I once read something on-line about how one should not use words such as “busy” or “exhausted” because they carry such a negative connotation. Even if you ARE really busy, or really tired, you should eliminate those words from you vocabulary to ensure you have a more positive headspace and a lighter attitude. At the time, I couldn’t have agreed more – in fact, I still agree whole-heartedly. Nothing drives me more insane than people whining about being tired or busy. I always feel like saying, “Suck it up, buttercup! Everyone’s busy and tired and the world keeps turning, so deal with it!”
And then, I became one of those annoying people. I started throwing those words around left, right & centre. At first, I didn’t even realize it, but lately, it’s become crystal-clear to me: I have become one of those “busy, so tired” whiny people who I used to shake my head at.
I really haven’t been putting my best foot forward lately. I’ve been a bit of a Negative Nelly, if I’m being entirely honest. I’ve had difficulty finding the positives. I haven’t tried as hard to bring myself around to a happy frame of mind as I used to.
And really, for what reason? It makes no sense. There’s no plausible explanation for me to be in a rut, or to feel unhappy with my lot in life. If anything, I should be giving thanks! Life is good, really it is!
For the past few weeks, I’ve been forcing myself to try and be more conscious of what I’m saying, and how I’m outwardly portraying myself. I don’t want to be this mopey, cranky girl that I’ve suddenly discovered I am. I’ve definitely been putting forth an effort to drop the word “busy” from my vocab. Because, quite frankly, who isn’t busy these days? Everyone I talk to has a million things on their plates right now, and I’m actually not as busy as most of them. I’m just single ol’ me, no kids, no man… I have more time & freedom than most of my family and friends!
I’ve been trying to breathe deeper & be more grateful. Yoga helps, and I’ve resumed that practice, which was definitely a step in the right direction. I hadn’t been doing much Yoga so far this year, and once I started again, I instantly became more self-aware of my bad feelings and habits, and the need to try and correct them. My negative words, the way I clench my jaw, the heavy sighs, that lethargic feeling that deadens my limbs. What for? There’s no need for that!!
I’ve resumed evening walks whenever possible. I hadn’t been doing that as much, and I’m now remembering how the fresh air, activity and time to think brings me to a better frame of mind.
I’m learning to be more accepting of myself – less harsh in my judgments of who I am. As we all know, I lost a pile of weight a few years ago, and after Christmas I discovered I had somehow gained quite a bit of it back. I was sulky about it. I’ve been mad at myself, and carrying it like a burden. But over the past few weeks, I’ve come to a realization: My weight has fluctuated within the same 5 lbs for the past 6 months. When I try harder, I can drop a few pounds, but for the most part, I’ve stayed in the same 5-lb zone, and that is with working out daily but not eating as healthy as I used to. So… maybe this is just where I’m supposed to be? Maybe this is the natural weight my body should be at? It frustrates me that I don’t fit in most of my clothes from last summer, but is it really so bad to be up a size, enjoying treats, working out, and just being OK here where I am?
Positive thoughts. Looking forward with a smile in my heart. Being excited for things that lie ahead, yet content and peaceful in the present.
It’s time to start putting my best foot forward again.
I am a lucky girl :)