Thoughts on Thursday

• I’m in a total crank this week.  Like, had a full-on meltdown last night because of things I have no control over.  I thought it might make me feel better to get it all out, but it really didn’t.  I’m at that point where I just want to curl up in a ball and disappear.  Throw my hands up and say, “I’m out”.  Go to sleep for a month and when I wake up, hopefully everything has resolved itself.
• Sometimes I hate being a grown-up. 
• And I hate change.
• Well… isn’t this an uplifting post so far.  yeesh.
• Remember yesterday, when I said my goal was to only eat 4 little sandwiches at Soup & Sandwich?  I really didn’t know if I could do it, but I did.  I had a bowl of soup, and four little sandwiches, a piece of pie (and I actually, I had the “diabetic” pie, even though I’m not Diabetic, because I thought it might be a tad healthier), and then a very light supper, just as I said I was going to do.  One small victory.  I’ll take it.
• I’m looking forward to a sort-of-quiet weekend this weekend.  My mom has my sister’s kids for their PD day tomorrow, so I’ll spend the day with them, and then on Sunday we’re going to a family gathering at my aunt’s, but aside from that, no plans.  With a very busy spring and summer shaping up, free weekends are going to be a rare commodity in the near future, so I’m going to soak this one up!
• I have officially run out of Criminal Minds episodes.  My PVR time has been cut down drastically recently, so I guess they lasted longer than they could have, but I’m sad that I’ve hit the end.  I don’t even know how to watch a show that doesn’t have FBI agents in it. 
• Or Jimmy Fallon.

• In recent months, I’ve been on this “expand my Disney movie collection” mission.  I had purchased a few of my favourites in the past couple of years on DVD – Robin Hood, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Frozen – but lately, I’ve been buying more Disney movies than anything else.  Since Christmas, I have added 101 Dalmatians, Tarzan, Brother Bear, and Finding Nemo to the ol’ DVD shelves.

• Fun fact:  I’ve never seen Finding Nemo.  A few snippets here and there, but I’ve never seen the whole thing.  I can’t wait to watch it.  I just got it in the mail the other day, and I’m hoping I can talk Caden and Danica into watching it with me tomorrow.

• Maybe some magical Disney time will make me feel better, huh?  We can only hope.
• My life is so sad.

Have a great weekend, pals.

Week 1 of “Lose Weight Lent”: Big Fail

Yes, that’s what I’m calling this Lenten season:  “Lose Weight Lent”.  Last year was “Sugar-Free Lent”, this year is “Lose Weight Lent”.

Today marks one week down, and boy oh boy, was I an utter failure.

This is the problem with tackling Lent the way I have chosen to this year. When I give something up completely, I can be strict about it.  I can control myself.  By doing this general and vague “I’m going to use these 40 days to lose weight” promise, it gives me too much wiggle room.  It gives me too much freedom to cheat, bend the rules, and lose sight of the goal.

But that is also why this is the perfect Lenten practice for me this year.  One week in, I can see that even more clearly.

It’s not going to be easy to keep focused when the goal is “giving up 15 lbs.”.  But focused is what I must be.  I used to be able to do this really well.  I could be tempted by a buffet of my favourite foods, and instead of diving in, I’d show restraint.  Somewhere along the way, I lost my ability to do that.  I was throwing caution to the wind so often that I forgot what it was like to show a little willpower.

Throughout Week 1, I was unsuccessful in getting back in the groove.  There were too many occasions where I was tempted and failed.

But I did reflect quite a bit on how I once was able to face these challenges and walk away feeling successful.  For instance, last year for one of the lunches, I was doing a 7 Day Clean Eating Challenge, and I was able to tackle Soup & Sandwich without breaking any of the rules.

I think I’m finally ready to step up and be that girl again.

I’ve already wasted one week of Lent, and I’ve now resolved that I’m not going to waste any more of these precious 40 Days.

Today is the first challenge:  Soup & Sandwich lunch at our church.  This is an occasion that I always have trouble with.  The soup is never an issue, but when faced with a platter of delicious sandwiches, I struggle to find restraint.  If I was making a sandwich for myself at home (which is rare), I would never make more than one.  Yet faced with those delectable little triangles at Soup & Sandwich, I can easily lose track and eat the equivalent of two full sandwiches…sometimes more.

Then comes the dessert.  I always bop around the dessert table – today, it will be laden with assorted kinds of pie – and search for the biggest piece.  Once I’ve selected my giant piece of pie, I’ll top it with a huge dollop of whipped cream.  And no, I won’t leave one crumb on my plate.

Then, I return to the office feeling stuffed, and by mid-afternoon, very dopey and sleepy.  Happens every time.

My goal today is to enjoy Soup & Sandwich, but dig deep to find some willpower. To not go pure glutton once I hit that church basement.  My plan is to eat no more than 4 little sandwich triangles – the equivalent of one sandwich.  I contemplated skipping the pie altogether, but I’ve decided I will allow myself a modest piece.  But then a very light supper tonight shall follow.

There will be more challenges coming up in the coming Lenten weeks.  A baby shower, an Irish Tea, a day of bridesmaid dress shopping that I’m sure will include a stop for a bite to eat…

Today will set the tone.  Today, I will prove to myself that I can do it.

If I can “give up” 15 pounds by Easter Sunday, I will be feeling rejuvenated, and very much back on track again. My clothes will feel good again, and I’ll have my confidence back.

This Lenten goal is probably more important than any other I’ve had before.

I can’t lose sight of that.

It’s almost Lent. AGAIN.

I know, right?  Like, wasn’t it JUST LENT a few weeks ago?  I remember it with terrifying clarity.  It is a little shocking that it has creeped up on me again.

Normally, I have a game plan set long in advance.  It’s weird, but what I give up for Lent always is a long thought process for me.  I usually have a list of things, I weigh pros and cons… I put an irrational amount of thought into it.  Then, once I’ve settled on what I’m giving up, I put a lot of thought into how I’m going to handle it.

I get a little obsessed with it, actually.  I might take it a smidge too seriously.

But not this year.  I have no freakin’ clue what I’m giving up this year.

As we all know, last year I gave up sugar & artificial sweeteners.  It was hard.  And I don’t think I ever fully recovered from the sugar binge that followed.  I truly believe that what you give up should be something important; something that you know you will miss; something that you know will be a challenge.  If I never ate chocolate (hahaha, funny joke), and then decided to give up chocolate, well, then… what’s the point, right?  That’d be too easy. 

But last year… Last year was almost too hard.

So I’ve been thinking about what I would really really miss if I had to give it up, but that won’t totally destroy my life.  Honestly, right now the one thing I can’t seem to get enough of is hot chocolate.  But I’m not entirely sure I’m prepared to give it up.  I know, that’s ridiculous, since it’s just a small portion of what I gave up last year.  But I’ve come to soooo look forward to my big mugs of hot chocolate lately.  Since getting back on track after Christmas, it is the only indulgence I’ve really permitted myself…

Oh wait.  Another problem I have is dining out.  While I’ve rid my house of the junk food (save the hot chocolate, of course), I haven’t really stopped myself from eating out at restaurants so much.  And I haven’t made the healthiest choices while eating out at restaurants.  I know that removing that from my life would be a challenge – but again, almost too big of a challenge.  There are dates I have circled on my calendar in the upcoming 40 days that will involve dining out, and I don’t want to cancel them.

I know many people who say that you don’t have to give something up for Lent – instead, you can make a vow to DO something instead.  For instance, I could simply take the Lenten coin box they offer us at church and follow the schedule for adding coins to it each day.  But I did that last year in conjunction with the giving up sugar, so isn’t that taking a step back this year if I only do the coin box?

I’m really stumped this year.  I’m just not sure what I’m going to do about it.

One idea that I keep coming back to is to just use the time period of Lent to really focus on getting back down to a weight I’m comfortable at.  I’ve been doing much better the past two weeks at eating healthy (aside from the hot chocolate), and of course I’ve never wavered from my workout schedule, but I’m not seeing the results I’d like to see.  I need to give it more focus and devotion. 

I’ve also been thinking a lot about McDonalds and how I haven’t eaten there for almost two years… sometimes my mouth waters when I think about Big Macs, and I thought if I was successful at reaching my goal weight again during Lent (I’d have to lose about 15 lbs), I’d reward myself with a visit to Mickey D’s.  I’m still not 100% sure if that’s what I’m going with, but it does seem to be the idea I’m leaning towards the most…

Have you given it any thought?  Do you give something up, or do something as a Lenten practice?  What are your plans for Lenten promises this year?

Wednesday Hodgepodge: On Love and other stuff

Having writer’s block these days, folks.  So might as well use some prompts to churn out a blog post on this frigidly bright Wednesday!  Here’s some Wednesday Hodgepodge!

1. Have you ever written a love letter? Have you written one recently? Had one written to you? Did you keep it?

Of course I’ve written love letters.  I’m a hopeless romantic.  Have been since I was a wee little girl.  I just don’t think I’ve ever actually delivered a love letter. ;)  I haven’t really written any recently, no.  And I don’t really recall ever receiving any, although I probably did when I was a kid.  There were, like, 3 boys in my elementary school class that I bounced around, surely to God ONE of them wrote me a love letter back in the day!

2. What’s a movie that ends in a way you especially love?

There are so many.  But because it’s fresh in my mind, I’m going with Cocktail.  I discovered a few weeks ago my DVD was missing, so I bought a new one (yes, it is one of my all-time favourites, I cannot exist without it in my collection), and then watched it right away.  It’s totally cheesey, but when Flanagan gets up on the bar and recites a poem to his unborn child, it melts my heart.  Fun fact:  when I was young, my sister had taped this movie on VHS from the TV, so the version I grew up watching was edited for TV, and also, the tape cut out right at the end when Jordan says to Brian, “Bet I can still spook you.”  I had no idea what she whispered in his ear, and my sister refused to tell me.  Took me years to find out just exactly how it ended. (I had my suspicions – it was pretty obvious – but I wasn’t sure until getting my hands on a real copy years later!)

3. Something that makes your heart sing? And for those of you who are parents, I mean something besides your children that makes your heart sing?

Snow!  Beautiful, falling, accumulating snow!!  Oh come on, dudes.  It’s still only February.  Too early for springtime.  Let it SNOW!!!  I love the smell in the air when it’s snowing.  I love the sound of snowplows waking me at 4:30 AM.  I love the crunch of it under my boots when I walk.  Nothing quite like a snow day… Snow makes my heart sing.

4. What’s the last event you had to attend, phone call you had to make, routine task you needed to complete, or meal you had to prepare, that you did do, but only half-heartedly?

I honestly can’t think of anything right now.  I hate talking on the phone, so pretty much any phone call I make is half-hearted.  Also, I’m the “social notes” writer, representing my town in our local paper (there are a handful of towns that the paper circulates to, and each has a correspondent that shares news, birthday wishes, etc.) – and there are weeks when I don’t want to be bothered with it, so some of my columns are written and submitted half-heartedly, I confess.

5. Tuna fish salad-yay or blech? If you said yay, how do you like your tuna salad prepared? Hey, this is the Hodgepodge, right?

Yay, but a mild yay.  I have to be in the mood for it.  Growing up, I was always an egg salad girl, but tuna was just about the only fishy thing I would eat for years.  I’m a big BLECH on salmon sandwiches, but I could handle tuna.  I like it with Hellman’s mayo, diced onion, celery, chopped up dill pickle, salt & pepper.  I like it on a whole wheat or multigrain bread.  And now, I’m realizing, I AM in the mood for it!

6. What’s something you ‘know by heart’?

In Flanders Fields by John McCrae.  I can’t think of anything else… I know there are song lyrics and other things, but right now, it’s that poem that comes to mind.  I always kind of amaze myself when I discover I can recite it without pause or fail every year on November 11th.  I guess they really drilled it into our brains at Remembrance Day ceremonies in school.  I’m proud of the fact that I can rattle it off as well as I can.  It’s an important poem.

7. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, what two or three word phrase would you write on a conversation heart for someone you love? That someone could be a spouse, child, parent, cousin, bestie…anyone at all whom you love.

“I Love Jimmy”.  OK, I stole this.  Jimmy posed this question to an audience member the other night, and when she replied “I Love Jimmy”, he rewarded her with a hug.  I thought she was pretty damned lucky.  Plus, all of my family and friends – even the kids – know about my Jimmy love, so they’d only think it appropriate, right? ;)

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I’m actually excited for Valentine’s Day this year.  This is big for me.  And no, I don’t have a hot date.  My sister’s kids are coming for a sleepover/movie night, and I truly do look forward to spending this time with them.  I have a plethora of ideas for fun things to do – go sliding!  make crafts!  eat pizza & V-day treats! bake cookies!  watch movies! – probably more than we can accomplish during one day/night – but I’m excited. 

The V-Day Conundrum

I’ve been thinking a lot about Valentine’s Day this week, as it looms in the not-so-far-off distance.

I know what you’re thinking.  “Why are you thinking about BARF Day, Jill?  You hate BARF Day.”

And that would be correct.  I really have hated it in the past.  Loathed it.  Most Love Days were spent lamenting the fact that I was single and alone.  One was spent at my dad’s funeral.  The day has just never held any warm-and-fuzzy connotations for me.  I used to try and rally my single friends to join me in an anti-V-day celebration, but let’s face it… I have no single friends left anymore.  It’s just me.

OK, it hasn’t always been that bad.  There have often been surprises – treats from my mom, or my friends – to lift my spirits.  Last year, it delighted me to no end to find that my friend Stacy’s kids, Maddy and Tanner, had left Kisses and pictures at my door for me.  And to be honest, I’ve always kind of enjoyed planning what I was going to do that day to “celebrate”.  I played up the fact that I was throwing a pity party for one, when in actuality, I relished the thought of watching my favourite movies  and treating myself to my favourite comfort foods.

This year, I can honestly say I’m actually looking forward to it.  This could, perhaps, be because of the revelation I’ve had  in the past six months, which is that I think I kind of want to be single.   I like doing what I want, when I want.  I like my routine.  I like living alone.  For the first time in a long time, I don’t find myself wishing for a man in my life.  I’m enjoying the freedom.  Imagining it being otherwise kinda almost makes me panicky.

So, by dropping the whole “I hate Valentine’s Day and all the stupid people in love” attitude, I can now look at it as a FUN occasion again, like I did in elementary school.

The problem is this:  Ideas keep swirling through my head on how to celebrate, and I just can’t DECIDE!!!  Because it’s on a Saturday, I know I have a whole day to fill, and the options are endless!!!

• Because going to the movies is one of my favourite things to do, the obvious choice is to take myself to see 50 Shades of Grey, which will be debuting in theatres next weekend.  However, I have the feeling the theatres will be packed – with both armies of single girls and sappy lovey dovey couples – so I think I’d rather wait a few weeks til the hype dies down.  Besides, who needs a theatre full of people judging someone who is there ALONE on Valentine’s Day.  And their giant extra-buttery popcorn.

• I’ve thought several times that I should take my mom out for dinner.  Somewhere nice, a place we don’t normally go to, as a special treat. But again, every Tom, Dick & Harry will be out for dinner that night.  We don’t need to get tied up in those masses.  (And also, don’t need those judgers again - “It looks like she’s on a date with her mom??”)
• So maybe a nice dinner at home then?  Something fun and special, like lasagna or homemade pizza?
• Back to the movies – as we have well established, I love watching movies.  So of course, getting some yummy treats and settling in for a movie marathon sounds fabulous to me.  I’ve contemplated re-watching the entire Twilight series – spending V-day with Edward? Not too shabby, eh? – but I’m not convinced that’s really what I want to do… I’ve also thought of watching some of my favourite old-school flicks, like I did around this time last year.  Funny and cheesey… maybe just what the doctor ordered for a single girl on V-day?

• Of course, getting a little taste of Jimmy is a MUST!  I could go back and revisit some of my favourite episodes of The Tonight Show that I have saved on my PVR, or maybe even watch Fever Pitch (again)…

• Another idea I’ve had is this:  I’ve been wanting to have my niece and nephew for a sleepover sometime soon, and maybe this would be a fun opportunity to throw a little Valentine’s Day party for them, while giving my sister and BIL a chance to go out sans les enfants?  Maybe take them sliding?  Have a fun supper?  Get them some sweet V-day treats?  And of course, watching movies?  An extra-special sleepover at Jilly’s?  I honestly think this might be my favourite plan of all – but it will all depend on whether or not the kids are free.  Knowing my luck, they already have plans.

So, what do you think a single girl (who has decided that maybe she LIKES being single) should do to celebrate V-day?  Have you made plans?  If so, what are you & your loved ones doing to mark the occasion?

What I’m Loving Wednesday!

Good morning, folks!  Thought I’d pop in for a few minutes this morning to share some of my LOVES this Wednesday :)  I think some of them might be repeats from recent What I’m Loving Wednesday Posts, but as we established yesterday, my life has been pretty same-ol’, same-ol’ lately (just the way I like it).

• I love that it’s snowing.  Seriously, not much brings me more joy than watching pretty white flakes falling outside my window.  Snow is definitely my *thing*.  Bring it on.
• I’m loving that I finally got some organizing done in the “junk room” at my place.  I had it completely cleaned up for the Christmas House Tour, but when the decorations came down, they all just got tossed in there and it became a disaster once again.  I finally bought a few big bins and took a couple of hours to sort through it all, box it up, and put it in storage.  I can be quite a little procrastinator when I want to be, so taking this one giant step AWAY from being on the next episode of Hoarders was a huge relief.
• Potato Leek Soup.  I’m a little bit obsessed with it these days.  Especially the pot I made on Monday…it turned out exceptionally yummy.  Also, I can trick myself into believing I’m eating poutine.  I take a pita cracker, put a small piece of cheese on it, and dip it in the soup.  For someone who hasn’t eaten poutine in over two years, the combination of flavours is divine.

• I love hot chocolate.  It’s totally my gig right now.

• Also, Matthew Gray Gubler.  And Jimmy Fallon.  Love them both.  But everyone already knows that.

 

• Jimmy has taken The Tonight Show on the road to LA this week, and I have to say, he’s been firing on all cylinders thus far.  My Facebook newsfeed is jammed with friends sharing clips of the highlights each day.  There was a time when I was  one of a select few who shared Jimmy vids on Facebook… I’m kinda loving that everyone is now doing it for me. ;)

• Something I have NOT been loving is that my Cocktail DVD disappeared into thin air.  I discovered several weeks ago that it was missing from my collection, and I’ve spent too much time searching for it and wracking my brain trying to think of who might’ve borrowed it.  I honestly can’t think of anyone who would’ve wanted it.  In any case, I searched for it on Amazon yesterday, found it, and it should be in my hands in the near future.  Cocktail Crisis: Averted.

So… what are YOU loving this Wednesday??

Tuesday Randoms

A quickie random post to prove that I’m alive!

• Possibly the biggest sign yet that I am officially a grown-up:  I got terribly excited yesterday about buying a new vacuum.  Like, got it home, out of the box, and vacuumed instantly.

• Criminal Minds.  I’m still terribly obsessed, and I’m very quickly running out of episodes.  Also, I’m madly in love with Matthew Gray Gubler right now.  It terrifies me to think of the fast-approaching day when the PVR no longer holds any episodes for me to watch…

• I watch little else it seems these days.  I have movies and other PVR’d things, but I seem to gravitate to the Criminal Minds eps only.  Well, that and Jimmy Fallon, of course, but my mom says if I write about Jimmy Fallon any more, she’s going to boycott the blog.
• It’s still so damned cold out.  I’m so totally over it.  I still love the snow, but the cold has worn out its welcome.
• I admit that I’m terribly dry on blog post ideas these days – hence, the reason it was so easy for me to just not write anything last week.  There was nothing interesting for me to share, other than it was cold, and I made soup, and I watched Criminal Minds, and I finished a puzzle… Even Jimmy was off last week.
• But he’s back this week!!

• I’m afraid this week is shaping up to be equally bland, as evidenced by this post thus far, as I attempt to wax poetic about vacuums and the weather and my love for Dr. Spencer Reid…  Just go watch the lip sync battle again.  At least it’s entertaining.
• Oh, here’s a thing:  I’ve declared yet another “Healthy” Month – and this time, it’s “Healthy February”.  I never got back on the wagon in January, sadly, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to remember what life was like back when I used to eat healthy.  I’ve been weighing what’s more important to me:  Eating foods that I love but are bad for me, or fitting into the clothes I worked damn hard to fit into.  At this point, I’m torn.  I hate the thoughts of giving up my junk, but I could almost cry when I put on clothing that clearly no longer fits me.  I need to give this healthy thing another fair shot.  I owe it to myself.
• I’m easily annoyed today.  The littlest things are driving me nuts.  And it just dawned on me that this probably goes hand-in-hand with my return to healthy eating.  It will take a few days for me to get over feeling sorry for myself and realize that I’m feeling a million times better.  Until then… I’ll be a bit of a bitch.  Just a heads up.

That’s all I’ve got for this Random Tuesday… Have a good one, dudes!

Thoughts on Thursday

It’s Thursday.  Which means that technically, it’s my Friday.  Which means that technically, it’s my favourite day of the week.  Woo hoo!!  Let the weekend BEGIN!

But first…some randomish Thursday thoughts…

• My boy band du jour is One Direction.  OK, so I guess they are everyone’s boy band du jour.  But really, I adore OneD.  I don’t even know their names (as evidenced by Jimmy Fallon playing this game the other night on his show – Jimmy knew ‘em all, I was done after Harry) – but I downloaded their latest album “Four” last week, and it’s soooo goooood.  PS – I may never grow up.

• Speaking of boy bands… you know, I’ve always had a soft spot for ‘em.  But one boy band that I never got into was The Jonas Brothers.  I couldn’t tell you one song of theirs.  I knew they were crazy-popular for a while, but they just weren’t on my radar at all.  Didn’t even think they were handsome. So, it was a bit of a surprise to me when Nick Jonas cropped up with his solo career, lookin’ all sexy-shmexy, and hooked me with “Jealous”.  That’s my jam.  I especially loved the performance he did with the contestants on The Voice last year, what he calls the “Gospel” version. LOVE!

• There hasn’t been a whole lot good going on for Sens fans this season.  To be honest, I’ve been so disenchanted by my team since Alfie left that I don’t even watch them all that often anymore.  They’re still my team, but my enthusiasm for them is lacklustre at best.  But you know what can brighten any cold January day?  Beating the Leafs.  It doesn’t happen often, so I love when it does!

• Our church’s Soup & Sandwich lunch is starting up again for the winter months, with the first one being held next Wednesday.  I signed up to make Potato Leek soup, which means I get to do one of my absolute favourite things some time this weekend, and that’s make soup!  The sad part about making soup for Soup & Sandwich is that I don’t get to dive into it right away… that’s hard for me to do.

• I’m now on DAY 3 of healthy eating, feeling much better, but knowing I still have a long way to go to get back to pre-Christmas weight.  Some days, the struggle is exhausting.  I’m currently going through the “My life is no fair” stage, where I lament the fact that even though I work out five days a week, I still have to be SO SO careful with what I eat or it’s all for naught.  I’m gazing longingly back at those blissful weeks over the holidays when I ate whatever I wanted.  I know I’ll get past this stage, but right now… I’m hating how it is for me and food.
• Oh, hallelujah, I FINALLY FINISHED THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST!!  Only took me  a year or so. I can finally shelve it and move on with my life!!!  Next up is another book club selection, Ransom Riggs’ “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children”.  I’m only a few chapters in, and I’m already enjoying it.  It’s different, but in a good way.

OK, so I really don’t have a whole lot going on these days.  Which I’m kind of  enjoying.  January might feel like it lasts forever, but I like the slower pace and the hibernating.  I’m already looking forward to another weekend of it. ;)

Blue Tuesday, Better Wednesday

I saw on Twitter on Monday that it was considered to be the most depressing day of the year.  Blue Monday, they called it.  A combination of fading holiday warm-n-fuzzies, failed New Year’s resolutions, and super-cold weather all gang up on the poor people of the world and aim to make us sad.

I have to admit, I didn’t really fall victim to Blue Monday.  I didn’t get that dreamy snow day I had been planning on (mainly because it DIDN’T SNOW dammit), but it wasn’t a bad day.  I was off, of course, so I got to sleep in a little, got lots of reading done, watched that blast from the past “Three Men & A Baby” (and loved it just as much!), made a giant pot of spaghetti sauce and invited my ma over for supper… It just wasn’t a “Blue Monday” for me.  Not in the least.

But then Tuesday came.  The day started off with me realizing my “fat” pants are too tight on me now.  Just lovely.  After getting ready for work, I stopped in to have breakfast with my mom, as usual; however, our conversation seemed to circle around sad topics, which left me wondering why the hell I’d even bothered putting on make-up that morning.  I mean, I even cried over the death of my aunt & uncle’s dog. (RIP Rocky…) 

When I checked my calendar after arriving at work, it dawned on me that it was the anniversary of a friend’s passing, and from then on, I just chalked ‘er all up to just a sad day in general.  I felt extra-sensitive at work, like I was on the verge of tears, and had a hard time controlling it all.  Then I had a small altercation with a co-worker in the afternoon that bothered me more than it should have.  I was so done with this day.

I went for a brisk and frigid walk when I got home to blow off some steam, and then settled in for a quiet evening. I ate a healthy supper (because yesterday was DAY 1 of trying to get back on track – AGAIN), worked on my puzzle, read for a bit, and then fell asleep on the couch watching TV.  Big mistake, because when I finally moved up to bed around 10:30, I could NOT for the LIFE of me fall asleep.  I tossed and turned and read some more and who knows when I finally drifted off… I usually fall asleep fast and hard, so I was NOT impressed.

Blue Tuesday.  It was one for the books.

I’m not one to wallow in self-pity for long though, thank goodness.  My first thought when I woke up this morning was “It’s a new day”, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I actually woke feeling better than I anticipated, considering the tossing and turning and sleeplessness during the night, and I dragged my butt from my warm cocoon earlier than I have in a long time.  I also noted that physically I felt better than I have in weeks.  I didn’t feel bloated and sore and creaky.  I’ll chalk that up to a good solid day of healthy eating & some exercise.  I even took the time to straighten my hair, which has pretty much been a non-existent activity since Christmas.  Because it just takes so much more effort.

This morning, I felt like I need to make that extra effort.  To make myself feel good.  To feel better.  I stepped out into the extremely cold morning, and instead of grumbling about it, I felt grateful for the bright sunshine and beautiful glittering snow.  I walked away from Blue Tuesday and vowed to not let it creep back into my day again.

I guess the point in all this is… Bad days happen.  We all go through slumps. Get ourselves into ruts.  We can do our best to try and fight it, but sometimes, the bad days get the best of us.   And that’s OK.

Because each day is a clean slate.  A fresh start.  A new bright and shiny morning.  A chance to kick that Blue Tuesday to the curb and get back at it again.

I’m ever so thankful for that.

Let’s Hibernate

It’s that time of year.  The time of year when I just want to sink deep down inside my cocoon.  Surround myself with warmth and cozy-ness.  It’s the time of year when every inch of me just wants to hibernate.

I’m trying hard to fight it this year.  I’ve been planning outings and activities and trying to keep myself from shrinking within the confines of my home for the next three months.  If I don’t force myself outside of my cave, I find that when the spring finally rolls around, I almost resent it.  I enjoy these quiet, cozy winter months more than the average bear.  I like the slower pace.  I like the extra “me time”. 

So yes, I have been making myself get out of the house.  But still, I relish the thought of hunkering down for a few days and just… hibernating.  And if the long-range weather report is to be believed, it looks like I’m going to have a nice little snow storm to hunker down in coming up on Monday.

That delights me.  Way more than it should.

So if Monday does indeed turn into a “snow day”, what would I like to be doing?

• For one thing, I wouldn’t be rushing to get out of bed.  I hate waking to an alarm, but usually I keep it set, even on my days off, so that I don’t get used to lazing around in bed.  Makes it easier to get up on the days that I DO have to.  I might just cancel that alarm for Monday, though…
• Having an extra cup of coffee.  “One cup a day” is my rule, except for Sundays (I have one before church, and one after when we go out for brunch).  I will for-go that rule on a snow day, though.

• Watching Retro Toons!  Not for long, but the kid at heart inside of me still enjoys starting off the morning with some cartoons.  I love the Teletoon Retro channel, because it allows me to watch many of the ones I grew up loving.

• I’m not a “stay in the jammies all day” kind of girl.  Never have been, never will be.  So by mid-morning at the latest, I’ll be ready to get showered and dressed.  However, I can guarantee that I’ll be dressing cozy!  Leggings or yoga pants, oversized comfy sweater, fuzzy socks… perfect lounging attire!
• I’ll be eating comfort food.  When I was a kid, my absolute favourite lunch was macaroni, tomato soup, and cheez whiz.  I don’t make it very often anymore, but for some reason, I do associate it with cold and snow.  I might just whip some up for lunch on Monday! (don’t worry, I’ll make sure I have my Shakeology for breakfast!)
• Working on a puzzle.  It’s become one of my favourite winter pastimes in recent years.  I love to start a puzzle after Christmas, then leisurely work on it during the winter months.  The one I started this year hasn’t gotten very far, but I look forward to having downtime to work on it.

• Putting on a pot of soup or chili or pasta sauce… I haven’t quite decided which yet, but I’ll be picking up groceries tomorrow and that will dictate which I end up making.  There’s just something about being holed up inside while the snow falls, and having the delicious smell of something simmering on the stove… it totally adds to the atmosphere.

• Watching movies.  For whatever reason, this is the time of year that I yearn to watch “old school movies”.  And I have a list of favourites that I could potentially watch.  #1 on my list, though, is Three Men and a Baby, which is new to my collection and I can’t wait to watch it.  It’s been a long time!

• Making popcorn and hot chocolate.  They just go hand-in-hand with a cozy day inside watching movies.

• Oh, I can’t just spend a whole day bumming around, can I?  I’ll do laundry.  Monday is always laundry day.  Come hell or high water.  Or snow.
• Maybe bake something? I’m trying to get my ass back on track (pretty unsuccessfully so far, though), so this might be one thing that I don’t do, but it is the time of year when I want to make bread or muffins or cookies.  We’ll see… Maybe I can finally teach myself to keep a few for myself and give the rest away. (ha!  yeah right!)
• Reading.  I’m on a literary mission, and that is to finish The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.  I started reading it over a year ago, after enjoying the first two novels in the trilogy, but just couldn’t seem to get into this one.  I ended up abandoning it about half-way through, but I very rarely walk away from a book, even if I’m not liking it.  I feel like I have to get through it.  And I have promised myself that I’m not picking up another book until I finish this one, at long last.

• Staring out the window.  It’s no secret that I love snow.  So if the white flakes are falling, you’ll find me peering through the blinds at any given time, mesmerized by their beauty and soaking up a winter wonderland scene.

I’m an expert hibernator. I can’t wait!  Let it SNOW!!!

Wednesday Loves!

Happy Hump Day, pals!

It’s still cold.  Like, really really cold.  Which I sorta don’t mind, as long as I don’t have to go out in it.  Unfortunately, there’s this little thing called work, and thus I’m forced out the door into these frigid temps.  (I know, only 3 days a week for me this time of year, so I can’t complain!  I can hear you, Stace! LOL)

Anyways… between the cold, and going through a bit of a January slump (the post-holiday let-down is trying to get me) – I decided to cheer myself up this morning by thinking of the things I’m loving right now.  Here we go!

• I’m currently loving unflavoured coffee, with just a splash of milk.  This is a new thing for me.  I mean, I’ve loved coffee for a long time, but I’ve always been the flavoured coffee lover.  Any new flavour that came along, I wanted to try, and considered my favourites anything with Hazlenut or French Vanilla.  I let go of sugar and sweeteners last year, but the fact that I now just want a good strong cup of plain ol’ coffee is weird.  But that’s what I’m loving.  Specifically, the McDonalds k-cups.

• In keeping with hot beverages… I’m also loving sipping on a giant mug of hot chocolate, either in the afternoon at my desk, or in the evenings while watching TV.  (sometimes both!)

• I’m loving my new thermal socks.  Yes, these days, I’m all about keeping warm, and my new thermal socks are helping big time!  They are so thick and cozy.  Like walking on pillows.

• I LOVE the book I’m reading!  It’s our next book club selection, Emily Giffin’s new one, “The One & Only”, which my brother-in-law gave to me for Christmas.  I started reading it late last week and I’m almost done it.  It’s been a long time since I’ve stayed up way past my bedtime because I can’t stop reading, but this book is doing that to me.  “Just one more chapter…”

• I totally love my new chocolate-brown, warm, luxurious throw from Chapters that my Aunt Marion gave me for Christmas.  It goes perfectly with the new decor in my room, and I’ve been enjoying wrapping up in it at night while I read in bed.

• You know who I adore?  Penelope Garcia.  OK, so we all know that I’ve been watching too much Criminal Minds lately, but I’ve decided I want to be more like Garcia.  (and if that’s the main thing that has rubbed off on me from watching too much Criminal Minds, then we should all be grateful.) Not only do I want to be more efficient and on the ball like she is, but also just more… colourful and happy!  I want to go buy colourful pens and sticky notes and note pads and stickers and spruce up my workspace to make it a more cheerful and fun place to sit all day.  And I want to start painting my nails funky colours and wearing fun earrings regularly again.  I just want to be bright & shiny, like her!

• I love my GT jeggings.  I bought them last Friday, and I wore them all weekend.  The LOOK of jeans, with the COMFORT of leggings.  The creator of jeggings is a genius.  And I don’t care if they were $12 jeggings from GT.  I love them.

• As I’ve been making my way through Season 7 of The Big Bang Theory, I’ve been reminded of just how much I love Sheldon.  One of my stranger loves, yes, but I do.  I love Sheldon.

• I LOVE planning what I want to make in the kitchen on my Mondays & Fridays off!  I haven’t really had a chance to get at it yet, but I have visions of giant pots of soup and chili and spaghetti sauce and homemade bread… YUM!!
• Ed Sheeran.  Oh, how I love Ed Sheeran.  And I know I’ve already talked about it recently, but this song?  I could listen to it over and over.  It totally makes my day.

So… what are YOU loving this Wednesday? :)

Everybody, let’s ROCK!

Some randomish thoughts for this frigid Thursday morn…

• I’m sitting here at my desk listening to Elvis singing “Jailhouse Rock”.  Today, The King would have been 80 years old.  I’m celebrating by listening to the Essential Elvis playlist on my Spotify web player.  And I might watch one of my Elvis movies tonight in his honour.

• Spotify = my favourite discovery of the week.  I’ve heard other bloggers talking about it forever, but never bothered looking into it. Until now. It’s been a quiet, lonely week in the office for me, but that allows me to turn on my computer speakers and work with music playing.  Spotify has been my saving grace.
• Especially today. Elvis Day.

• Do you have a favourite Elvis movie?  Mine has always been Blue Hawaii – my mom introduced it to me at a young age, and it just never gets old for me.  It is the main reason I want to visit Hawaii someday.  (Would I be so lucky as to have a tour guide as handsome as Chad Gates?!?)  However, Mom and I watched it over the holidays, so I’ll likely select a different one from my collection to watch tonight – or perhaps one of his concert specials.

• If I DO watch an Elvis flick tonight, it would be a departure from the norm for me as of late.  Remember last Christmas, when I got hooked on a Criminal Minds marathon that Bravo was showing?  Well, of course I couldn’t watch them all, but I PVR’d the ones I didn’t get to see – literally hours and hours of Criminal Minds - and I’ve been slowly working my way through them during and since this past holiday season.  It’s amazing how addicted I can get to a show.  If I didn’t watch any CM tonight, it would be the first time I hadn’t since Dec. 27th.

• Ah, Dec. 27th.  That was the day I came down with a cold.  A cold that I fought hard, but eventually succumbed to.  It wasn’t a terrible cold that kept me down much – all in the head, lots of sinus congestion and pain, but otherwise felt fine – however, it has definitely been the worst cold I’ve had in over 2 years.  I was starting to think I was immune to sickness.  Apparently not.  It’s still clinging to me, over 2 weeks later.
• Do you guys know what the worst part about the holidays was?  No Jimmy.  Jimmy Fallon went on holidays, too, of course, and I missed him dearly.  It’s been so good to have him back this week.  And this segment with Nicole Kidman might be one of my favourites ever.  He is just so darn cute!

• Oh, and the other worst part about the holidays?  Over-eating.  I know, I know.  When will Jill ever LEARN?!  But my God, the holiday treats are soooo gooood. I packed on a good 10 lbs at least (I have not weighed myself in weeks, I can just tell by how my clothes are fitting.  And the fact that I ripped the ass out of my PJ pants on Monday.)
• I was supposed to get back on track this week, but it’s been difficult.  I keep getting tempted by the lingering remnants of holiday delicacies… I’m contemplating doing a 7-Day Cleanse Diet next week (the one that goes with that old cabbage soup recipe) – I need to do a “re-set” and get myself back in the zone again.  Once I’m in the zone, I know I’ll be fine, but I have to get there first…
• Have I mentioned how frickin’ cold it is here these days?  SO.COLD.  I love Winter – really, I do – but I’m good with normal cold.  Like, –10 would suffice.  It was –40 this morning with the windchill.  TOO.COLD.  So cold that my garage door opener wouldn’t work and I had to yank the door open manually.  ugh.  #firstworldproblems
• One last thing before I close – I know today is Elvis Day, but I can’t get enough of Ed Sheeran’s new song, “Thinking Out Loud”.  I could listen to it over and over.  Definitely my current favourite song!

Happy Thursday, gang!!

The Holiday Post

Happy 2015, Pals!

OK, so I guess the fact that it’s a new year is kind of old news by now.  But we all know it takes me a little while to get back into the swing of things.  I can’t start blogging in the New Year without a little holiday recap, though, so here it is!

Christmas was wonderful (even though it ended up being GREEN! ugh!!)  Christmas Eve was a little quieter than we were used to, what with a change in traditions for our family, but I was still surrounded by loved ones, still sang “Silent Night” by candlelight at church with magic and anticipation swirling all around me, still ate bacon-wrapped water chestnuts (I love you, Donna K!!) amongst other wonderful treats, and it was all good.  It was more than good.  It was… Christmas.

Danica & Kara in their Christmas Eve finest!

My three favourites – Danica, Caden & Neve (next Christmas, there will be FOUR in this picture!!  So excited!!)

Christmas morning was full of excitement, as Caden and Danica rolled out of their beds shortly after 7 AM, and giddy Auntie Jilly was already up and waiting on the couch for them!  The magic of Santa is still alive and well for these two… It was so much fun to see how excited & surprised they were by the pile of gifts beneath the tree.  We STILL can’t figure out how the big lad gets this done, with me sleeping on the couch only a few feet away – and I never hear him!!

 

A Christmas morning PJ selfie!

Caden & Danica with the gifts I gave them – he got the board game Labyrinth, and she got an Olaf cuddle pillow :)  (Olaf was a regular fixture at Dan’s side over the holidays.  When they slept over at my house, I gave them cheesies, and then told her Olaf should sit somewhere else.  She gave a big sigh and said, “Nobody ever lets me eat with Olaf.”)

Dan and her new puppy, who she does not want to put batteries in. Go figure.

After a delicious breakfast of sticky buns and gift opening, Kara, Chris and the kids went to the Provosts’, while Mom and I tidied up from the Christmas morning storm, then relaxed for a bit.  We headed to the Provosts’ as well closer to dinner time, and we were so thankful to them for opening their doors and inviting us to join them.  We had a wonderful time, and returned home stuffed and ready for bed!

On Boxing Day, Luke, Amanda, and Neve joined us at Mom’s again, and of course there were MORE gifts, and another fabulous turkey dinner!

I love Nevie’s expression of pure wonder and joy in this photo.  For the record, she doesn’t even know what she just pulled out of her stocking.  Daddy said, “I think it’s candy.”  Jilly said, “It’s stuff to turn the bath water colours.  Please don’t feed them to her.”

The Boys

 

Another favourite – I took about 20 selfies with Neve and she wouldn’t look at the camera.  She’d say cheese, but then I’d glance at the pic and see she wasn’t looking.  It wasn’t until closer inspection that I realized she was admiring my earrings. lol!

The Boxing Day Mini Light Mission:  Luke discovered on Christmas Eve that half of Mom’s lights on her tree weren’t working (how the rest of us never noticed, I do not know.)  They were brand new, so she was not impressed.  On Boxing Day, Luke & Chris were determined to find the faulty bulb, and spent forever checking each of them.  They never did find it, either.

Another Christmas tradition:  Riced potatoes!  Mom always tries to talk me out of it - “We can just mash them, can’t we?”  Um… NO.  Get out the damn ricer!!!  (I thought everyone knew about riced potatioes, but this photo sparked interest on FB – some people had never heard of riced potatoes, others declared their love for them, and it even inspired on of my FB friends to dig out her ricer for the first time and try them.  Have you ever had riced potatoes?!)

Post-turkey – Chris, Kara, Neve, and Danica

The beautiful, glowing momma-to-be Amanda… and Luke

^ This is what happens when you ask a six-year-old to take your picture…

It just isn’t Christmas without a few Cracker Crowns!

Pure Christmas magic, I tell you.  Pure Christmas magic.

The holidays were full of wonderful moments.  My Secret Santa this year was my brother-in-law Chris, and a terrific Secret Santa he was – I received The Big Bang Theory Season 7 on DVD, the new Emily Giffin novel “The One & Only”, a food processor, and a new travel mug – as well as a stocking stuffed with essentials and treats (plus lots and lots of deodorant… apparently I stink.)  My mom gifted each of us a homemade afghan, though mine is still “a work in progress” – but I absolutely love it and can’t wait to be able to bring it home!  I also received a lovely bottle of perfume from the kids.  And Caden once again charmed us with his thoughtfulness, as he made each of us a bracelet with his Rainbow Loom.  (I think Danica’s reaction to finding one in her stocking was the best.  Apparently she knew what he’d been working on, and he told her she wasn’t getting one.  When she found hers, her mouth dropped open.  “Caden!  You DID make me one!!”)

I had the kids for a sleepover one night, and we went to see Annie at the theater.  Mom and I also took them skating, since friends of ours had rented the ice for an hour and invited us to come.  On New Year’s Eve, we once again enjoyed a spread of yummy snacks while we rang in 2015 and celebrated my sister’s birthday.  New Year’s Day was more celebrating, with one of my favourite meals: Tourtiere, ham, hashbrown casserole, homemade baked beans, coleslaw, and buns… mmmmm!!!  Instead of birthday cake, Mom made Kara a Black Forest Trifle (or “rifle”, as Caden called it), and it was delicious too.

I so enjoyed the sleeping in, and the treats and chocolates, the naps, the movies, the binge-watching TV (yes, Criminal Minds, again)…

And now, it’s 2015.

Of course, my return to work yesterday coincided with our first deep-freeze of the winter, and there’s even an Extreme Cold Warning today.  Brrrrr.  But at least it snowed again on the weekend, so things are pretty again.

Cheers, everyone! :)