I ripped the dress. But not because of fatness. It was because of my stupid brother.

In the past six months, you guys have had to hear an awful lot about me trying to lose weight in order to fit into bridesmaid dresses.

And I realized just now that I never followed up on Dress #1.  The one I had to squeeze my butt into for my brother’s wedding on February 11, 2012.

Oh, yes.  That’s right.  There’s a story to tell.

As you may recall, I faced the fiery little dragon and lived to tell about it.  She turned out to be a miracle worker that managed to get me into that dress.  Well… at least, a month in advance, I got into it.  And figured I was good to go.

But then everything happened with my dad.  

My dieting and weight loss goals kind of flew out the window.  For the month leading up to my dad’s passing and Luke & Amanda’s  wedding, I was stress-eating.  A lot.

And so, on the day of the wedding, having not tried on the dress again since that day at the store, I wasn’t 100% sure it was going to fit.

Talk about a sigh of relief when it did.

Phewfffffffffff.

Life was stressful enough right about then.  I didn’t need to add any ‘dress drama’ to the occasion.

Thankfully, Luke & Amanda’s big day was just about perfect, all things considered.

Photos courtesy of the lovely Leslie at Lestanto Photography

And I think Steph and I looked pretty rad in our BM dresses, too.

With Sherri-Lynn and Steph

With Britt & Cowan

But of course, despite my best efforts, I had dress issues regardless.  It wouldn’t have been right, I suppose, had I escaped completely unscathed, after all that worrying and fretting and busting my ass to fit into it.

Something had to happen to my dress.

The good news is that it wasn’t because of my fatness.

Oh no.  I had another culprit to blame.

You see, brother dearest was a little miffed at the fact that I teased him (just a little…hardly at ALL!) in my speech at the dinner.  And so, he faced off with me on the dance floor later that night.

He pretended to kick me.

So I tried to faux-kick him back.

And that’s when the dress ripped.

Riiiiiight up the back.

I heard it.  I felt it.  My jaw dropped, and I grabbed at the rear of my dress. It was bad, I could tell.   And I instantly started scrambling around, trying to find someone who could help me before my butt fell out completely.

My sister was the first one I found as I tried to back off the dance floor without anyone noticing. 

“Kara.  I ripped my dress.  I have to go home.  I swear to God, my ASS IS SHOWING!!”

(Please keep in mind that my ass would not actually have been showing.  Oh no.  I was wearing an undergarment that literally went from my knees up to my boobs.)

(Really, I’m not sure what’s worse.)

Anyways.  Sister to the rescue.  She bent down to examine the damage, and quickly reported, “Don’t worry, you can’t see anything.  The lining of the dress didn’t rip.  You’re still completely covered.  No one will even notice.”

Thank the GOOD LORD!!!!!

(My brother-in-law was horrified that I posted this picture on Facebook.  I was just relieved that I could.  This picture COULD have been much worse.)

Anyways, I just couldn’t resist sharing my butt picture with blog land.

I was thatclose to having to leave my brother’s reception early.

Thankfully, I was able to return to the fun on the dance floor without anyone finding out about the dress debacle.

HA!  Who am I kidding.  I spent the rest of the night bending over to show people just how close I was to having my butt on display.

Seriously.

So.  Yes.  All things considered, I would say we had a great time.

But let’s hope that I get into Dress #2 on May 12 for Lindsay & Ryan’s wedding without as much difficulty.

Resuming the diet today… :)

Linking up today’s post and the picture of my butt with Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn for Talk to Us Tuesday!!  Thank goodness they have no rules.   Not sure a picture of my butt would be allowed on just any linky party…