Tuesday, December 22, 2015

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...

... but a dream it will have to remain, I guess.

This abnormal Tropical December is really depressing for a snow-loving kid like me.  If I'm being honest, though, I've been preparing myself.  Bracing myself.  Two weeks ago, when the long-range forecast showed a warmer-than-usual Christmas ahead, and not very much snow in sight, I started trying to come to terms with a Green Christmas.

And truly, I have.  I know there is nothing I can do about the weather.  I remember when I was a kid, watching the evening news faithfully from December 1st on, praying J.J. would give me the good word that a White Christmas was on the horizon.  And 9 times out of 10, it happened.  But that odd flukey year when  a Green Christmas was projected and I would end up in tears, my dad would say, "If there's one thing you can't control, it's the weather..."

Last year, we had snow in the weeks leading up to Christmas, but a few days before hand, the temp warmed up and it rained non-stop, and it ended up being a mostly-Green Christmas.  I was a little depressed, but thought, "Oh well... guaranteed a white one next year."

HA!  Yeah right.  Total opposite.  Greener than green.  Wet, muddy, BALMY.  I mean, it's supposed to be 16 degrees on Christmas Eve.  16 FREAKIN DEGREES.  That's like the temp we hit in the Spring when people start busting out their shorts and flip flops.  And that's what it's going to be on Christmas Eve?!?

Not impressed.  Not one little bit.

And yet, it's almost comical.  It's been a warm December.  There's been a lot of talk about El Nino.  It's not really a surprise that it's going to be a green one.  But +16?!?!  I don't think anyone could have predicted that.  People are talking about golfing on Christmas Day. We literally sold 20 rolls of sod today, on December 22nd.  I'm not kidding when I say I just might wear a bathing suit to Christmas Eve service in protest of this ridiculous weather.

Seriously, though.  What am I going to WEAR?!?!  I purchased a cozy Christmassy sweater and a nice warm sweater dress over a month ago from Old Navy and anticipated wearing them on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  If I DO end up wearing them, we may have to turn the AC on so I don't sweat to death.

I know there are people who are clicking their heels right now (I can hear Lindsay's clicking right now as we speak, actually) and I know there are many who are enjoying this weather, thankful for stress-free holiday travelling, and those who just hate snow and winter and everything that comes with it.

But I'm not one of 'em.  This just doesn't feel like Christmas to me, and I'm going to keep on lamenting about it.  There is nothing magical about wet grass and mud and fog.  Nothing sparkles, nothing twinkles, nothing feels like it's radiating joy... don't EVEN get me started on how the hell Santa is supposed to land his sleigh when there is no frigging snow.

The forecast indicates there is no longer any point in wishing or hoping or praying.  There is no Hail Mary pass to throw, no last-minute deals I can make with the Snow Gods, no use in shaking the snowglobe extra hard.  It just ain't gonna happen.

Bah.  Humbug.


Jen said...

Couldn't have said it better myself...
Desperately praying for snow,

Lindsay said...

Click, click, click...

Stacy said...

if I could get my hands on a snow machine, I would fill your yard, and your yard only with snow...I told that to Danica last night and she said that's what she wanted too - she is your niece!