Thank God for Hot Young Studs

It's time for tonight's Survivor: Cook Islands re-cap!

But before I get into it, I'd just like to cast my vote for Pavarti or Parvati or whatever the hell her name is to pleeeeeeaaaaase go home. Her flirtation strategy this week completely rubbed me the wrong way. And when she looks at the boys with what she probably feels is a coy and cute smile, all I see is her big, annoying, toothy mouth. And she can darn well keep her paws off my Adam. And my Nate. And my Brad. And my JP. I loathe her. I detest her. I want her gone.

Unfortunately for me, the girl whose name sounds like "Poverty" didn't make it to tribal council tonight. Quite surprisingly, Jeff already demolished the racially segregated tribes and merged into two big multi-cultural groups. I tried really hard to pay attention to their tribe names this time around, but it didn't work. So henceforth, I shall refer to them as the Hot Young Studs and the Whatchamacallits.

On the Hot Young Stud side, we have Adam, Nate, Brad, JP, and "Poverty". After than, I'm not sure. I mainly pay attention to the men, and there's still too many girls who haven't annoyed me yet to learn all their names. And despite the fact that there are a lot of girls on the tribe, they don't matter much to me, so my focus will remain on the Hot Young Studs.

For the Whatchamacallits, we have Yul, Jonathan, Cao Boi, Ozzy, Candice, Becky, Cecilia, Sundra, and Jessica (who I refuse to call "Flicka", 'cause I think it's a stupid nickname). Hey, I knew all their names. Amazing! Good work, Jill!

Alright, after the tribes got together and did their happy dances, we got down to the nitty gritty Immunity Challenge. It was the kind of competition I would absolutely suck at, and most of the girls did suck at it. The two teams were roped together and had to chase each other around in knee-deep water wearing 15-pound weights around their necks. Ooooo, now that sounds like fun!! Team members could drop out as they got tired, but they had to pass their weights onto another tribe member. I called this one before it even started. I mean, how could the Hot Young Studs not win? There was no way Yul and Ozzy could do it all for their tribe, and while Jonathan and Cao Boi gave it a good go, they weren't young enough to keep up. It might not be fair, but thus is the fate of the people are not Hot Young Studs.

Then Jeff announced that the Hot Young Studs got to send one of the Whatchamacallits to Exile Island, therby sparing them from Tribal Council that night. I don't know if you'd call that a "glass half-empty" situation or a "glass half-full" situation. In any case, Candice is going to soon find out, as she waves good-bye and is sent on her merry way to dig around for a hidden Immunity Idol that she will never find because it's already tucked safely away in Yul's bag. Yay, Yul! (The only Whatchamacallit for whom I have any cheer left in me). I just hope, for poor Candice's sake, that Billy hasn't managed to swim back to the Island to wait for her. He just seemed loonie enough to do something like that. But man, wouldn't that make for some interesting TV?!

Back at the Whatchamacallit camp, it's a battle to see who can come up with an alliance the quickest. The two names being tossed around are Becky and Cecelia. See how this game turns on a dime? Last week, I didn't think any tribe that had Cao Boi on it would ever be able to head to the campfire and not send him home. These new tribal lines certainly were a reprieve for him. I fail to see what Becky or Cecilia did to deserve being on the chopping block, but after watching Jonathan and Yul scramble to secure Jessica and Cao Boi's votes in favour of Becky, I began to dislike them just a little. Yes, even my beloved Yul. And not because I don't like Becky - just because I don't really like Jonathan or Cao Boi or Jessica. I wish Yul and Becky had teamed up with Sundra, Cecilia, and Ozzy. But I guess I can't win 'em all, huh?

If I'd been able to decide the vote, I would have sent Jessica's ass packing. If I'm not mistaken, she was the dummy who, in Episode 1, very carelessly lost her tribe's chickens, releasing them back into the wild. Last week I barely noticed her, and this week, she just seemed flaky and useless. And she calls herself "Flicka". Ugh. She's almost as annoying as "Poverty". (But not quite).

So we said buh-bye to Cecilia, Jeff took note that the Whatchamacallits are very much a tribe divided, and then we got to see a sneak preview of the Hot Young Studs lazing around next week while the whiny girls bitch about it. I mean, c'mon girls...they're hot, can't you see that?? Sheeesh!

And that's a rap! I'll be back Monday with my weekend rundown. Keep your fingers crossed that something really, really exciting happens at Toys 'R' Us, okay? Have a great weekend, all!