Random Tuesday Thoughts

Good morning, folks.  How about some randoms on the dreary Tuesday?

• I’m exactly one week away from 32.  ugh.  There is nothing cool about 32.  Especially not when you’re in the stage of the game that I’m in.  The single and child-less stage.  This is the stage when people really start telling you you’re kind of too old to be “waiting”.  Waiting for the right guy, waiting for the right time to have children… But wait I must.  Ugh.  Stupid 32.
• I say “stupid 32”, and yet I’m a firm believer that age is just a number, and having a birthday is better than not having a birthday, so… whatever.  Bring it, 32.  Just bring it.
• On to happier things… I may be a week from 32, but I’m also LESS than a week from holiday time!  Only a few more days, in fact!  Woo hoo!

 

• Getting up early in the morning to work out is so much easier when there’s something to be excited about.  For instance, this week, my alarm goes off at 5:40, and I lie there feeling pissed off for a few seconds – how dare you go off, alarm… how dare you! – but then I remember.  Ah.  Only a few more days until vacation.  And then I hop out of bed as if it were Christmas morning.  (well, not quite… but almost)
• It has definitely reached that point in the summer when I’m craving down time… time away from the office, time away from the daily grind and routine.  It happens every summer. That little break becomes very important.
• I can’t wait to be at the camp.  To look out at the river, relax with a book in my lap and a drink in my hand, to take a deep breath and soak up the peace and tranquility.  (as much peace and tranquility as one can find with a 9-year-old and 6-year-old running around, of course.)

• I also can’t wait for camp food.  I know, I know… I’m supposed to be concentrating on NOT eating everything in sight, and working on making sure I still fit into those bridesmaid dresses… and yet I find myself fantasizing about camp food.  There’s just something so delicious about it, I can’t even explain it.  Corn on the cob, burgers and dogs, chips and treats, s’mores, Jiffy pop… mmmm… I can’t wait.

• You know what else I can’t wait for at the camp?  NO air conditioning.  The office is exceptionally cold today. brrrrr.  I know I’ll be dying to be back in the luxurious AC after a few days there (it can get uncomfortable sleeping at night, especially), but right now I’m anxious for warmth & heat.
• Trying to find something else to talk about… Oh! I was a little bit sad to hear the Blake & Miranda split news yesterday.  Not entirely shocked, but… still, a bit sad.  I’m a fan of both of them, and thought they were a spunky fun couple.

• A chunk of my vacation will be at the camp, but I’m also looking forward to other things when we come back – maybe going to the movies, maybe a supper or two out, a pool party with friends, hopefully a bit of shopping… I’m so looking forward to whatever the week brings.
• I also love kicking off my vacation with the annual company golf tournament.  It has coincided nicely with my holidays for the past several years… getting to leave early Friday afternoon to head to Mickey Creek for a few drinks and a yummy meal, listen to the guys from work jam with their guitars, banjos, fiddles, mandolins… it’s always a good time, and puts me in a celebratory mood.

Ready to get this vacation rollin’… can ya tell? ;)

Simple Summer Pleasures

As you can probably tell from my blog posts since returning from hiatus, I’m digging summer right now.  Digging summer hard.  

And yet, when I let my mind wander too far into the future, it happens… I start to crave fall.  I know.  RIDICULOUS.  But I really am a fall & winter girl at heart, so I can’t help myself from daydreaming about cozy sweaters and scarves, pots of hearty soup and chili, crunching coloured leaves and bright orange pumpkins.

So yeah… I kind of have to snap myself back.  Remind myself to live in the present, and enjoy this season instead of wishing for the next.

And for that reason, this morning I’ve been thinking of the simple summer pleasures.  The little things about these hot dog days that I adore.  And here they are, in no particular order:

• Light suppers.  The days have come when it’s generally too hot to turn on the stove, and my appetite is (believe it or not) less than normal.  For that reason, my suppertime selections have been pretty basic.  Those toasted tomato sandwiches I so adore this time of year, usually with just a side of veggies and dip, a few pieces of cheese, and maybe a pickle.  And then usually just a small dish of fruit – strawberries or watermelon – to satisfy my sweet tooth.  These light suppers remind me of being a kid, having lunch on Grandma’s summer porch.  I’ve been thoroughly enjoying them.

• The song “Cheerleader” by OMI.  I feel like I “discovered” this song before anyone else, because I was groovin’ to it during the cold winter days when I was alone in the office a lot of the time and listening to Spotify.  It does now seem to have become a hit, a song that I believe will define Summer 2015.  And months later, I still like it, so that’s saying something.

• Working out in daylight.  This goes both ways – morning and night.  I’ve finally taught myself to get up earlier in the mornings and work out before getting ready for the day, and I admit that waking up at 5:45 AM is much easier when the sky is already bright and the sun is rising.  It’s also nice to take an evening walk at 8 PM, knowing full well that the daylight isn’t going to fade for a while yet.  Working out in the winter will be tougher… dragging my butt out of bed in the cold darkness… I’m already dreading that part.
• Big Brother.  Oh, I know, it’s trash TV at its worst, but I’ve been a Big Brother fan for years, and it is definitely something I look forward to every summer.  I admit that so far, this summer’s cast isn’t doing it for me the way last year’s was (I miss Derrick…and Cody…and Caleb… and even Frankie!) – but BB is just part of my summer routine, and I’m so glad it’s back!

• Banana-flavoured Popsicles and Ice Cream Cones.  I confess that I haven’t enjoyed this summery treats as much as I’d like to so far, but they just scream SUMMER to me.  I may just go down to the store for a banana-flavoured popsicle tonight!

• Tanning.  My mom has been scolding me for sitting in the sun too much, but as far as I’m concerned, the sunblock is there for a reason.  I’ve been working on my tan, always under the protection of a hat and a low-UV sunscreen.  The hope is that I’m getting lightly tanned while not getting skin cancer… (I did enough burning in my younger days, I figure if I’m going to get it, the damage is already done.)
• The smell of chipstand.  This one is both a blessing and a curse.  I live just up the road from our town’s beloved little grease factory, and sometimes, if the wind’s blowing right, I can smell it from my own front yard.  If not, I definitely get a whiff when I’m out for my walk, and it could literally make me drool.  I really do associate the smell of fries and burger’s from Mae’s as a smell of the summer.

• Lemonade.  Again, not something I’ve had a ton of so far this summer, but I think I’m going to buy some the next time I’m at the grocery store.  I’m craving this little taste of summer.

• Sunday evening movies. Okay, it’s true, I love watching movies, and I do it all year long.  But there’s just something so summery about a Sunday evening movie to wind down the weekend and relax before kicking off another work week.  I’ve been working my way through all the “summery” movies on my shelf and it’s become one of my favourite nights of the week.

So tell me, what are your simple summer pleasures?

What I’m Loving Wednesday

It’s a peach of a day out there today!  Perfect day to take a quick look around, take stock, and share what’s making me smile today :)

• I’m loving summertime!  We’ve had some nice hot weather here over the past week.  Last night some storms and rain blew through, clearing the air a bit, and today is just gorgeous.  Bright sun, blue skies, nice breeze… I love the hot days, but these “cooler” days are also a nice part of summer around here.  I can’t wait to go for my walk at lunchtime.

• Lovin’ that Sarah’s wedding is now only a month away… and Sue’s is just over two months away!  Crazy how these months have been flying by… I’m excited for the fun times ahead celebrating the marriages of two of my dear friends!  Dress alterations are tonight (fingers crossed that they fit!!!), Sue & Adam’s Mixed Party is this weekend… we’re rollin’ on full-steam-ahead to wedding time!!!
• I’m in love with the fact that I have some holidays to look forward to in the near future.  I’m now less than 2 weeks away from my week off, when some of my famjam and I will hopefully be heading to our “home away from home” at the Draper Camp for a few days, and I also hope to take the kids to the movies one day, maybe do a little shopping, perhaps a little daytrip with my Momma, and enjoying some downtime with friends at a pool party.  Then, later on in September, I’ll be heading to Nova Scotia with one of my besties Lindsay for a long weekend trip.  It will be my first time travelling East (or travelling ANYwhere lately!!), and I’m SO excited.
• I’m loving Jimmy Fallon!!  My poor babe, he hurt his hand really badly a few weeks ago (almost lost his left-hand ring finger, actually) and spent 10 days in ICU.  This is his first week back to the Tonight Show post-injury, and I was so happy to see his handsome smiling face on my TV again.  Ohhhh how I love me some Jimmy.  I missed him.

• Oh, and I also LOVE Ed Sheeran.  His new song “Photograph”? Love it.  LOVE IT.  I think I love it even more than I loved “Thinking Out Loud”.  And I didn’t think that was possible.  Seriously, though, how cute is Baby Ed?!?!

• Mmmmm… I’m loving toasted tomato sandwiches.  I hit this stage every summer, where all I want is toasted tomato sandwiches, for breakfast, lunch and supper.  I daydream about them.  Eventually, I’ll get sick of them, but so far, they are my summer food du jour.
• Reading on the back deck.  Yes, I love doing that.  And I’m super-loving the fact that I’m now reading the THIRD book in a row that I can’t put down.  This, like, never happens.  I started The Girl on The Train by Paula Hawkins last Friday, and if I get time to read tonight, I will be done it, I’m almost certain.  I’m not a really fast reader usually, so you know this must be a good one!

• I’m just loving my family and friends.  I don’t think we say it enough – express our appreciation for the people around us who fill our days, who are there for us, who put a smile on our faces.  Even if some of us don’t always see each other that often, I hope my family and friends know how important they are to me, and how much I value them in my life.

Happy Wednesday, guys :)

Best Foot Forward

I once read something on-line about how one should not use words such as “busy” or “exhausted” because they carry such a negative connotation.  Even if you ARE really busy, or  really tired, you should eliminate those words from you vocabulary to ensure you have a more positive headspace and a lighter attitude.  At the time, I couldn’t have agreed more – in fact, I still agree whole-heartedly.  Nothing drives me more insane than people whining about being tired or busy.  I always feel like saying, “Suck it up, buttercup!  Everyone’s busy and tired and the world keeps turning, so deal with it!”

And then, I became one of those annoying people.  I started throwing those words around left, right & centre.  At first, I didn’t even realize it, but lately, it’s become crystal-clear to me:  I have become one of those “busy, so tired” whiny people who I used to shake my head at.

I really haven’t been putting my best foot forward lately. I’ve been a bit of a Negative Nelly, if I’m being entirely honest.  I’ve had difficulty finding the positives.  I haven’t tried as hard to bring myself around to a happy frame of mind as I used to.

And really, for what reason?  It makes no sense.  There’s no plausible explanation for me to be in a rut, or to feel unhappy with my lot in life.  If anything, I should be giving thanks!   Life is good, really it is!

For the past few weeks, I’ve been forcing myself to try and be more conscious of what I’m saying, and how I’m outwardly portraying myself.  I don’t want to be this mopey, cranky girl that I’ve suddenly discovered I am.  I’ve definitely been putting forth an effort to drop the word “busy” from my vocab.  Because, quite frankly, who isn’t busy these days?  Everyone I talk to has a million things on their plates right now, and I’m actually not as busy as most of them.  I’m just single ol’ me, no kids, no man… I have more time & freedom than most of my family and friends!

I’ve been trying to breathe deeper & be more grateful.  Yoga helps, and I’ve resumed that practice, which was definitely a step in the right direction.  I hadn’t been doing much Yoga so far this year, and once I started again, I instantly became more self-aware of my bad feelings and habits, and the need to try and correct them.  My negative words, the way I clench my jaw, the heavy sighs, that lethargic feeling that deadens my limbs.  What for?  There’s no need for that!!

I’ve resumed evening walks whenever possible.  I hadn’t been doing that as much, and I’m now remembering how the fresh air, activity and time to think brings me to a better frame of mind.

I’m learning to be more accepting  of myself – less harsh in my judgments of who I am.  As we all know, I lost a pile of weight a few years ago, and after Christmas I discovered I had somehow gained quite a bit of it back.  I was sulky about it.  I’ve been mad at myself, and carrying it like a burden.  But over the past few weeks, I’ve come to a realization:  My weight has fluctuated within the same 5 lbs for the past 6 months.  When I try harder, I can drop a few pounds, but for the most part, I’ve stayed in the same 5-lb zone, and that is with working out daily but not eating as healthy as I used to.  So… maybe this is just where I’m supposed to be?  Maybe this is the natural weight my body should be at?  It frustrates me that I don’t fit in most of my clothes from last summer, but is it really so bad to be up a size, enjoying treats, working out, and just being OK here where I am?

Positive thoughts.  Looking forward with a smile in my heart.  Being excited for things that lie ahead, yet content and peaceful in the present.

It’s time to start putting my best foot forward again.

I am a lucky girl :)

Summer Movie Marathon

Everyone knows I’m a sucker for a good movie marathon.  I love to pick a theme and watch as many movies as possible that stem from it – Christmas movies, scary movies, old-school movies, Twilight.  You name it, I can “marathon” it.

A few weeks ago, I got the urge to have a Summer Movie Marathon.  I dragged every summer-related DVD off my shelf, posted a pic of them on Facebook, and asked for opinions from my friends – which flicks would make their cut?  (There were 18 of ‘em, I couldn’t watch them all!)

As it turned out, that very weekend was the perfect weekend for a Summer Movie Marathon.  I had come down with a bit of a cold – nothing major, but it did result in me completely losing my voice.  With Canada Day & Sarah’s bachelorette coming up the following week, I decided to lay low, rest up, get healthy, and get my voice back.

And watch a whack-load of movies.

I watched 2 on the Saturday evening, and another 4 on Sunday.  Here are the movies that made my Summer Movie Marathon cut:

Dirty Dancing

It was the overwhelming #1 choice when I canvassed my friends on Facebook.  And really, how could it not make the list?  Family vacation to a summer resort, sweaty grinding dance moves, forbidden love, great music, Patrick Swayze at his finest… As we all know, nobody puts baby in the corner! 

27 Dresses

OK, so…this one really isn’t all that summer related, except that summer is “wedding season” in my mind, and this ones definitely got a few weddings in it!  The beach wedding at the end is pure summer bliss.  Also, I adore James Marsden, and take any opportunity to watch this one, because he’s sooooo adorably sexy in it.  I’d give anything to dance on a bar with him singing “Benny & the Jets”…

Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead

I’m pretty sure I also selected this one for my Old School Movie Marathon, but really, I could watch this one once a month and it would never get old.  Mom heads off to Australia for the summer and leaves her five kids under the watch of a cranky old babysitter.  Not long after Mom’s departure, the old gal kicks the bucket.  Rather than cry out for help, the kids decide they can handle this on their own.  And a summer of hijinx ensues.  It’s a frigging classic, dudes.

Safe Haven

Set on the North Carolina coast, this Nicholas Sparks story that went to the big screen is filled with beautiful beach scenery, a thriller-slash-love-story-slash-twist-ending, and the ever-delectable Josh Duhamel.  If that dude isn’t the perfect summer romance, I don’t know who is!

Wedding Crashers

Again, more “wedding” than “summer” (can you guys tell I have weddings on the brain right now?!) – but like I said before, summer is wedding season.  And I think I must’ve seen this one for the first time on a hot summer’s day, because that’s what it makes me think of.  And it’s still really, really funny.  I have a soft spot for Vince Vaughn.

Magic Mike

Summer just isn’t summer with at least one viewing of Magic Mike.  I chose it also to prepare myself for XXL, which I hope to see very soon!  I know the acting sucks.  I know the storyline is stupid.  But the dancing… ohhh, the dancing.  Channing makes it all.worth.while.

And there we have it!  The ones that made the cut for my Summer Movie Marathon.  I admit there are more I’d still like to watch before the summer is out – including Weekend at Bernie’s (because…how can you not?), Major League (summer = ball season), Summer Catch (summer = ball season), and 50 First Dates (I love the Hawaiian vibe throughout one of my favourite Adam Sandler movies)… but I doubt I’ll have another chance to watch ‘em all at once, like I did that weekend.

So tell me… what movies say “SUMMER” to you?  What flicks have I missed?!

What I’ve been up to…

Well, hello there!

It’s been a while, eh?  I never intended to go on a bloggy break.  Didn’t plan on taking a hiatus.  But the past couple of months have been… busy.  I’ve tried to stay as organized and in control as possible, because when I’m organized and in control, I’m a more calm and sane person.  I’ve stayed on top of work, social activities, responsibilities, family time, friend time, keeping house & cutting grass, quiet time… the one thing that fell by the wayside, though, was writing. 

I let the blog slip.  And trust me when I say, I have missed it.  Writing is therapy to me, even when it’s about silly & mundane things, and I think it’s high time to finally get back to it.

Not that you’ve really missed all that much by me taking an extended break from blogging.  My life is rolling along, same-ol same-ol.  Nothing big or earth-shattering to share, and perhaps that’s why I let it go so easily.

But here are some of the things I’ve been up to.

Working.  It’s been a busy season thus far here at the turf farm.  In fact, maybe the busiest I’ve ever remembered it (at my desk, anyways).  That’s a good thing, because the days fly by quickly and it keeps me on my toes!

Enjoying the summer & all of its fun activities.  Summer is here, and I have to say, thus far, it’s been kind of perfect.  I shake my head at that girl back on May 8th who said she was kind of sad to let the winter hibernation days go.  The weather has been beautiful, and even though the summer is still young, it’s already been so jam-packed with fun.  I honestly don’t know if I’ll remember how to hibernate once winter rolls around again!

Planning & celebrating wedding activities with friends.  Two of my close friends are getting married – Sarah in August, and Sue in September.  I am Sarah’s maid of honour, so the past few months have been filled with planning & executing:  mixed party, shower, and bachelorette.  I had lists coming out the ying-yang.  Each event went off without a hitch, and we all had a blast!  Festivities for Sue are getting ready to commence now, with their mixed party coming up next weekend.  I also attended my cousin Kayla’s wedding at the end of May, and it was such an awesome day… it reminded me of how much I LOVE weddings!  I’m so excited for Sarah & Sue’s big days to get here :)

Pic from Sarah’s bachelorette on Saturday, courtesy of Stacy

Fundraising & celebrating Canada Day. The last time I posted, we hadn’t even had our Canada Day Committee Golf Tournament yet… It was held May 23, and then we spent the month of June gearing up for our little town’s big festivities.  We celebrated a day early, on June 30th, with a community BBQ, parade, flag raising ceremony, entertainment for the kids, fireworks, and partying to awesome music all night long in the hall.  Everyone knows Canada Day is one of my favourite days of the year, and this year did not disappoing!  I decided that this would be my last year on the Canada Day Committee, as I’ve been with them for over 10 years now and I have to say my last one on the Committee was awesome.

Hanging out & enjoying time with family.  I love family time, and I’ve been making time for that as often as possible.  My little nephew Noah is growing fast – already 3 months old, and such a cute little lug!  We’ve had some wonderful family gatherings over the past few months, both immediate and extended, and I cherish those days.  Any time spent with Caden, Danica, Neve & Noah is valuable and I treasure it!

Eating too much.  Yes.  It’s true.  I’ve been SO off track with the healthy eating thing that it’s not even funny.  Eating junk, and lots of it.  *sigh*  If there was ever motivation to be careful, you would think it would be two bridesmaids dresses… I’m unhappy with what I see in the mirror, cringing every time I realize something no longer fits, and dreading trying on those dresses that fit a few short months ago.  The good news is, I still have time to get this under control before the weddings.   I got rid of all the junk in my house the first of the week, and I’m going to my damndest to myself back on track now!

Reading.  I set a goal to read 20 books in 2015.  I set the same goal last year, and failed miserably (I got to only 14).  I’m determined to do it this year, and I’ve been flying through some good ones lately – I finished Me & Emma by Elizabeth Flock last week (easily one of the most traumatizing books I’ve ever read, with a twist ending that shocked me), and now I can’t put down The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty.  Seriously, this book is like crack.  Been a long time since I’ve enjoyed two books back-to-back like this!

Watching Seinfeld.  And Big Brother.  I’ve always declared myself a Friends fan, which meant that I believed I could not be a Seinfeld fan.  I thought you had to pick one or the other.  No room in the heart for both of them.  But I decided a year ago that I needed to give Seinfeld a shot, if for no other reason than to understand the Seinfeld references people throw around all the time.  I borrowed all the seasons from my brother-in-law, and ploughed through the first few seasons slowly… but now that I’m into Season 6, I’m finally on-board.  I have to watch a couple of episodes every evening now.  That is, when I’m not catching up on PVR’d episodes of Big Brother… Summer wouldn’t be complete without Big Brother!

Cutting an old bad habit of mine.  I’ve mentioned here before that one of my worst and most annoying habits is picking my lips.  I don’t know when exactly I started doing it, but I imagine probably around the time I quit sucking my thumb (age 7).  I’ve been a lip-picker for years, and when in stressful situations, I could damn near peel my bottom lip right off my face.  I saw a picture of myself recently where I could be seen in the background picking my lip.  I think it was the first time I’d ever actually seen what I look like when I’m doing it, and I wasn’t impressed.  Yuck. So for the past few weeks, I’ve been making a conscious effort to stop.  The first few days were tough.  I’d catch myself going for the lip.  It was just like an automatic reflex.  I’d tell myself to stop. Sit on my hands if I have to.  I’ve been slathering on lip balm all the time so that they don’t get dry and easily-pickable… and so far, it seems to be working.  Knock on wood, I may have kicked this habit to the curb once & for all!

I hate the pic, but it opened my eyes to how awful the lip-picking looks!

Wishing for a camera.  My digital camera died a few months ago, the camera on my phone sucks, and I’m missing out on so many fun occasions and not being able to photograph them.  Luckily, my sister-in-law is an amazing photographer, so I’m glad she’s around to capture moments for me!  I’ve asked for a new one for my birthday, so fingers crossed!

Oh there’s more… but as you can tell, I haven’t lost my long-winded rambley-ness…

Hopefully I’ll be back again. Hopefully not 2 months from now, either. ;)

This one was for you, Mom!!

Confession… It’s good for the soul!

Friday is here!  Hallelujah!!

But before the weekend fun can begin, we need to confess… It’s been a REALLY long time for me, I’m due!

I confess… that as much as I love the nicer weather & the fun that comes with it, there’s a very big part of me that longs for the quiet hibernation that winter has taken away with it.  I really am a bit of a hermit.

I confess… that losing McDreamy didn’t bother me as much as I would have.  Lots of people have dropped off from watching Grey’s over the years, as their favourite characters leave the show – George, Izzie, Christina, Sloan, now Derek.  But I’m still hanging in there.  The day Alex goes, though?  I’m OUT!

I confess… that I would give my right arm for a big bowl of ice cream.  With peanut butter, chocolate sauce, and honey.  Just the thoughts make me drool.

I confess… that the other major craving of my life right now is kind of a weird one, but it’s for a homemade cheeseburger and deep-fried crinkle-cut french fries.  My mom used to make that on that on the odd occasion when I was a kid – the deep fryer especially was a rare occurrence.  I don’t think she’s had that deep-fryer out in a million years.  It always smelled so good at the time, but when your house smells like deep-fryer for two days afterwards, not so much… Still, that’s the craving du jour!

I confess… that it is really hard to get myself back on track with healthy eating when I keep getting hit with these silly junk food cravings. urgh.

I confess… I couldn’t believe how big my nephew Noah had gotten over the past few weeks when I saw him on Wednesday.  Luke & Amanda kept telling us he was eating lots and getting chunky, but I didn’t really believe them.  He is SO cute :)

I confess… that I don’t even like to think about it, but it was a year ago tonight that I summer-saulted out of bed and thought I broke my neck.  I pray that history does NOT repeat itself.

I confess… that I really miss watching Sens hockey.  I got so caught up in it from February on, that it really does feel like a piece of me is missing now.  And no, watching other teams does not help.

I confess… that I let my feelings get hurt too easily.  The smallest thing that really means nothing can cause me to fuss and fume over it for way too long.  I really need to get me a thicker skin.

I confess… that even though I’m not a mom, I am still very much looking forward to Mother’s Day – I guess because I always enjoy time with family, and I look forward to toasting my wonderful Mom!  I am a lucky kid!

Wishing you all a Happy Friday, and to those of you out there who ARE Moms – enjoy your weekend!!  Happy Mother’s Day!!

Married at First Sight? No, Thanks!

I have a little problem with dating.  Just a teensy, tiny little problem.

The problem is that dating absolutely terrifies me. 

It’s a crippling, debilitating fear that has driven me to believe that I may very well be alone forever.  In my daydreams, I’m always in a comfortable relationship, and there is a man that is part of my life and my routine.  But the real-life process of getting there? It makes me so anxious that I could puke.  Or cry.  Or both.

Seriously.

My dating experiences have been few and far between, but every time, the same thing happens:  I have a guy in my sites, and I think he’s pretty great.  This could work, I tell myself.  I get excited.  But then, we actually have to go out.  And that’s when the panic sets in.  I never let it get too far before I turn into a total basketcase and shut the whole thing down.

I’m sorry.  It’s nothing you did wrong.  It’s totally me.  I’m a nut job.

True story.

A while back, my friend Brenda told me about this show she watched – I think she got caught up in an A&E marathon, actually – called Married At First Sight.  The premise of the show is that these four experts – a psychologist, a sexologist, a sociologist, and a spiritual advisor – do extensive research and interview people who are desperate to be married but haven’t had success finding their “soulmate”; then they match up six of these singles based on what they’ve learned about them and their potential to be suitable companions for one another. 

The catch, of course, is that these couples don’t even meet one another until they get to the alter.  dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnn!!  They get married on the spot, go on honeymoons, move in together, and then after six weeks, they have to decide if they want to stay married or get a divorce.

After watching the first season, Brenda thought I should sign up for this show.  She, along with most of my friends, know about my anxiety issues and how the thought of going on a date makes me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself alive.  So I believe her theory is that, if I could just skip that whole awkward getting-to-know-you dating period and jump right into the middle of a settled, done-deal relationship, it could work for me.

I’m here today to tell you… no.  Couldn’t do it.  No way, no how.

Season 2 of the series started a month or so ago, and I have been watching.  Honestly, just watching the show makes me want to throw up.  These folks still have to do the “getting-to-know-you” stuff, but with the added pressure of the fact that they are LEGALLY BINDED to one another.  They have committed to the six-week experiment and they can’t run.  They have to stick it out.  They have to make an effort.  They have to give it their best shot.

I think those experts would spend five minutes talking to me and say, Nope, this kid is NOT cut out for this experiment.

My natural instinct is to bolt when I am taken out of my comfort zone.  I have done it several times.  I’m a creature of habit, I like my routine, and I’m so used to being alone at this point in my life that I think throwing me into an arranged marriage would be a grade-A disaster.

People tell me I just haven’t met the right guy.  They tell me that once I meet the right guy, I will be OK with being taken out of my comfort zone.  They tell me I’ll be willing to shake up my routine to accommodate him.  They tell me I’ll actually want to give up things that I enjoy doing just to spend time with him.

I don’t know where that right guy is, but I doubt he’s waiting for me on a TV show.

That being said, watching me completely fall apart and possibly vomit all over my wedding dress probably would make for some entertaining TV.

Maybe I should sign up after all. ;)

So, tell me… have you watched this show?  Do you think you could do it?  Get “married at first sight”?  And if you ARE watching…do you think any of this season’s couples stand a chance?

What I’m Loving Wednesday!

Everything has just exploded with busy-ness – work, social life, community activities… Downtime for the next few months is going to come at a premium.  I get overwhelmed easily.  It totally helps to pause and take stock, be thankful, and list what I’m loving! 

So here we go…

• I’m loving sunshine and warmer temps.  I’m a fall and winter kind of girl, truly I am, but even I’m relieved to ditch the socks & shoes in favour of bare feet & flip flops.

• By extension, I kind of love that I got a little sunburn last weekend.  It was a glorious weekend, weather-wise, so I got in some reading on the back deck and a few long walks, sans sunscreen.  There’s just something about that first sting of summer… (but from now on… sunscreen.  yes.  that is something almost-32-year-olds need to worry about.)
• Just last weekend in general.  I loved it.  It was fabulous.  I had no big plans, but  I got to hang out a lot with Caden & Danica and have a movie night with them, I got my house cleaned, enjoyed dinner out at St. Hubert’s on Saturday, lots of time in the sun, long walks, a nap on a Sunday afternoon, and my first BBQ’d burger of the season… When Sunday evening rolled around, I literally just wanted to hit the rewind button and do it all over again.  It was so relaxing!
• While the busy social calendar does tend to make me panic a little, I’m loving that there’s so many good times with friends and family lined up for the summer months.  Canada Day Committee events, as well as several weddings & the related activities that come with them to celebrate!  It’s going to be so much fun!
• I have to admit, I’m loving the prospect of “going on sabbatical”. LOL!  Not a real sabbatical, of course – I still gotta work for a living - but I’ve declared that next year I’m going to relax and enjoy some free time, and re-invest myself in some of the hobbies that I’ve let slide over the years.  I’m stepping back from some of the things I’ve been involved with, for my own peace of mind… I’ve never been very good at handling stress, but it’s getting worse as I get older.  Next year, I want to read more, I want to start writing again (something other than blog posts), I want to pick up my scrapbooking again, I want to go for more walks, and just breathe more deeply. 2016 is still a long, long way off, but I’m loving the thoughts of it.  I’m going to take care of me.
• I LOVE this song!!   It’s my jam right now.

• I’m loving TV right now.  It’s sad that most of my favourite shows are wrapping up for the season, but TV has been so GOOD lately!  Grey’s, Criminal Minds, Battle Creek, Secrets & Lies… I’ve also really been into The Voice, Married at First Sight, Hockey Wives, and, of course, Survivor.  I haven’t even had time to watch a movie lately because free time on weekends is spent catching up on the PVR! haha!

• IT’S McHAPPY DAY!!!  Ok, so I have absolutely no intentions of eating at McD’s today (someone has fallen off the healthy-eating-wagon hard lately, and I have to get back on track… bridesmaids dresses to be worn, people!!!)… but just the thought of a Big Mac makes me happy :)  If anyone is near a McD’s today, have one for me – it’s for a great cause!!

• I’m loving the thoughts of getting some much-needed baby snuggles tonight with little Noah, and some play-time with Neve as well. Can’t wait to visit with them!
• I love Jimmy Fallon.  Of course. As usual.

Happy Wednesday, friends. :)

Random Tuesday Stuff

I’m going with a little random today to try and get myself back into the bloggy swing of things!

· It’s been a cold and miserable spring thus far in our area, but today, the sun is shining and the temperatures are finally supposed to be warming up. It would go a long way in bolstering my mood if I got to go for a non-windy, non-rainy, non-cold walk at noon today!

· Speaking of moods – I know I’ve talked way too much about being in a bad mood in 2015, but I have to say, Sunday was one of my worst days. I felt like I was shooting negative vibes out of me all day long, and what’s worse, there really wasn’t any good reason for it. All I kept thinking was, “This must literally be what it means to ‘wake up on the wrong side of the bed’.” That, and, “We’re going to lose tonight. This bad feeling must be an omen.”

· I’m a big believer in the power of positive thinking, so I tried REALLY hard to shove the bad mood out of the way, because I did NOT want my bad mood to be an omen for the Sens. I tried to let my niece Danica’s good mood rub off on me (she was so silly and giddy Sunday morning, which is rare for her!), I went for a walk, I had a nap, I made a fun supper for my mom and I. Yet still, couldn’t shake it.

· And then, the Sens lost. Of course.

· I’ve known for a long time that I don’t have a very thick skin, and that I can’t take the heat. Hence, I generally prefer to “stay out of the kitchen” when it comes to sports rivalries. I try not to tease and torment fans from other teams, because I don’t handle it very well when they dish it back. But in this era of social media, it’s hard to avoid, even if you’re not looking for it. Needless to say, I had a hard time not deleting a bunch of my Facebook friends over the past few weeks, including a few close friends and even some family members. Habs fans are total pains in the ass.

· I have a confession to make. Since starting down a “healthy path” in January 2013, there are two things that I had not had in over 2 years: a Big Mac, and a poutine. But the streak is over for both. I had my delicious Big Mac the week after Easter, and I had a drool-worth poutine this past Saturday. I’m not intending to treat myself with either of them on a regular basis again, but man, it was good to get a taste of them again!

  

· Someone’s probably going to shoot me for saying this, but… I really miss Christmas.

· I’m trying to learn the art of relaxation lately. Due to some recent renovations, I finally have a bathroom that I enjoy going into, and I’m finally re-discovering the joy of sinking into a tub of hot, bubbly water in the evening. I’ve also finally learned how to read in the bath. I know my friend Stacy is a big fan of reading in the tub, but I just didn’t get it… until now. I could sit there and read all night. Or until the water gets cold. And it does seem to calm me down and relax me considerably!

· Another thing I’m finally learning – to get up earlier in the morning to workout. This is a tough one for me. I love to sleep, and I’m not a morning person, so getting up 45 minutes earlier than normal could almost make me puke. But now that I’m back to work full-time, my free time in the evenings has become more sacred, and I dreaded having to devote part of them to my workout sched. I weighed the options, and finally decided that if I make the early mornings part of my routine, I will get used to it. Three weeks in, it is getting a little easier. I don’t quite want to murder my alarm clock anymore when it goes off at 5:45 AM. And I do so enjoy getting to go for a walk, eat supper, watch TV, and read in the tub. I think it’s been a worthwhile adjustment.

That’s all that she wrote for today! Hope you’re all having a great day, friends!!

Don’t believe us, just watch!

I am an Ottawa Senators fan.  I have been for 18 years now.  They are my team, and that will never change, I can guarantee you that.

But I have to admit that, since our beloved captain Alfie left this team as an Unrestricted Free Agent in the summer of 2013, I have been a bad Sens fan.  I have been a disenchanted, disgruntled, begrudging Sens fan.  And I hadn’t been paying a whole lot of attention to my team as the struggled and faltered through much of this current season.

My mom, on the other hand… she’s a good Sens fan.  A loyal, never-miss-a-game type of Sens fan.  And so it was that in early February, I was forced to move in with her due to on-going renovation issues at my place, and thus I was forced to watch hockey games.

At the time, the Sens were circling the drain, down near the bottom of the barrel in the NHL standings.  They had fired coach Paul MacLean, of whom I was a big fan, and to be honest, I was so disconnected from the team at that point that I didn’t even know who half of these young guys were on my team.  Chiasson?  Hoffman?  Stone?  Who the hell were these lads, and where did they come from?

Then, we ended up with a goalie crisis when BOTH of our top 2 netminders went down to injury, and they brought up this AHL goalie named Hammond.

I confess that I had written them off.  I had no hope.  It was going to be an early summer for this squad, and quite frankly, I didn’t care.

Even so, I was watching hockey again, because I was pretty much living with my mom, and, as I said, she never misses a game.

And wouldn’t you know… we kinda actually started winning games. 

Momentum started to build.  Dreams started being sparked.  The Legend of the Hamburglar was born, and with each win to his name, it grew legs.  This kid of ours, Mark Stone, was lighting it up, and his name started coming up as a possibility for the Calder Trophy, handed out every year to the Rookie of the Year.

Was it possible?  Could they actually make the playoffs?

With each win, the hope grew.  It grew, and blossomed. 

And against all odds, the Ottawa Senators culminated a magical, improbable run on Saturday afternoon, when they defeated the Philadelphia Flyers in their final game of the regular season, ending up with an amazing 23-4-4 record in their final 31 games.

They managed to crawl their way back after being 14 points out of the playoffs on February 10th.  NO team has ever mounted a comeback so big before.

It’s been epic.  The kind of thing hockey dreams are made of.

This morning, I woke up with that giddy feeling, the butterflies stirring in the pit of my stomach.  Tonight, we will take on the Montreal Canadiens in Round 1, Game 1. 

A week ago, I still wasn’t convinced that this would actually happen.  I wasn’t allowing myself to believe that I could actually be part of the playoff hype.

But now, it’s here.  We’re in.  I still can hardly believe it.

Last week around this time, a Habs fan that works in our office said to me, “The Sens are so hot… If they actually make it in, I don’t think anyone’s going to want to go up against them.”

Yesterday, they were given even more incentive, albeit in a very sad way, when Assistant Coach Mark Reeds lost his battle to cancer at age 55.  It was a tough day for the team, on the eve of the playoffs.  They’ve been playing for Reeds, and they’ve been playing for GM Bryan Murray, as he’s been battling Stage 4 Colon Cancer.

10 days before his death, Reeds addressed the team one last time, and his final message to them was to just keep winning.  “Let’s win it all,” he told them.

This morning, anything seems possible. 

No matter what happens, I can tell you this:  my love for this team has been refreshed and renewed.  They have managed to draw me back in and make me a believer once again.  It’s been nothing short of miraculous, and I couldn’t be more proud of these guys.

Now it’s time to take it one step further. 

The Stanley Cup does not seem impossible today.

Let’s win it all.

An exciting Easter weekend!

Good morning, friends!  I know it’s been a while, but I’m still here… still kickin’!

Here’s some good news:  I’m in a heck of a lot better mood these days than I have been for the past couple of months.  Some of the things I was anxious and stressing about have finally worked themselves out, for the most part.  Phewf!

The bad news:  I’m zonked today.  I’ve been trying to get myself into a new routine this week of waking up earlier to get my workout done before work, and I looooathe getting up earlier than I have to.  Plus, last night the Sens pulled off an AMAZING comeback win in OT over the Pittsburgh Penguins, and I was so psyched up afterwards that I couldn’t fall asleep.  Which makes for a mildly cranky Jill today.

But yeah… overall? Happier.  I’m a much happier kid these days.

I think this past Easter weekend played a huge role in boosting my spirits.  It was just so jam-packed with celebrations and good news!  Here’s a little taste of the awesomeness…

Good Friday:

This was the day we celebrated Sam’s 1st Birthday!!  I can’t believe a whole year has gone by since this little monkey has come into my life.   I remember they day he was born as if it was yesterday!  Sam is one of my favourite little dudes, and he always puts a smile on my face.  I had a great time at his party, enjoying yummy food, visiting with friends, and watching him do all the things little ones do on their first birthday:  open gifts, play with his cousins, smile for pictures, and smash his cake!  We love you, Sam!!

  Photo credits to Sam’s grandpa Eugene!

Saturday:

Saturday was a BIG day for our family!  My mom and I were up fairly early to hit the road, heading to Carp for a the bridal shower for cousin Leah.  Before we left, though, my sister called my mom to let her know that my brother had sent her a text to say that they were at the hospital and Baby Young was on his way.  To say we spent the morning on pins & needles waiting for news would be an understatement!  Of course, my phone wasn’t  charged, so once we got to the hall where the shower was being held, I had to find an outlet to plug it into.  Then I spent the rest of the time there sneaking off to check it for updates.  Shortly before we were ready to leave for home, THE text arrived to tell us that Baby Noah had arrived!!  Yay!!!

April 4, 2015 – Noah Brent Edward

(photo credit to Noah’s mommy!)

Easter Sunday:

Sunday was another big, busy, exciting day!  It started off with going to church, not only to celebrate Easter but also to celebrate the Confirmation of six young people into our charge.  I was a mentor for one of the Confirmands, and I was so proud of Sarah and the others who made this important step on their journey of faith.

After church, we went out for a delicious brunch, and then Mom, Kara & I headed to Gatineau for hospital visiting hours so that we could meet the newest member of our family.  Noah is soooo cute!!  He’s already got this auntie wrapped around his finger.  It was also wonderful to hear that his big sister Neve had visited the night before, and she is just in love with him.  They showed us pictures of her sitting and holding him, so proud and excited.  We are all over the moon!!

  More of Amanda’s awesome pics of Noah’s first day… so awesome to have a talented photographer in the family, right?!?!

After visiting Noah, we returned home for our Easter feast.  Because my sister and b-i-l had to work on Monday, I had volunteered to keep Danica and Caden for a sleepover.  After supper, we packed up and headed to my place for the night.

Easter Monday:

The kids had me up pretty early Monday morning, as we were all excited for our movie date that day.  We had lunch at Mom’s, then drove to Hull for a treat at McD’s (they had never had McFlurries before!! ) and on to the theatre to see Home.  We all really enjoyed the movie – I think we’ll all be quoting lines from it for a long time! - and of course the popcorn is always a highlight for me! haha!!

It was a spectacular weekend, to say the least.  How could I possibly stay in a bad mood after all of that?  Just thinking about it all this morning has erased my tired crankiness already. :)

Happy Wednesday, pals!!