told me I had 100% signal a few weeks ago, so why did I now have nothing??? I shut it off, turned it back on, and tried again.  And STILL NOTHING.

I was going to cry.  Because that’s what I do when things don’t go my way.  I meltdown.  And I cry.

I took a deep breath, and decided to calmly check the cables one more time to make sure I had them all going in and out of the proper holes.

And that’s when I realized the satellite cable was not the right one.  I made the switch, and BOOM!  I was in business, baby!!!


I watched the NEWS!   I watched JEOPARDY!  And I watched SURVIVOR!!!!  I felt like I did when we got our very first satellite dish 15 years ago!!

Seriously walking on sunshine here, peeps.

Also, I stole my mom’s extra DVD player because mine is an el cheapo that skips and jumps and acts like a loserface, so I got to also watch an uninterrupted, un-jumpy episode of Dexter.  Which also happened to be the first episode of Season 4, which  was by far the craziest episode of Dexter I have watched so far.  Like, ends in a cliffhanger that you’d normally see in a season finale… not in a season premiere!!!

It was a good night.

Now, this is far from a permanent fix to my dishues.  This old dinosaur could crap out on me at any second – I mean, the other one did, and this one is even older.  And I no longer trust dish receivers at all.

But for now – until I get the other set-up going – it’ll get me through.  I hope.  Knock on wood.

Fall TV, and Ottawa Senators hockey… I’m ready for you!!!! :)


Jen said...

Aw, are so funny! I love reading your posts. Happy to hear you have TV again!

Stacy said...

yea i checked our receiver and it's kaput (no idea how to spell that LOL) - sorry!

Stacie said...

I have a vision of you dancing a jig in front of the TV...bonus if you did because that burns calories!

Nicole said...

You crack me up. I love reading your blog posts :). haha.

Jo said...

LOL very happy for you! We all deserve TV.

ps. check my blog I mentioned you

VandyJ said...

Awesome! Welcome back to commercial interrupted television watching. Truly, I appreciate the commercials for marking the time if nothing else.

Mrs. Match said...

yay! Just in time for all the fall premieres. Did you check out New Girl? I was laughing so hard!

LC Miller said...

I love your enthusiasm over the tv! Sometimes I feel the same way after it's been a looooong day.

Emmy said...

Yea!!! So glad it finally all got taken care of!!