Wednesday, July 16, 2014

It’s like friggin’ Lent all over again.

The Six-Week Plan. Here’s how it’s been going:

The first two weeks, I was strong. REALLY strong. I didn’t waver in my steadfast vow to eat healthy each and every day hardly at all. I was a g-d powerhouse.

Weeks three & four were pretty good, too. I mean, I had a few slip-ups, but nothing major. Nothing detrimental. And I was pleased with the progress I was making. Of the 15 lbs. I’d gained since Easter, I had lost 10 of them, and I was pretty positive that I’d be able to reach my lowest weight by the end of the six weeks. Everything was going tickety-boo. I didn’t even go buy that bag of ketchup chips I was fancying last week.

Then, the weekend of Week 4 – this past weekend - happened. All I can describe it as is pure sabotage. On Saturday, I had an unexpected splurge at the restaurant Scores, where I discovered the soup, salad & fruit bar sounds healthier than it is, especially when paired up with a massive platter of food. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I’d halted there, but for whatever reason, Saturday evening turned into one of those binges that seem to hit me periodically.

I ate my leftovers from lunch for dinner, then moved on to a PC Blue Menu Frozen Yogurt Bar. Followed that up with a bowl of fruit, and then I scrounged around in my freezer and found two really old freezer burnt cookies to eat. I was dying for chocolate, so naturally, I ate a bag of chocolate chip & cookie pieces meant for topping sundaes (which was hiding in the back of my cupboard). Next came the spoonfuls of peanut butter and honey. And last, but certainly not least, a chocolate Santa from two Christmases ago.

chocolate santa

He didn’t even taste right, but I still ate him.

Seriously. WTF.

I hadn’t even pin-pointed Saturday as a “problem day” on the schedule. It was Sunday that I had circled as a “be careful, be mindful, be strong” day – the day of the baby shower my friend Kerry and I had been planning.

I was anything but careful, mindful, or strong. I left Brittany’s baby shower feeling extremely stuffed. I over-ate. It was obvious to everyone around me, as my mother kept shooting me “stop eating!!” eyes, and Kerry kept hissing at me, “That’s enough! No more!” (they were trying to be helpful, not mean – trust me.)

Here’s the kicker: I had supplied the chips, dip, Party Mix, etc. for the shower, and thus brought home several bags that had been opened but still had plenty left in them. I decided Sunday evening that I couldn’t have these chips lingering around tempting me, so I ate them.

bags of chips

ALL of them.

Yesterday, I literally had a food hangover. I felt sluggish and thirsty and bloated and just plain ol’ gross.

Worst of all, I felt severely disappointed in myself. My weekend binge had erased a large portion of my progress over the first four weeks of the plan. And I was the one who kept saying, “Anyone can do ANYthing for six weeks!” Apparently not. *sigh*

I awoke Monday morning with new resolve, though. Two weeks left. Time to buckle down and finish strong. I can STILL do this!!

And then, yesterday, I was hit by peanut butter and chocolate cravings. Of course I was.


When did I become such a GIRL?!?! I NEVER used to crave pb & chocolate! But right now, I’d give anything for a bag of Peanut M&Ms. Or a package of Reeces Peanut Butter Cups. Or better yet, a huge slab of Café 349’s infamous Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake.


This is absolutely, 100%, exactly what happened to me during Lent. A few weeks of being a machine, a few weeks of hanging tough, then a few weeks of lunatic cravings that all involved peanut butter Easter eggs.

The thing is, this time around I swore I wasn’t going to do a post-challenge food-fest. A few treats in honour of my birthday and being on vacay, but NO $100 worth of Easter chocolate or a list of things to “reward” myself with.

Instead, I’m doing my best to block out the cravings for bad stuff. I’m focusing on re-grouping and closing out this six-week challenge as best as I can. Is the bikini going to happen? Considering this past weekend and the damage I did to the number on the scales with my indulging, all indicators are pointing to no.

But I’m no quitter. I’ve had a set-back, but I’m still determined.

Gonna giver one last shot…

1 comment:

The Lovely One said...

I hope you survived! Can't wait to read about your results...