A Tale of Two Jillians

Alright. I think I’m ready to move on from the Ketchup Chips now. (but thank you all for granting me the moment to share in that weakness…)

I’m ready to tell you guys all about Jillian Michaels, and how I’ve finally made peace with her.

As some of you may recall, a few years back I bought her 30-Day Shred DVD, and hung all my hopes on it to somehow magically take me from 230 lbs. to 120 lbs. in 30 days with a daily 20 minute workout.

There’s a *slight* chance that my expectations were a teensy bit too high.

I started on Day 1 with Level 1, and pretty near died. Right there on my living room floor. And it really pissed me off that at the exact moment that I just lay down on the floor, soaking in sweat, deciding to completely give up, that she was yelling something like, “C’MON! YOU WANT RESULTS IN 30 DAYS? YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME 110%! YOU CAN’T JUST LIE DOWN AND QUIT!!!!”

What a bitchface.

I hated her. Loathed her. Absolutely detested her. “Sure, J.Michaels, it’s easy for you, you scrawny little rig, you! But I.CAN’T.DO.IT!!! AND STOP YELLING AT ME!!! URGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!”

To say we didn’t quite hit it off would be a bit of an understatement. We didn’t mesh well, we Jillians. Not one little bit.

For the next couple of months, I’d occasionally pop the DVD in (definitely not every day for 30 days, though), and give ‘er a go. Every time, I failed. Every time, I thought to myself, How do people put up with this woman? Why does everyone recommend this damned DVD? I literally can’t stand her!!! And how can she possibly make 20 minutes feel like an ETERNITY???

Eventually, I gave it up completely, and that 30-Day Shred DVD started collecting dust on my shelf, with me no further ahead in the weight loss game than when I started.

Fast forward a year or so, to January 2013, and there I am, ready to embark on a new “health & fitness journey”. I had been encouraged by my friend/co-worker Jared (who became my Beachbody coach) to give TurboFire a try. I was skeptical. Extremely skeptical. But I really wanted to give it a good go this time, so I invested – money and time – into a program that came highly recommended.

And may I just say, right here and now, God bless Chalene Johnson and her awesome upbeat tunes and fun dancey moves? TurboFire made me realize that I could actually enjoy exercise. It made me realize that I could actually have a little bit of fun with it. It made me realize that I didn’t have to dread each time I popped one of the DVD’s in.

After a year and a half of working out on a regular basis, 5-7 days a week, it is one of the biggest keys that I tell people who wonder how it can be done: Find an exercise program or activity that you enjoy.

It makes the world of difference.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t love working out. I DO love the way I feel when I’m done, but there are still many days that I have to give myself a pep talk to get ‘er done. There are still many days when my eyes keep drifting to the timer in the bottom corner of the screen, praying the minutes pass faster.

But for me, not working out is not an option. I make myself do it. If it’s on the schedule, at has to happen. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. No excuses. I’m the queen of excuses, so it’s taken a lot of work to get to this place right now.

Chalene was the right kind of trainer for me. And after her, I followed it up with Dan and Rach from Les Mills Combat – not quite the same, but still enjoyable. I didn’t dislike them, and that was very important. I needed to be OK with taking 30 minutes to an hour to work out every day.

So, how did Jillian Michaels get back into the game after I declared her a monster, you ask?

As it turns out, after losing 75 lbs. and becoming a little stronger, her workout isn’t quite as intolerable – insufferable - to me anymore.

I discovered that last fall/winter when my DVD player decided it was allergic to my Turbo DVDs. Until I got my replacement DVDs (and, eventually, a new DVD player), I had to sub with some of the other DVD’s I had kicking around. JM’s 30-Day Shred was one of them. The first time I did it, I thought to myself, “Hmm…this isn’t as hard as I remember it being…” Coincidentally, Jillian wasn’t as big of a pain in the ass either.

Then I picked up her 6-Week 6-Pack and Yoga Meltdown DVD’s because they were on sale on Amazon for $3.99 each one day. (I figured at that price, it couldn’t hurt, in case I ever needed a change-up). I now have both of those in regular rotation, along with some of my favourite Turbo and Combat workouts, in a schedule I developed myself for my Six-Week Plan.

That’s right. I’m spending time with Jillian Michaels four times a week now.

And I no longer have the urge to shoot laser beams of death at her out of my eyeballs.

Kind of a miracle, actually.

Now, whether Jillian’s workouts are actually going to be effective for me remains to be seen. I’m doing 6-Week 6-Pack 3 times a week (in conjuction with Turbo Upper & Lower workouts), and Yoga Meltdown once a week, with Les Mills Combat and Tubo high-intensity cardio workouts on the other three days. My main goal right now is to try and blast away the layer of fat lingering on my biggest trouble spot: the tummy.

I can FEEL my core getting stronger each time I do 6-Week 6-Pack. I KNOW it’s definitely doing something.

But we’re far from bikini-ready yet, my friends.

I’m giving Jillian these six weeks. I’m considering it an experiment. Combined with extremely healthy eating and the other workouts, I know it’s definitely going to be beneficial.

But will it do the trick 100%? Will it get me in that damn bikini by July 28^th?

I’m still very unsure.

The good news is, I don’t dread pushing play anymore on the J.Michaels DVDs. I don’t cringe at the sound of her voice. I don’t want to scream obscenities at her anymore.

I’ve made peace with Jillian Michaels.

She and I are finally OK.