Weird natural phenomena this summer. Really weird.
I live in a part of the world where we might get a bad thunderstorm once a year, if that. And by “bad”, I mean some big booms and some lightning, but that’s about it. Very rare to have anything extreme.
This summer? It’s been a whole ‘nother story. We’ve had crazy wind storms that have knocked out power, knocked down trees (and even knocked down some people’s pool fences – ahem – Randy…); excessive rains and flooding that washed out a part of the highway near our town and it STILL isn’t open yet; wild thunderstorms with lots of lightning…NOT my cup of tea. At all. Combined with Harold Camping and all of his messed-up-math doomsday calculations? eeeeeeeep…
So you can just imagine the glee I felt when our favourite local weatherman, JJ Clarke, announced that we were under a TORNADO WATCH on last night’s 6' o’clock news while I was at my mom & dad’s.
“Wha….Whaaa??? A TORNADO???”
Of course, JJ tried to brush it of as no biggie. “Just a watch, not a warning. No need to panic, folks.” Sure, J. That’s realllllll comforting coming from a guy who – no offence – gets the weather wrong more often that not.
I know it’s not his fault. It’s like this weatherman club they have. You can’t get in unless you tell the odd fib. Plus, with a tornado recently touching down and causing major damage in Goderich, I suppose the weathermen are being on the cautious side around here.
(PS - I have no idea where Goderich is, but it was all over the local news. So it must not be far away.)
Still…my trust in JJ’s weather reports is not strong. So when he tells me that we probably won’t get a tornado, I’m thinking there’s a good chance we will.
My survival instincts kicked in. “I think I should go home and pack a bag and stay here for the night,” I said to my mom.
She kind of rolled her eyes. Real protective mother I have, eh? “You’ll be fine,” she said.
“But…BUT what if we DO get a TORNADO?? I’ll be all alone!! WHAT WILL I DO?!?”
(You can sense the panic, I’m sure, in the odd capslocked word and the many question & exclamation marks.)
My father’s immediate response: “Go home and pack your bag and spend the night here.”
He knows me well.
So that’s what I did. Brilliant idea. I was immediately reminded by a friend (and fellow former Stanton Roader) on Facebook, when I expressed my concerns over JJ’s report, that Stanton Road is like God’s Country. No way a tornado could get me there. Even better? The fact that with the central air system and the noise of Dad’s machine down the hall that he sleeps with on, I couldn’t hear a thing outside anyways. We probably wouldn’t have even known if there was a tornado out there until it ripped off the roof of the house.
But good news. No tornados. Phewf. I guess JJ was right this time.
Perhaps my bunk-at-mom-and-dad’s reaction was a little over-the-top. It was just a watch, not a warning, after all. But I got a little excited when my chair weeble-wobbled the other day because of the earthquake in Virginia. If we’re so much as “watching” for tornados, chances are I’m already freaking.
And we’re not trained for tornados in these here parts, you know?
If JJ warns me again tonight, I’ll do it all the same. Because if I’m getting whisked away in a funnel cloud, I need to make damn sure my mommy and daddy are coming too.
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How cool is that?!? You’ll know which one I am, I’m the one with the long, rambling answers. What else is new? ;)