This week’s love: Trail Mix

G’day, pals.  How’s everyone doing?  I can’t say I’m at 100%… I’ve been battling a little cold since last Friday. That day, I woke up with a throat that felt like I’d gargled with rocks.  It was still sore and scratchy on Saturday, but on Sunday I woke up and I felt a million times better.  Yesterday, I had a relapse, with the cold setting up shop in my sinuses.  And so, my cranky days to continue… *sigh*

Anyways. On to things that make me less cranky… like my favourite treat this week:  Trail Mix.

We all know that Jill has an addictive personality.  When I love something, I really love it. 

Last week was a bad week for me and food.  I keep saying I’m trying to get myself back on track, but then I keep getting hit with set-back after set-back.  Last week was a bad week for people in my community, and I dealt with it by eating.  I knew exactly what I was doing – I labeled my response as emotional eating from the first moment Cool Ranch Doritos crossed my mind after receiving the bad news – and then I spent the whole week struggling with it.  No, Jillian, you do not NEED Reece Peanut Butter Cups.  They are not going to help anyone!  Sour Cream and Onion Chips?  Ice cream cones?  How are they going to solve anything?  Oh, and sure, great idea to bake cookies to comfort your friends, but then WHY did you keep a bunch of them for YOURSELF?!?  Jillian, Jillian, Jillian…

I felt sad and heavy-hearted and total despair, and so I ate, and ate, ate some more.

One of those days last week, a co-worker happened to bring a bag of Trail Mix into the office.  And not just any Trail Mix.  The extra-good Kirkland brand kind from Costco.  This particular blend contained almonds, peanuts, walnuts, and a huge variety of dried fruits.  It was soooo good.  And it was masquerading as “healthy food”, so I was letting myself indulge.  As I hovered over the bag, shoving handful after handful into my mouth, I was like, “mmmm this is so good, I should get myself some Trail Mix!!”

And yes, I was purposely avoiding the Nutritional Information on the back of the bag that basically said one serving size was, like, a measly friggin’ 1/3 of a Cup, and though that 1/3 of a Cup would be healthy fats and calories, it was probably NOT so much healthy after eating the serving size times a billion.

ugh.  Seriously, dude.  No Trail Mix for you!!!

But then I went grocery shopping on Friday evening, and I discovered the super-expensive Trail Mix blends at my local grocery store were on sale.  PLUS, there was a promo to get extra PC points for buying them last week.  On sale?!  And bonus points?!  Sign me up, Trail Mix!  Sign me UP!!

I bought a bag of walnuts, craisins, almonds, banana chips, and dried pineapple.  I chowed down on it all weekend, once again throwing “serving sizes” to the wind.

But Monday inevitably rolled around, and with it, an ever-tightening waistband and yet another promise to myself to right this off-course ship of mine.  You can do this.  No more mindless snacking.  No more comforting with calories.  You’ve done it before… you have to do it again.

The main problem with this plan?  The half-full bag of Trail Mix still kicking around, taunting me, tormenting me.

So I made a promise to myself, and that is this:  That I will allow myself a serving (yes, one piddly-arsed little 1/3 of a Cup) of Trail Mix every afternoon for a snack.  That’s it! No more!

Hell, I even measure it to be sure.  And then I spend all day gazing at the teeny tiny little container, waiting for my self-imposed 3 PM snack time.  I consider it a lesson in restraint – learning to build back up that willpower that has fallen by the wayside of late.

It’s tough, but boy, those five minutes with my little wee container every afternoon sure do make me happy.

Mmmmm… Trail Mix…

I can guarantee that by next week, I’ll be on to something else.

But this week, I’m alllllll about the Trail Mix.  Clearly.  I just wrote a whole damn blog post about it.

Psycho.