Grant. Shirtless. / Motown Night on Idol

It’s everybody’s favourite day of the week – Survivor & Idol Recap Day! Okay, so I don’t even know if anyone actually enjoys the recaps. But too bad if you don’t. I like writing them. Deal with it.

As always, we’ll kick it off with my Redemption Island observations this week:

You know how they keep showing the clip of Russell saying, “This is the last time I will play this game” ?? I don’t believe him for one second.

After Francesca, Russell, and Kristina, it must have been a relief for Matt to finally see the young & lovely Krista arrive to join him for some quality time on the Island of isolation. It took him all of two seconds before he was flirting and calling her “Blondie”. Even good Christian boys need some eye candy, I guess.

Redemption Island Showdown. This should be a piece of cake for Matt. Krista appears to be the weakest competition he’s had yet. Oh, right, Kristina almost passed out doing a puzzle last week. Maybe she was the weakest. Whatever. They had to toss a hook to collect three bags in the sand, then open them to find their ball to use in their table maze. Krista took an early lead, but Matt was able to catch up, and in the end, he weeble-wobbled his table better than Krista and won his fourth straight challenge to stay in the game. Impressive, buddy!

I don’t mind that Matt’s hair is long. I don’t mind that he wears it in a ponytail. But I really don’t like it when he wears it like a bun. If he was my boy, we’d be going right straight for a haircut.


Sarita may be the first Survivor ever to complain of a toothache. Her tribe is complaining about how high-maintenance she is. Apparently Sarita’s toothache could be Steph’s saving grace. Because of her strength in challenges, Steph may move up the totem pole of importance on their tribe. If they lose Immunity, it sounds like Sarita’s ass could be grass. Which I’m sure she’ll be okay with, ‘cause I think she really misses her toothbrush.

Oh good sweet Lord, Pink Panties just won’t stop. SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP. He’s mad at the girls on his tribe for not pulling their weight. If I was out there with him, I would climb a tree to get as far away from him as I could. And I’ve never climbed a tree in my life. Did he seriously just call one of them a redheaded stepchild?!? WHAT?!? Boston Rob had to play peacekeeper, and told Phillip to back down. I have to wonder where this tribe would be without him. Actually, I know where they’d be. They’d be roasting Phillip’s pink-underwear ass over the fire and eating him for dinner.

Dammit, I only caught the tail-end of Jeff making fun of Phillip’s tattoos at the Immunity Challenge. What happened there, anybody see it?

It’s a ball-launching-catch-it-in-a-lacrosse-stick contact sport challenge. First team to five wins. Grant is so hot. I love him when he’s wearing his bandanna over his dreads. Mmmm. AND he’s kickin’ ass in this challenge. Pays to have a former NFL player on your side, I guess. Grant’s pissed that Mike ripped his shirt off, but I don’t mind. At all. Grant practically won that one for his tribe single-handedly, even with someone practically hanging off of him all the time. That was one hot challenge!

Another feast for Rob & the gang. And another hidden immunity idol clue for Rob. But he decides to let someone else get it, and in swoops Grant. I swear, these guys are a powerhouse in this game. But uh-oh, Phillip spotted them! And hell hath no fury like a lion and a gorilla when they think they’re being provoked! Yes, he really said that. Pure Survivor Comedy Gold. Apparently Rob & Grant better watch out because Phillip and his tattoos and the whole United States of America are going to kick their asses. I bet they’ll be shaking in their shoes.

So The Tribe Formerly Known as Russell’s Tribe are headed to their second straight Tribal Council. Steph was fighting hard to turn the tribe against Sarita, and had them all wondering what’s more important at this point – Steph’s strength or Sarita’s loyalty. It was clear that one of them would be going home. Dave lobbied hard for Steph, but when the votes were revealed, it was evident the tribe stuck with their trustworthy member over Steph’s spunk and might. Sarita was safe and Steph headed off to Redemption Island. It will be interesting to see if Matt can carry on against her next week!

And now, for my usual half-assed assessment of Idol:

Motown night? One of my fave nights! Oh, and Liv Tyler’s in the audience! Pays to have Daddy in one of the judges’ seats I guess. It is still so weird that I have a crush on Steven Tyler, but I do. Those lips...That voice...I love.

Here we go, with Casey starting things off. He looks like the curly-haired bearded dude from The Hangover – Zack Gafawhateverhisnameis - when he gets slicked up to go to the Casino to count cards with Bradley Cooper in that Rain Man spoof. And he’s doing Marvin Gaye, “Heard it Through the Grapevine.” Great song. I personally like the CCR version. But I’m also enjoying Casey’s rendition. Not bad, brother.

Thia Megia was an early favourite, but she’s kind of been boring for the past two weeks. She’s changing things up by going up-tempo with “Heat Wave”. Thia isn’t wowing me, though. Again. But what is impressive is that she’s not absolutely falling over from the weight of that giant bedazzled heart necklace she’s wearing.

Motown’s gotta be right up Jacob’s alley. I’m not familiar with his song, but I’m liking Jacob. Two weeks in a row. He’s movin’ on up in my books! Good stuff. AND he gets the sexy Steven Tyler judge running up on stage to give him a hug. We’ve come a long way since the “I Believe I Can Fly” night. I think it’s safe to say Jacob absolutely shone!!

Haley straightened her hair. And handled the staircase in super-high heels like a champ. She’s working Smokey Robinson’s “You Really Got A Hold on Me” hard, trying to get herself out of the Bottom 3 funk she’s been in so far. I like Haley, I really do. But I don’t think she has a hope in hell of winning this competition.

It’s Scotty McCreery’s turn, and for the first time, he’s being forced to leave his country croonin’ comfort zone. Oh, but wait, he’s putting a folky-country twist on “For Once in My Life” – and how could he not with that voice? That’s a country voice, no matter what you make it sing. I’m really liking his take on this song, and again I can’t help but think how much his tone reminds me of George Canyon. And apparently his low notes are getting everybody on the judges’ panel weak in the knees – male and female. Ditto.

Pia’s back to the ballads. She’s definitely a Celine wannabe. And she’s got the pipes for it. Impressive once again, and I still think she has an excellent shot of winning, but if she wants me to ever buy her records, she’s gotta shake it up. I’m not a ballad girl. Sorry, Pia.

Paul’s breaking out the guitar, Ryan says? Maybe that means he won’t do his weird annoying fidgeting and meandering about the stage. And it’s working!! He still looks completely high, but I guess a lot of performers do. Finally. FINALLY! I’m feeling Paul! Maybe it’s just ‘cause I love “Tracks of My Tears”, but he’s making it his own, and I really really like it. Somebody make sure this guy holds a guitar for the whole rest of the competition. Please.

Naima’s gonna have us “Dancing in the Streets”. Or so she hopes. She herself is tackling African dance. I’m not sure, but maybe this girl should have tried out for So You Think You Can Dance? Also, those pants might be a bad choice. Didn’t Jessica Simpson get teased for months for wearing pants like that? Still, there’s something about this chick that I enjoy. She’s different. And she’s got loads of energy. Just not sure the vocals are up to snuff...But she loves to perform, and you’ve got to respect that.

And James is closing out the show. Still pissed that I missed his Bon Jovi act last week. I love me some Bon Jovi. Anyways, this week he’s taking on “Living For the City”, and this is cementing me as a big James fan. Awesome performance! James is too busy waving to his fans to even bother with the judges. He’s a natural. This guy is going to go far, folks. You heard it here.

Based on what I saw and how the voting has gone so far, I’d say Thia and Haley are the ones who should probably be worried. My favourites on the night were Jacob, Scotty, James, and dare I say it...Paul. Hope to see them back next week!

I seriously wish these shows weren’t on the same night. I’m going to have to start calling it "Come Read a Novel Thursdays". Yeesh.