Thursday, April 14, 2011

It's all about the feather. And music from movies I've never heard of.

It’s Survivor/Idol night, and lo and behold, I discovered I can watch Survivor at 8 and American Idol at 9. Would've been nice if I'd discovered this a few months ago. So full re-caps today, folks, buckle up!


Rob’s getting all the accolades for his genius move of eliminating, once again, the “wildcard” (aka Matt) from the game. He seems to have especially impressed David. The tribes are still very much separate, despite sharing a camp now. They definitely haven’t merged in the literal sense. They don’t sleep together, they don’t eat together...I don’t even know if they even speak to each other. Well, except for David telling Rob how much of a genius he is.

Rob is soooo the Godfather of this game! His speech about Ashley not telling him about the deal Ralph offered her? Downright sneaky-evil...and no doubt, he will take them both out before it matters.

Here we go. Former federal agent Phillip’s got his feather stuck to his forehead and he’s babbling something to Jeff about meditating on needing a sign and this feather appearing out of thin air. Awesome. But tell me, Phil, what exactly is the “sign” that this feather gives you?? And his speech impediment is back. He apparently can no longer pronounce the name of his former tribe, Ometepe. I suppose it is a tricky word, Phillip. I won’t hold it against you.

The Immunity Challenge is pretty intense, with people being eliminated each round. Grant, Mike, and David made it through the untying knots challenge and the spitting water challenge to face off in the puzzle-making finale. Oh YUSSSS!!! Grant wins it!! That Immunity necklace looks pretty good around my boy’s neck!!

The preview for Scream 4 is fuh-reeeeakin’ me out! I HATE that Scream mask.

Mike and David decided to play a trick on Ometepe, pretending that their tribe’s flagpole has been moved, so they went fake-searching for a hidden idol. They didn’t go unnoticed by Rob and the gang, as they came barrelling up the beach to see what they were up to. Rob confesses to having Idol paranoia. They never found anything beneath the flag, of course, and it’s bothering him to know there could be another Idol in play besides his own. Ah, the first hint of a Boston Rob weakness. The good news: I don’t think the other tribe is smart enough to have figured that out yet.

Off to Tribal we go, with Jeff kicking things off by letting Phillip tell us folklore about his full-blooded Cherokee great-uncle or something who came to him in a dream, told him exactly what would happen at the Challenge, and bequeathed upon him that feather he’s been sticking to his forehead. The whole TC seems to be about Phillip and his friggin’ feather. His own tribe can’t even stop snickering. But I do believe David is the first one to publicly call him what we’ve all been thinking all along: a lunatic. That did not go over big with Phil. Not one bit. Fear the feather, David. Fear it.

It came down to votes being cast against Phillip and Mike, and of course, the numbers were against Mike. That, and he didn’t have a feather stuck to his head.

Rob is happy with his little soldier, Phillip. He says he’s not really crazy, just a little crazy. I’m not so sure about that, Rob...

I just realized we’ve had a challenge, Tribal, and watched someone head off to Redemption Island, and we’re only a half-hour into the show. Apparently we’re getting rid of a second player tonight!

Ralph and David are pissed that they’re on the outside looking in and the other tribe isn’t even giving them a chance to play the game. Sucks to be you, boys!

A cheeseburger reward? I don’t imagine I’ll ever be on Survivor, but if I were, I’d kill for this reward. Mmmm cheeseburrrrrgerrrrrrrrrrs...

It’s an endurance Challenge. Whoever hangs on a bar the longest without dropping into the water below wins Immunity. They all get to choose if they want burgers or not. Phillip and Steve pick the burgs, while everyone else is playing to win. Rob severely disappointed me by dropping out very quickly. Might as well have taken the cheeseburgers, man.

Phillip’s trash-talking David. I like it. As nutso as Phil is, I like how much he’s aggravating the other guys. Now Jeff’s making them hang on to the bar only by their legs. We should lose some people fairly quickly now. Julie drops. Grant drops. Ralph drops. It’s the Ometepe girls vs. David. This looks severely uncomfortable, especially for Dave hanging by one leg. And he finally drops! Ashley and Nathalie quickly agree to give the challenge to Andrea, both dropping at the same time. And Andrea proudly accepts the Immunity necklace. Looked better on Grant...

Ralph realizes that a whole bunch of fish have been trapped in their net, but Rob convinces his tribe that the fish have been dead too long and they’re rotten. Grant went over to grab a snack anyways, but then Rob called him back, insisting that he not eat the fish. I knew Rob was powerful, but I had no idea he was this powerful. These people are starving, and he has somehow convinced them not to eat?? Wehhhhhhh.

Ohhh noooo. Phillip’s decided TC stands for “Truth Circle” again, divulging his STEALTH R US silliness to the other tribe. Not that it’s any big secret. They know about their “buddy system”. They know Rob’s the master. They know they’re inseparable. But really, Phil? Do you have to tell everybody everything?

Rob is the target of the old Zapatera tribe tonight, but it’s a lost cause, as the former Ometepe tribe members far outnumber them, and they wrote down David’s name, sending him to Redemption Island for what I can only assume will be a three-way challenge between him, Matt & Mike next week. Three strong young men going up against one another? Should be a good one!

Uh-oh. In the previews for next week, Phillip’s playing the race card. Things are about to get uuuugly...

American Idol

Still can’t believe Pia is gone home. That had to be one of the biggest travesties in Idol history!

It’s movie music night. Love it. And I love Steven Tyler’s white pants. Not many old men can pull off the white pants look, y’know. Hotness. Speaking of hotness, judge JLo has been named People Magazine’s Hottest Woman in the World. That’s great, but for some reason, I’m much more interested in the Hottest Man in the World. Steven Tyler is definitely the Hottest Old Man in the World. I’ve anointed him.

Paul’s kicking off the show tonight with “Old Time Rock ‘N Roll” from Risky Business. But he doesn’t appear to be bringing a guitar, so I’m probably not going to like it, unless he comes sliding in in just his socks and underwear. And, of course he doesn’t. He’s wearing a retarded bedazzled suit. Yuck. Love the song, but I just don’t like guitarless Paul. And I’m not sure that chick even knew how to play the sax. Paul grabs a tambourine, but it’s too late. No guitar = no love from Jill. Sorry, man.

Next up is Lauren Alaina, who is severely disappointing me by choosing “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus from the Hannah Montana movie. Seriously? Seriously??? Oh right, I’m a Bieber fan, I have no right to judge. Le sigh. Lauren has a beautiful voice, and she’s far better than Miley Cyrus. I guess a Hannah Montana song is what we should expect from a 16-year-old, but I don’t think of her as a kid. She’s far more mature in her performances, and despite my dislike for the song choice, she did a great job with it.

It’s Stefano’s turn, doing Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” from the movie Boomerang. I’ve never heard of this movie, but this was my favourite song when I was seven. Stefano is so adorable. And he’s bringing back memories of when I thought the group was called “Boyz Eleven Men”. Ah, the good ol’ days. This is my favourite Stefano performance so far. I’m sort of glad he survived last week, just so I could hear that. He left Randy yelling, “Stefano is in it to win it!! Stefano is in it to win it!” And I’m a lip reader and I think JLo just called him “the shit” on live TV. Excellent.

Scotty’s up, and I can’t believe it, but he’s singing a country song. Imagine. “Cross my Heart” from the George Strait movie, Pure Country. I didn’t even know George Strait had a movie. But I do know the song, and it’s perfect for Scotty. Unfortunately, for some reason, I think his back-up singers are drowning him out at times. I didn’t really enjoy the first part of it, but the second half was much better. Also, my TV got the twitches, and it sort of ruined it for me. I still think Scotty’s got a great country voice, though.

Here we go: Casey, bringing back his big bass, doing Nat King Cole’s “Nature Boy”, despite the mentors telling him not to. What movie is this from? No clue. Again, not a fan of how it began, but once he got into it, it was quite good. Very artsy. A little too piano-bar-jazzy for my liking, but the judges loved it and gave him a standing O. They said they hoped America got it. I, for one, am not sure that they will.

Haley’s turn, and she’s going with Blondie’s “Call Me” from American Gigolo. What is with these obscure movie choices?! Or are they just obscure to me?? Regardless, Haley’s been coming on strong these past few weeks – From Benny & the Jets, to Janis, now Blondie – perfect choices for her voice. I quite enjoyed it. Plus, I wish I had Haley’s hair. Interestingly, the judges didn’t like it so much, so I guess there’s a reason I’m not a for-real music critic. Whatev.

Finally, a movie I know! Jacob’s doing a song from The Pursuit of Happyness, and one of my favourite songs, with “Bridge Over Troubled Water”. This song is made for Jacob. Loved the gospel-y feel he gave it. That guy has got pipes. Wow. Incredible. And the second time in one night that a judge swore (this time, sexy Steven Tyler). Indeed, Jacob gave me goosebumps.

James lands the money spot, closing out the show, and rocking it with the title track to the movie Heavy Metal by Sammy Hagar. I seriously don’t know hardly any of these movies. Jimmy Iovine really didn’t want him to do this in the mentor session, and I have no idea why. James killed it. This is totally what he does, and when he stood on the judges’ table and screamed at the top of his lungs? Legendary. Absolutely legendary. Plus, he had Zakk Wylde playing lead guitar for him. James shone. Period.

I’m thinking Haley will likely be the one to go home, but who knows. It’s impossible to predict, when someone like Pia was sent home so early. I think what these guys proved tonight is that Jimmy Iovine doesn’t know what he’s talking about, since so many of them went against his advice and did an amazing job.

Holy crap. That’s a lot of words. I hope some of you read at least half of them. ;)

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