That Dane Cook...What a Silly Bitch!

December 11th was a date I had circled on my calendar for quite some time. No, not because it was Captain Alfie's birthday - (although that would be good enough reason to have the date circled - PRAISE ALFIE!!).

No. It was circled for another reason.

Dane Cook. In Ottawa, at Scotiabank Place.

Finally!!!


OK. So I haven't been waiting quite as long as some people. It took me a little longer to join the Dane Cook fan club than most. I love my comedy, but I usually only watch once in a while, when I happen to stumble upon Just For Laughs on TV. I was never really into devoting time to following one particular comedian, and aside from the few times they brought Yuk Yuk's to Quyon a few years back, I had never even seen a live show.

Then, about two year ago, I discovered Mitch Hedberg. To prove how late I was arriving on the comedian scene: Hedberg had already died of a drug overdose in 2005 before I "found" him. However, I enjoyed his act so much that I bought a couple of his albums. I let my brother borrow them, and in return, he gave me some of his Dane Cook CDs to check out.

Now, I wasn't living under a rock by any means - I knew who Dane Cook was; I had even seen a couple of movies he was in. But I certainly hadn't seen or heard his comedy routine for an extended period like that before. And while I got a kick out of Hedberg, I was literally laughing out loud until I had tears in my eyes listening to Dane.

And that's where my adoration for Dane Cook began.

I don't get the critics - so many who claim he's unfunny, so many of his own peers who don't understand why he's so phenomenally successful - and I don't profess to be all-knowing in what's funny and what's not - but Dane Cook makes me laugh. And when I say 'laugh', I mean laughhhhhhhhh.

The dude is hilarious.

(And the fact that he's got the tall-dark-n-handsome thing going for him doesn't hurt either...)

I read in the Ottawa Citizen prior to Cook's performance in Ottawa that the reason he may stand apart from other comedians is that often, a comic is someone who is in a minority, or who was picked on or bullied, and has made a career out of using humour to deflect and make others laugh at their own misfortunes in life. Dane Cook, on the other hand, is a pretty average, nice-looking, white male, who instead of using negativity and anger and frustration to base his comedy on, he uses his cheerful on-stage manner and just flat-out makes people laugh, whether discussing his own sexual adventures, whimsical ideas, and amusing situations he finds himself in.

The critics can say what they want. Dane Cook is a silly bitch.

When he hit the stage Friday night for his Global Thermo tour, the follow-up to his Isolated Incident album, it was like a rock star had entered the building. With G'n'R's "Welcome to the Jungle" blaring and fans screaming wildly, an army of security guards lined the path through the crowd that he eventually came running down and up onto the stage at centre-ice.

For the next hour and a half? Pretty much solid laughter. Like, pee your pants laughter. I had already heard most of his act since Luke had bought the Isolated Incident CD and we had listened to it several times, but Luke's right when he says it's even more hilarious to see him do his routine live. His physical act really adds to the humour.

Did I mention he's not bad to look at? Yeah. I kinda fell in love.

(And I also love this pic because of his shirt...)

With this new album and tour, Cook gets a little more personal - even a little more sentimental, if you will - as he touches on the death of both of his parents, nine months apart. In one bit, he discusses the difficulty of deleting his mom from his cell phone contacts two years after her passing, during which he almost has the audience softly going "Awwwwww". The funny part, of course, comes about when he thinks about trying to call her one last time before deleting her and wondering what might happen if she actually answered. ("Honey, I PUNK'D you! That's what you guys call it, right? Punk'd?")

And of course, there's the joke he used as his encore, about receiving an email from anonymous@yahoo.com ("Right away, I think, 'Great f*cking name!' This guy got the original 'Anonymous'- not 'anonymous_69_kitty_kitty_lick_lick'!") He goes on to explain that the bitter emailer wrote to tell him that both of his parents got sick and died to get away from him and his crappy comedy. He claims the email haunted him for almost two years, caused him deep depression and sadness, but that two years later, once again, another email came from the same address ("...and once again, I think, 'Great f*cking name!'") The repentful emailer apologizes for his horrific email from two years before, explains that he was drinking and jobless at the time, and that he is now dealing with the death of his own father from a brain tumor.

Of course, Dane says..."I had to reply ... 'Dear Anonymous, Your father got a brain tumour and died to get away from his alcholic, unemployed, spineless son.'" Then he drops to the stage amidst the uproarious laughter crying, "I win! I WIN!"

But possibly the biggest laugh of the night? That came during his joke about getting hit in the head with a bowling ball while hiding in the closet. But I really can't repeat the rest of that one on the Blog! ;)

At the end of the night? Dane got a big SUperFInger (or SU-FI) salute from the fans in Ottawa. What an awesome evening of fun and laughs.



Can't wait til he comes back!!