Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Single Girl Files: As my friend Sharon would say, Who Needs a Man…

Says who The Single Girl Files always have to be about badly I NEED a man?

I’m going a little off-track today; a little against the grain of what I’ve always done with this series. 

This edition is going to celebrate ‘the single girl’; embrace her for being the strong, independent woman she’s been forced to become...    A little “girl power”, if you will.  Maybe a little bit of tooting my own horn, too.

I realize this may be a post that some of you have been hoping for for a long time. 

Well, folks, here it finally is.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this ever since my friend Sharon wrote a post entitled “Who Needs a Man”, in contrast to my Single Girl Files post from the same day, when I declared that, if for NO other reason, I needed a man to kill the behemoth monster spiders that had moved into my house.

I think about it every time I write one of these posts saying I need a man to fix things or squish bugs, and you guys tell me all about your husbands and boyfriends who don’t necessarily even know how to use a hammer, or who run screaming from the creepy-crawlies.

I also had plenty of time to think about this as I went back and forth, back and over, back and forth, cutting my hay field (aka, my lawn) on Saturday.

You know what?  Four years ago, I had never cut the grass before in my life.

Like, ever.

I grew up with a dad who looked after all the outdoor work.  Keeping the cars washed, taking out the garbage,  and having the grass always cut to perfection.  Mom did the inside stuff and the flower beds; Dad did the rest of the outdoor stuff and fixed things. 

I think he only let me try cutting the grass once, and when I drove into the side of the house, that was the last time he ever let me on the riding mower.

(Cut me some slack, man – the brakes on the thing didn’t work, and I was, like, five years old.)

Anyways…When I moved into my own place almost four years ago, I had to learn how to cut the grass, along with many other chores that I had never, ever done before in my life.  And I’ve grumbled a lot about them over the years.  I’ve had to buy tools.  I have to remember when garbage day is.  I’ve had to kill bugs.

And you know what?  As much as I’ve grumbled about it?  I’m kind of damned proud of myself.

I’ve also watched my mom over the past year learn to do all of these things, after my dad got sick and couldn’t do it anymore.  And I’m damned proud of her too.

I think he’d be proud of both of us.

Dad always admired my friends who could do things that I considered “boy jobs.”  My friend Sara could change the oil in her car, use all kinds of tools that I don’t even know the names of, and she loves  to cut grass.  My friend and roommate Sue is the same.  And my friend Sharon is also willing to tackle any kind of manual labour.  In fact, pretty much all of my friends are way better at this stuff than I am.  They’ve all got men, but they don’t need to rely on them to do it for them.

Dad used to always say, “Now, if they can do it, why can’t you?”

I’m learning.  Oh, I’m learning.

And I think I’m  better for it.  I’ve definitely gained independence; I’m stronger and more capable than I ever thought possible.  I don’t need to depend on a man to put my bedroom door back up when it falls off it’s hinges anymore.  I don’t need a man to cut my grass.  I don’t need a man to take out the trash for me.

And…well…when a giant spider makes it’s way into my house, I can still always call on Brenda… ;)

Do I want a man?  Of course I still do.  But I want one to be more than just the handy-man I often claim to ‘need’ in these posts.

I want someone to snuggle up with on the couch and watch movies.  I want one to go out with and try new restaurants.  I want one to be my partner when I am embark on adventures.

Who needs a man? 

Not me.  Not anymore.

I still want one, for sure.  But you know what?

Until then, I’m going to be just fine on my own.

And that’s a very empowering feeling.


Linking this Single Girl Files post up with the lovely hostesses of Talk To Us TuesdayImpulsive Addict & Shawn!


VandyJ said...

Go you! Knowing you can do things is awesome. The more confident you become in yourself, the better off you are!

Lindsay said...

Great post!!! You can do anything you put your mind to!! It's good to learn to do that stuff yourself but also nice to have someone do it too! I think men and women each have "their jobs".

Lindsay said...

Great post!!! You can do anything you put your mind to!! It's good to learn to do that stuff yourself but also nice to have someone do it too! I think men and women each have "their jobs".

Stacie said...

Exactly! Think about all of the things you are learning to do on your own! Some guy someday will think that is totally hot!

Brenda said...

Its knowing the difference between WANT and NEED! You may WANT a man - but by no means do you NEED a man Jill! You are very cabable of taking care of everything on your own! Well, maybe not the behemoth critters in your house but then again, it gives us a chance to chat everynow and then!

Nadine Hightower said...

Exactly! Boys are accessories. I taught my girls to be strong and not rely on a man to get thru life but to have fun with in life.

Shawn said...

Good for you!

I can do almost anything but earn enough money to live on. I went from my parents house to my husbands house and haven't had a job in 18 years. I admire and repsect woman just like you, independent and strong. So again I say, good for you!

Thanks for linking up with us!

Nicole said...

I like it and that's true... don't rely on a man just for those things, it's better to be able to take care of yourself and just have a companion/best friend/lover :) haha

Anonymous said...

I definitely learned those things in college when I lived with girls. I man, we had no idea how to do a lot of that stuff and none of us had burly boyfriends. Funny thing is: my husband doesn't do a lot of those things. Not because he doesn't want to or have the inclination, but I mow the lawn b/c I like to. He's pretty handy with tools but only because things came up. So I think it's cool that you got to learn all that; they're life skills you need with or without a man.

Date Girl said...

I love this post! You know, having all of that independence and knowing how to fix things yourself is going to make you such a great partner to a lucky man someday.
I've had to learn, since Match is gone an awful lot for work, or sleeping because of his shift. If I want something done, I at least attempt it myself first. It feels so good to say you did that! I'm looking forward to the day you find your partner in crime, but until then, I'm so glad you can embrace your single self!

Impulsive Addict said...

You GET IT ON girl! Good for you! Who needs a man for those things anyway!? Since I stay at home, I end up doing more around here than he does. It feels empowering, ya know? Bravo post my dear! xoxo

Steph said...

Yay! I love this post!!! When my husband was deployed, I learned how strong I really am. Yes, it's nice to have him to do shit I do want to do but I know that I can do it if necessary. I can do it all, on my own if I have to. And so can you!

Stacy Uncorked said...

The loud sound you hear is me cheering enthusiastically... ;) You GO! It is empowering to be able to do everything and not be dependent on someone else, isn't it? You should be proud of yourself! :)

Field Trip Fun-ish, Future Nagging Guest Blogger, Angry Birds Take On Stonehenge

Emmy said...

And the more you can do and are able to do the better the man you will find as no man really wants a girl who can't do anything and is totally dependent- they might like dating them for a day or two but not what they want in the end.