The latest challenge. I know. Lord love a duck.

That’s right, folks.  I have LESS than two weeks to go with this no-sugar-or-sweetener Lent BULLCRAP that I am putting myself through, and I have decided to give myself ANOTHER challenge.

There’s something mentally wrong with me.

But the fact is, I have an addictive personality.  I’ve always known this.  When I loooove something, I really love it.  Like Wade Redden.  And chips and dip.  And Prison Break.  And Jimmy Fallon.

When I gave up sugar & artificial sweeteners for Lent, my main concern was that I would then be inclined to replace that addiction with something else.  My goal was to NOT fall victim to that trap.  Can’t have cookies and jelly beans and mini marshmallows for 40 days?  Fine, but do NOT decide to replace them with chips and honey roasted peanuts!

I’ve done that before, see.  I can talk myself into anything.  I gave up chips before (they are my biggest weakness in life, I think) – but then somehow convinced myself that Cheesies and Doritos and White Cheddar Popcorn were not chips, so I was allowed to eat them.

It’s really a vicious cycle in my brain.

Anyways.  So for Lent, I gave up desserts and sweets and Coffeemate and Diet Pepsi, and made it a goal to not replace them with another vice.

I have failed, friends.  I have failed.

Back during the 7-day Clean Eating Challenge that I took part in, a few of the girls in the group were lamenting over how much they really missed chocolate and sweets.  And I was all like, “Hey ladies, I gave up sugar for Lent and I’m already a few weeks in, trust me, the cravings pass!  It gets easier!”  All swagger.  All cocky-like.

And then, one of the other girls shared her remedy:  “When I get hit with a craving and can’t suppress it with a cup of tea, I have a spoonful of natural peanut butter drizzled with honey.  It helps.”

And then Jill goes, Hmmm… never thought of doing that.  It doesn’t violate any of my Lenten laws…  I’m allowed honey…  And I have a jar of natural PB in the fridge… I should try that!

Boom.  New addiction.

And you can bet your ass that this kid can NOT stop at just one spoonful.  Barely able to hold myself to five or six.

For the past few weeks, PB & honey has been my gig.  Most evenings, you would’ve been able to find me standing at my counter, hovering over my jars of PB & honey with spoons, pretty much whimpering with delight.  Sweet heavenly Jesus, it was good stuff.  I didn’t need bread or biscuits or banana slices.  Just my spoons and my jars.  That’s it.

It quickly became a problem.  I had promised myself that I would not replace my sweet tooth cravings with anything other than fruit & yogurt for dessert, and even though the PB & honey was within my rules, it had absolutely, 100% become the new addiction.

I seriously might as well have filled a bowl like this… 

I felt very guilty about that.

So I gave myself a new challenge.  Two weeks left to go for Lent 2014.  Can I go the rest of the way without my new favourite treat?

Yesterday was Day 1, and I’m proud to say I was successful.  Even though my mind drifted to the PB & honey many times during the evening, I held firm.  I didn’t crumble.  I kept myself busy all evening, doing laundry, dishes, some food prep for the rest of the week… and I successfully stayed out of the jar of peanut butter AND the jar of honey.

One day at a time.

Only 12 more days to go.

When I wake up on Easter morning, the first thing I’m going to do is eat a chocolate-covered peanut butter Easter Egg.

…I might even dip it in honey.