The Pink Undies Gotta Go! / The Idols Make Me Feel Old

Okay, here we go – Survivor/American Idol Mash-Up Night!!

We’ll kick things off with Survivor:

• Anybody remember when Russell cried last week after being booted out? Ah, sweet memories...
  
• For the love of GOD, could somebody loan Phillip a pair of shorts and burn those hot pink undies? Blechhh!!
  
• Russell’s Angels went to the Redemption Island Showdown as witnesses for their tribe, while Rob & Grant represented for the other tribe. Rob & Grant...mmmm. Okay, right, the challenge. Matt vs. Kristina. It’s a giant Rubix cube puzzle challenge. Is Matt seriously chirping Rob for voting him out while working away?? Cocky, dude. And Kristina may be the first person in the history of the world to almost pass out while doing a puzzle. Matt, as expected, rocked the challenge, and he gets to go back to Redemption Island to hang out while Kristina burns her buff and heads for home. Then, in swoop Russell’s Angels, tossing out randomly to Rob & Grant that they might be willing to flip if they make the merge. It appears the Redemption Island Arena is becoming a place to just spill secrets...
• Phillip’s trying to make some moves with Andrea, trying to set up a future alliance with her and Matt. If Matt gets back into the game. He said Rob’s the King and he’s a Lord, waiting to dethrone him. I’d be shocked if Phill has the smarts to pull off something like that.
• Is it just me, or is everyone jumping way ahead to the merge? First, Russell’s Angels are strategizing a flip. Now we’ve got Phillip’s big long-term plans. Hold your horses, people!!
• Off to the Immunity Challenge we go. It was one of those games where each tribe has a caller directing their blind-folded tribemates through a maze to find bags of puzzle pieces which the callers will use to solve a word puzzle at the end, with Immunity, coffee, and pastries all up for grabs. Rob and Stephanie were the callers, and while Rob had me nervous, first by choosing only to direct Grant instead of all his tribemates in the maze, and then by accidentally knocking a letter from his puzzle off the board while trying to solve it, he managed to pull through and get his tribe their first real earned “sweet taste of victory”. I was finally impressed, Boston Rob!!
• Phillip, trying to trade doughnuts for massages? Yuck. No deal, big wheel.


• Rob & Grant seem to be making a great team out there. Together they managed to claim the clue for the hidden immunity idol right under the noses of the rest of their tribe, without them noticing. Ah, but Rob’s no dummy. He swapped up the clues and gave Grant the first clue he found – that infamous clue that Rob interpreted as “It could be anywhere”. Then he acted out the part of "nervous immunity idol hunter", frantically digging here, there, and everywhere. Grant had no idea what he was up to. But Grant’s still hot, so that’s okay.
• What is up with this Dairy Queen commercial with the guy playing a guitar that sounds like a dolphin? It bugs me.
• Tribal Council. Not nearly as entertaining as when Phillip gets to go. Russell’s Angels seemed to be the prime candidates to go home. Whoa, is that Krista, the silent angel, suddenly all vocal and angry at TC? Strange, since up til now it’s always been Stephanie doing alllll the talking. But Steph’s not out of the woods yet, since she failed her tribe in the puzzle-making finale to the immunity challenge. The Angels tried to vote out my man Steve (he’s my pick in Stacy’s Survivor pool), but at the end of the day, Krista’s suddenly-big mouth and her previous alliance with Russell cost her. She gets to go hang out at Redemption Island with Matt. Looks like Matt will probably have another easy win next week!

And now, for my disjointed American Idol thoughts on the night when they’re singing hits from the year they were born:

• Not a fan of Naima’s song choice last night, doing “What’s Love Got to Do With It”. Not my thang. Quite impressed she made it down the staircase in those funky high heels in one piece, though.
• Was everybody born in 1984 on Idol this season? First Naima, now Paul. And here we go with the drunk ‘n high stage antics again. Soooo distracting. I just want him to stand still for two freakin’ seconds. Plus, he creeps me out when he stares into the camera. And I hate hate hate the skinny black man-pants. (But he does have nice teeth, I’ll give him that). He was using a cold as an excuse last night for a sub-par vocal performance. Whatever, I’m not diggin’ Paul, healthy or not.
• Dammit, I missed James again. I’m dying to hear this guy sing, and I always miss him!! And he did Bon Jovi?!? DAMMIT!!!
• Stefano, I want to like you. Really. I do. ‘Cause I think you’re superhot. But “If You Don’t Know Me by Now” isn’t gonna do it for me. Sorry chum. But the judges loved it. What the hell do I know.
• Pia was born in ’88. F, I’m old. She’s going with Whitney Houston – no surprise there, that’s right up Pia’s alley. She’s finally broken away from the power ballad, and she’s still super-strong. Again, not really my cup of tea, but there’s no reason why this chick shouldn’t be the next Idol. She’s solid. She’s incredible. She’s my pick to win it all. (PS - What was UP with the funky heels the ladies were wearing last night??)
• Ryan’s talking about Travis Tritt. That must mean Scotty McCreery’s up next! Oh my GOD he was born in ’93. I’m TEN YEARS OLDER THAN SCOTTY. Eeeeeep!!! But he loves Elvis, so Scotty’s still one of my faves. (But can Scotty and all of his family stop singing “Baby, lock the door and turn the lights down low”?? It’s getting old.) The boy is country magic...Oh, and Scotty’s a ball player. That gains him more big points in my world!
• I had no idea Karen was an on-line auditioner. Didn’t even know that was an option. She doesn’t interest me at all. Her hair looked like Marge Simpson’s last night, and she may have been wearing the biggest pair of hoop earrings I’ve ever seen in my life. That is all I have to say.
• Casey’s doing NIRVANA??? Things just got interesting, folks. He was born in ’91. NINETY-ONE. I thought he was about my age. Apparently I’m ancient. I still can’t believe I’m seeing “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on the American Idol stage. But I’m not sure Kurt Cobain would approve. It got better when he hit the roaring/screaming parts, however it seemed a little phony-baloney to me. Not my favourite Casey performance.
• Lauren Alaina’s up next! And she’s sick too! Seriously, there’s a bug going ‘round the Idol mansion. I don’t even want to know what year she was born. Probably 2002. Her parents look like they’re my age, for God’s sake. She’s taking on Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m the Only One”. And of course, Lauren kills it. She may be Pia’s biggest competition for the Idol crown, but I like her better because she’s more my style. Awesome.
• Lastly, we’ve got Jacob Lusk. I’ve been very “meh” on Jacob thus far. He had one amazing performance in the Hollywood rounds, but otherwise I’ve disliked him or missed him altogether. But hmm...doing “Alone” by Heart? I’m intrigued. Jacob’s still not my favourite, but man, I love that song. And I kind of liked his take on it. Not a bad note to end the night on!

As Randy said repeatedly: “We’ve got a hot competition, baby!!” From what I saw, I’d be sending Karen home. Should be interesting to see if America agrees with me!