Wednesday, August 31, 2016

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I've been plagued with headaches this week, and it's making me cranky.  I had one most of the day Saturday, got a break from it on Sunday & Monday (thank God), but then it started up again yesterday and has built into a hum-dinger today.  grrrr.  I HATE waking up feeling like my head is going to split open, and that's exactly how it has felt this morning.  Stupid sinusy issues.

But as we all know, when I'm cranky and disgruntled, I try to lift myself out of it.  Perfect timing for a "What I'm Loving Wednesday" post.  Today, I'm going to list what I love about the Shawville Fair!



First of all, I love that the Fair is this weekend.  I was dreading it the teensiest bit over the past few weeks because it generally marks the end of the summer, but now that it's almost here, I'm excited.  Bring on the FAIR! :)

I'll cut right to the chase and get to my absolute favourite part.  I love the Fair most of all for the FOOD.  There have been fairs in the past where I have tried to behave, and even given myself challenges like "I'm going to attempt to not eat ANY fair food this year".  But this is not one of those years.  I'm all in for the fair food this year. (detailed post about Fair delicacies coming tomorrow, probably).

I love the entertainment!  Nothing beats a beautiful late-summer evening, standing outside the beer tent, watching some pretty awesome live music.  Friday night is Kim Mitchell, Saturday night is Brett Kissel, and Sunday night is Gord Bamford.  I admit, I'm not up on Brett Kissel or Gord Bamford's music - which I guess means I'm most excited for Kim Mitchell (but I'm also not a huge fan of his either).  Still,  Fair acts rarely disappoint, and I've often discovered new favourites there in years past (hello, Chad Brownlee) - so I'm still looking forward to it.

I also love being an old lady at the Fair.  Yes, times have changed... I now spend less time on "the big white ride" (aka beer tent), and more time browsing the craft halls and exhibits.  I'm not sure when exactly that happened, but I now really enjoy checking to see who won ribbons for the best pie pastry, spotting the artwork of my friends' kids, and checking out who has the biggest pumpkin (Go, LINDSAY/RYAN/SAM, Go!)

I love that we still have "the spot".  Back in our teen years, my group of friends and I established "the spot", right between the beer tent and the 4H food booth, and it's where we go to find one another.  Of course, times have changed - most of them have kids now, and they spend more time in the midway that near the beer tent. Sometimes I drift through "the spot" and see nobody there.  But generally, in the evenings, there's still bound to be a few of us gathered there to listen to the music and have a few drinks.

As I said, most of my friends have kids now, and it's so much fun see how excited the next generation is about the Fair!  They can't wait for it!  Some of them enter artwork and projects in the craft hall, and I always love checking out to see if they won.  It's also a blast to see them waving and smiling from rides in the Midway.  Fair time was one of my favourite times of the year when I was a kid, and I love that the enthusiasm is still going strong with the kiddos.

And, well... really, I just love the people.  Seeing friends, old familiar faces, family members, just people-watching in general.  You're bound to run into someone you know and have a chat.  Oftentimes, it's a pleasant surprise, someone you weren't expecting to see. I love finding a spot and just standing back, watching and waiting.  It's like a high school reunion that we get to have each and every Labour Day weekend!

Last but not least, the best part about the Fair?  It's a long weekend.  An extra day.  I haven't been up to the Demolition Derby in a few years, I usually take the day just to putter around home and relax after the busy weekend, but who knows.  I might head up on Monday this year just to get one last Fair snack! ;)  We'll see!!

Well, my head is still pounding, but at least now I'm thinking about something else... C'moooon Fair Weekend!!!  One more day!!!

 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Hanging on to Summertime

Last Friday, I wrote about how I was feeling the end-of-summer blues... feeling low, in a funk, outta sorts.  By the end of that post, though, I declared that I was going to break myself out of that funk by turning my otherwise boring weekend into a celebration of summer.

And that I did.

No, nothing majorly exciting happened.  There were no big parties or heavy-duty summery things happening, but in the end, it was an almost perfect summer weekend.

If it's the last one I get, then I will be happy.

Friday after work, I got my grass cut (bleh, WON'T miss that summer job when it's over) - then after a quick shower, my mom picked me up and we went for ice cream.  We've had many trips for ice cream this summer, and it has been one of my very favourite things.  Having an ice cream parlour in town has been SO awesome.  Not so good for the waistline, but whatever.  Later on that evening, I had a friend join me to watch The Hip concert (again... third time watching it...) - she had missed seeing most of it the Saturday before, so she wanted to watch it.  Well, that might have just been an excuse to get together for a big chat... because that's what we did.  We talked & talked & talked, had some snacks and a few drinks (while Gord & the boys provided background noise lol.)

Saturday, I got up and went on a big long walk first thing, but then I had a lazy, nothing-to-do day on tap, so I declared it "Martian Day".  Yep, that's right.  "Martian Day".  I've been reading the book The Martian by Andy Weir, and I knew I was getting close to being finished.  I decided that was my only goal for the day:  to finish the book, and then watch the movie on Netflix that night.  So I sat out on my deck for most of the afternoon reading, soaking up the sun, and just enjoying a good ol' day on the deck.  It was hot and sunny and a perfect opportunity to take in some more summer before it's gone!  I thoroughly enjoyed it, although I do think I got a touch too much sun, because by late afternoon, I had a pounding headache.  I went in, popped some Advil, and hit the couch for a little siesta.  Thankfully, that did the trick, because I woke about an hour later feeling much better and ready to watch the movie!  I settled in with some snacks, and then enjoyed me some solid quality time with Matt Damon.  Mmmmm... Matt Damon.

You have no idea how much I enjoyed that good old fashioned movie night.  Since getting Netflix, I've mostly been watching TV series'.  I couldn't remember the last time I watched a movie in my own home.  It was delightful!

And clearly, it does NOT take much to please me. HA!

Sunday was another low-key day.  Church was closed because our minister was on holidays, so no rush to get up and go... I enjoyed a second coffee while watching episodes of The Office before getting ready to go for brunch with my mom.  We met up with Aunt Mona, Uncle Laurie, and Uncle Reid at the Norway Bay Golf Club, and had a great time chatting with them.  When I got home, I decided I was going to enjoy yet another lazy day on the couch, but the Summer Gods were smiling on me yet again when I got an invitation from my sister to join them at the pool at her in-laws.  They live just down the hill behind me, so I quickly changed into my bathing suit (I was so afraid bathing suits were done for the summer!) and made my way down there.  We swam and visited and just had a really nice afternoon.  The kids went back to school yesterday, so for them, it really was one last kick at the can for summer fun.  I think we all enjoyed it!

When I got home from swimming, my Internet was down, so I popped in a DVD (Knocked Up... I hadn't seen it in forever, and had an urge to watch it again)... about half-way through, I paused it and ran down to the chipstand to grab supper, then finished the movie while enjoying another of my favourite tastes of summer.  By early evening, Netflix was working again, so I finished off the day by watching more of The Office (I'm almost done! boo hoo!) before heading to bed. I had trouble sleeping, which didn't surprise me... I never sleep well on the night before the first day of school.

So yesterday, most of the kiddos around here were back to school.  I was actually surprised, though, because I didn't see any buses, or kids waiting on buses, yesterday morning.  It eased my back-to-school anxiety a bit.  Until I got to work and checked my Facebook, and saw eighty gazillion "1st day back to school" photos that my friends were sharing of their kids.

Ugh.  Puke.

Still.  If that was it for summer, it was a really good last weekend.  Not particularly exciting, but just kind of perfect anyways.  I had ice cream, I had some drinks, I got lots of sun, I sat on the deck, I finished a book, I watched a good movie, I had time at the pool, I ate at the chipstand... pretty much everything I wanted to do.

Oh, Summer.  You've been good to me. I'll miss you.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Breaking out of a Friday Funk

I don't know if it's actually possible to feel cantankerous on a Friday, but if it is, I think that's what I am.

And I'm not even sure why.  I think I've hit the end-of-summer blues. It always happens to me.  It's the time of year when I'm feeling excited for all things fall, yet not ready to let go of the fun the summer held.  Getting pumped up for the Fair, but knowing Fair time also means summer is over. The kids are going back to school, and that thought still makes me want to vomit, even though I have no kids, and have not been a kid myself in a very long time.

Probably doesn't help that the past few weekends were extra-fun, and this coming weekend looks like it will be relatively boring in comparison.  That, and I think I'm also still wallowing in post-Tragically Hip grief.  I can't believe it's already been over a week since we went to the show.  I'm still listening to my Hip playlist on repeat, still not wanting it to be over.

*sigh*

Regardless, this time of year is always a conundrum for me.  While I'm dying to bake pumpkin spice muffins and get lost in cozy, baggy sweaters, I also feel a tinge of sadness that it's time to put away the bathing suits, and that the evening trips for ice cream will be coming to an end.

It's been a good summer.  A really good summer.  Relaxing, fun, full of good times with family and friends.  Lots of time spent on the water, lots of sitting on the back deck drinking ice cold bevies and listening to tunes, lots of time in the pool and at the ball field and having BBQ's.

I miss it already, and I shouldn't.  It's still 30 flipping degrees out.  There's still lots of fun to squeeze out of it.  Summer isn't over yet.  I feel like I need to cling to it desperately.  I don't want this season of my life to pass by already.

So that's it! I'm making a conscious effort going into this weekend to enjoy it.  No, there are no parties planned, or big events happening.  But I'm going to make sure I sit on the deck and read and listen to those Hip tunes (again) and drink ice cold deck bevies.  I'm going to eat chipstand food and go for ice cream.  I'm going to get one more layer on my tan.

I'm not giving in.  I'm not ready for fall yet.

Long live SUMMER!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Project 366: Some of my favourites

Last year for my birthday, my family gifted me with a Nikon D3200 camera, which was my biggest birthday wish ever.  My digital camera had died months before, and I was ready to upgrade.  At the time, my mom warned me that this camera was an investment and that I'd better darn well use it!  (I suppose she's seen me "desperately want" something more than a few times in my life that ends up collecting dust in a corner... lol)

She needn't have worried... I've always loved taking pictures, documenting the good times from behind the camera lens.  But just to be sure, I decided to take up a photography challenge, called Project 365, in which you take your camera out every single day to snap something.  I started the challenge several days after receiving the camera, on August 3rd, 2015. Because last year was a Leap Year, my challenge actually turned into a Project 366.

I had a love-hate relationship with this challenge.  Some days, I felt like there was absolutely nothing to photograph.  Many days I took pictures of food, or mundane items in my home.  But some days?  Some days I amazed myself.  And I was glad that the challenge forced me to take the camera out and use it every day for a whole year, even if it was only for a few minutes.  It encouraged me to play with settings, to google more about my camera, and to learn more about photography than I've ever learned before.

Here are a few of my favourites...

 This was one of the very first days - Day 3 maybe?  I don't think I've ever intentionally got this close to a bee before... the camera already forcing me out of my comfort zone! ;)
 This pic really isn't anything special - it didn't turn out how I wanted at all - but it drew a lot of attention on Facebook.  It was my first attempt at night shooting (something I never really did figure out), so the comments on it were filled with suggestions and tips from my photographer friends, which I greatly appreciated.  Who needs photography classes when Facebook provides such a great wealth of knowledge?!
 My sweet little cousin Grace on the beach in Sand Point last summer
 Shawville Fair 2015
 I loved how cozy this photo turned out.  It was a rainy September day, I made pumpkin spice cupcakes, and made my first pumpkin spice latte of the season.  Yum.
 One of my favourite photos of my trip to Nova Scotia last fall.  That trip provided amazing scenery for me to practice!
 Have I mentioned before how much I love fall?  This pic was one of my fall favourites.  Pumpkins and squash and gourds, oh my!
 Looking back, I regret "tweaking" this picture as much as I did.  I used a colour booster in editing to bring out the vibrancy of the fall colours, but that in turn also really boosted the blue of the water.  Anyone who knows the Ottawa River knows it isn't even close to that blue... Still, a pretty picture, if I do say so myself.
 I snapped a lot of shots around my place of employment - Mountainview has some great scenery! - but this was my absolutely favourite.  A misty morning sunrise over the irrigation pivot in the field next to the office.
 One of the first families to trust me with their family photo session... I had such fun taking pics for several of my friends last fall for their Christmas cards, and it was amazing practice for me!  Family photo sessions became one of my favourite things to do with the camera. Abby, Gracie, and Leah were so much fun to take pictures of :)
 I loved taking pictures around Halloween... this one turned out better than I ever could have hoped.
 This was definitely one of my faves from the Remembrance Day Ceremony in Quyon last November
 Danica was also ready and willing - and oftentimes DEMANDING - to be the photo of the day.  She was actually pouting here (surprise, surprise), but I thought it was such a pretty snap of her
 "Dance like nobody's watching!" Pretty sure my friends got sick of my and my camera over the year, because I dragged it every where with me, but it usually resulted in some fun photos... like this one ;)
 Another fall family photo session, this time for Shannon, Casey & Rylie.  Rylie became one of my favourite "subjects" during the year.  So willing to smile for the camera!  What a cutie!
 I love the glow of the Christmas lights through my front door... I didn't know if I could capture it by camera, but it worked!
My nephew, the hockey player :)
 One of my favourite moments on Christmas Eve... Alle getting friendly with Kara lol!
 I took a lot of sunrise and sunset photos throughout the year... this sunrise on the 5th Concession in January sticks out as one of the nicest I captured.
 My friend Sara was the very first one to let me take her family photos for her last fall... and her kids were more of my favourite subjects!  I ended up with some great ones of Charlotte, Daniel & Hannah throughout the year, but this one from a visit to my place last winter was one of my very faves.
Happy 30th Birthday, Sue! 
 A fun photo from Maddy's 9th Birthday Party
 I sucked at taking pictures of the moon (trust me, I tried many times, and they just didn't work).  I had to edit the shit out of this one, but it drew some nice comments and likes on Facebook.  People seemed to enjoy it.
 A blessing if I ever did see one... Welcome Baby Isaac :)
 My friend Lindsay was another one who trusted me with taking pics of her family on several occasions,... including Sam's 2nd birthday!
 And my friend Sharon was another!  Her little guy Hayden was always so good to mug for the camera, especially at this book club meeting.  
My friend Stacy's kiddos, Maddy & Tanner, were also always willing to smile and pose... later on in the year, Tanner really got into the posing! haha! I used a blue enhancer on this photo, and I love how it turned out.
Ah yes.  The night I made Lindsay stop on the side of a busy highway so I could snap this shot.  It might have been crazy, but I'm glad I did.
 Caryl's daughter Leah never fails to do something amazing for the camera... lol!
 This might not be the best photo ever... it's blurry, and I was once again having trouble with night schooting... but I unintentionally capture my friends Sharon & Wayne in sync playing Texas Horseshoes at their 10th anniversary party... it was just perfect in my eyes!
 An MVT hoedown at Mickey Creek :)
 One day on my lunch hour, I went for a walk with my camera with the intention of taking a picture of a butterfly.  And it worked!!!  I had to crawl in a frigging ditch, but it worked!!!
 I snapped this photo of my cousin Patti and her grand-daughter Annabelle at Randy's 50th birthday party.  I love the way Nana is looking adoringly at her girl.  Pure love right there!
 My cousin's husband  Jory told me very early on in their Canada Day visit that he had a personal goal of making it in my Project 366.  I just had to make it happen for him. ;)
 A family gathering on Canada Day, a bunch of very hyper children, a very hung over feeling Jill... I was grateful to my sister for providing some "quiet time"... and it made for a cute pic, too!
 So glad we have an ice cream parlour in Quyon now!  It's been a highlight of the summer! YUM!
 Another photo of that church steeple... The sky on this night was stunning, and I was happy with the capture.
 The return of the Quyon Tractor & Truck Pull was one of my favourite days of the summer.  This is my cousin's husband Ellard during his awesome pull on Blue Bye U.  It was an awesome moment, and I so enjoyed taking pictures at this event!!
 Going to the Camp every summer has become a family tradition, and taking sunset pictures on the dock has become another tradition.  This year, I caught something a little different, and it became one of my very faves.  I was so proud of how this turned out.
 A quiet moment on the beach between my Aunt Marion & her grandson Dillon. I ADORE this one!
The very last photo... I had lost track of the days, and didn't even realize this was the last day of the challenge.  But somehow, this picture just seemed to fit perfectly. The past 366 days - and 366 photos - in that rear view mirror!!  Cheers to that!!

I was relieved when my Project 366 came to a close, but I have to admit, I kind of miss it some days.  Some days I go to grab the camera because I think I "have to", and then remind myself the challenge is over.  I'm contemplating starting another one on New Year's Day - do a complete calendar year this time.  My blog pal Nicole  made a suggestion at one point to pick a theme, or do all black & white photos, just to add a twist.  I kind of like that idea.  We shall see.

My Project 366 did exactly what I hoped it would - forced me to use my camera every day, taught me many things about it, and resulted in some pretty awesome shots that I'm proud of.  I am so grateful to my fam for the camera... I definitely think I've put it to good use, Mom! ;)

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Wednesday Hodgepodge: Living in the moment


1. It's National Waffle Day (August 24th)...what decision are you currently 'waffling over'? (or share one you've recently 'waffled over'?)
Oh, I'm a waffler.  Once I make a decision, I stick by it, but it can take me a long time to get there.  Weighing pros & cons, thinking it over and over, worrying about every little detail... Yeah, there's something I'm waffling over a lot these days, but I'll just keep that one to myself for now...

2. It's the middle of August, but I'm already seeing lots of autumn-related posts. Do you think we rush the seasons? If so, does that bother you? I saw (here) an end of summer bucket list that included-

make s'mores, read a new (or favorite) book in the park, eat something delicious and bad for you at a state fair, have a pot luck picnic, book a last minute sumemr getaway, relax by or in the pool, take a hike to watch the sunset, have a day on the lake, try a new summer recipe

Which activities on the list might you squeeze in before summer officially comes to a close?
Yes, we rush the seasons.  And while I'm all for fall, I also try really hard to live in the moment and enjoy today, so it does bother me that others rush it.  We've got a few good solid weeks of summer left, so let's enjoy them, shall we?

As for the list of activities, I will definitely be getting something delicious and bad for me at our local fair next weekend (probably more than one thing, truth be told), and if I could make it happen, I'd like to relax by or in a pool, or have a day at the lake... those activities, however, hinge on other people inviting me to their pool or lake, so... we'll see. ;)

3. Your favorite summertime 'art' found in nature?
Well, judging by the number of sunset photos I've taken this summer, I definitely think a beautiful summer sunset is my favourite "art" found in nature.  Just something about their beauty that catches my eye.  I'd like to have one blown up and framed to hang in my house.



4. Stephen R. Covey is quoted as saying, 'We judge ourselves by our intentions, and others by their actions.' Agree or no? Do you define yourself based on your intentions, your actions, or something else?
Hmmm...Interesting.  I suppose it's true.  Although I do think I judge myself pretty harshly on my actions as well as my intentions.  And I try not to judge others too harshly, no matter what.  I define myself based on a collection of both, I think.  I try to keep a level head, good intentions, and wise actions.  I don't like feeling disappointed in myself, so I try to make sure that doesn't happen.

5. Are you useful in a crisis? Elaborate.
Ha!  I can think of a few people who would say no.  I tend to panic, get flustered, melt down... but I'd like to think in a real crisis, I'd be able to handle it.  Stay calm, take smart action, and be brave.  However, if it involves puke or blood, I'm probably out. ;)

6. What's been your go-to dish this summer? Is it something you'll continue making as the seasons change?
I was trying to think of what it was, struggling to come up with an answer, when it hit me... nachos.  I have made nachos a lot this summer.  It's quick and easy and I usually just heat them up in the microwave.  It's been a hot summer, so anything that hasn't needed the stove is my go-to.

7. Adult coloring books are a thing now. Have you jumped on the bandwagon? If not is this something you think you might enjoy?
Yep, I've got an adult colouring book!  I got it for Christmas last year, and while I haven't used it as much as I thought I would, I have enjoyed the few times I've taken it out.  I imagine I'll use it more in the winter when the pace of life is slower and I have more time. I have always loved colouring!

8.  Insert your own random thought here.
Yesterday, I wrote my tribute to Gord Downie and The Hip, and I swore that would be the end of my dwelling on it, but I really can't stop thinking about how amazing those few days of celebration and sorrow were.  I keep thinking of things I forgot to write about; things I'd like to go back and add.  Like how cool it was after the show to discover that my main man, Jimmy Fallon, tweeted: "#thankyoutragicallyhip respect" ... or that Eddie Vedder made such a sweet shout out to Gordie at the Pearl Jam show in Chicago Saturday night... or that Blue Rodeo played "Bobcaygeon" and also sent well wishes to their fellow Canadian band performing the show of their lives that same night.  It's taking everything in my power not to write more; not to share more links on Facebook; not to order everything Tragically Hip related that I can find on the Internet; not to watch the concert again every night.  I guess I'm just not ready to let it all go yet...

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Courage (for Gord Downie)

I'm having a hard time with this one, folks.  I'm struggling to come up with the right words to express exactly how I've felt as a fan of The Tragically Hip this past week.

Bittersweet.  That seems to be the word that's getting tossed around the most.  And I think it may be the only word in the English language that even comes close to capturing the way Hip fans have felt during this Man Machine Poem tour; this roller coaster ride of emotions that our beloved and favourite Canadian band has taken us on this summer.

But that word bittersweet... it isn't really enough.  It doesn't say it all, not by a long shot.  It doesn't explain the complex tangle of magical and melancholy; it doesn't really give light to the highs and lows, the pain and the pleasure, the joy and the infinite sadness that have taken hold of a nation of music lovers.

This past week has been a celebration of a man's life.  It has been a sad farewell.  It has been all things in between.  And yet, still, I can't figure out how to tell you about it properly.

I know I've already written about a lot of this, but for purposes of this post, I guess I'll start at the beginning...

This past May, I - along with many across our great nation and beyond - was stunned and deeply sorry to hear the news that Gord Downie, 52-year-old frontman for the iconic Canadian rock band The Tragically Hip, had been diagnosed with Glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer for which there is no cure.  The band released a statement saying they were going to dig deep and go on tour, despite the diagnosis and tough road ahead for Gord.  While they've never said outright that it would be their last, everyone knew.  This would be it.  One last hurrah.  One last opportunity to see a national treasure live.  One last chance for Gord - our country's unofficial poet laureate, showman to the max - to strut his stuff for the fans who adore and revere him.

Tickets went on sale, and then disappeared in mere seconds.  All of the shows sold out in the blink of an eye.  Fans were upset.  I was one of them.  The Hip were the first band I became "obsessed" with; the first band I really fell in love with.  I bought all their CDs, they were my first concert, and it broke my heart that I wasn't going to get to see them one last time.

Then the CBC announced they would be broadcasting their last show from their hometown of Kingston, Ontario, live and uninterrupted.  I took solace in that.  At least I'd get to see them, even if it was just through a TV screen.

But fate had a special surprise in store for me.  Two weeks before the Ottawa show, my brother-in-law caught wind that more seats had been released for that August 18th concert.  He suggested I try, because what did I have to lose?  Sure enough, I was able to get 2 tickets.  They were rear view seats in the nosebleeds, but I didn't care.  I had tickets to The Hip's last show in Ottawa.  I thought my head was going to explode.  Seriously.

I will always hold the concert last Thursday in my heart as one of the most special days of my life.  I brought my friend Lindsay with me.  I was with her at her first Hip concert in Toronto years ago, and we also went to see them at Bluesfest a few summers back, so it only seemed fitting that we attend this last show together.  We left work early, had dinner at one of our favourite restaurants, and then made our way to the Canadian Tire Center.  The day had seemed to drag on painfully, but finally, the time had come.

Gord and the band stepped out on the stage a little past 8:30 to the wild roars of the crowd, and then they put on a show.  Man, what a show.  They started out in a tight grouping at center stage, a show of unity and brotherhood. I stood the moment they took the stage and did not sit down once.  I didn't take a bathroom break, a beer run... I didn't want to miss one second of that momentous occasion.  I didn't want to take my eyes off of him.

When they started with "Boots or Hearts", the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.  One of my faves, right off the bat.  Followed up with "Blow at High Dough", "Opiated", and "New Orleans is Sinking"... I could have gone home happy right there.  It was amazing.  Then they swung into a set of tunes from their new album, Man Machine Poem, and I was so thrilled I had bought that new album and immersed myself in it.  The music was familiar, and they played some of my favourite tracks, including "What Blue" and "Machine".

Then they had their first intermission, and I felt panicky.  Intermission already?  But we just got started.  This is going too fast... Way too fast...

I was already dreading the end, but trying to keep myself in the moment.  The night continued with blocks of songs from their biggest albums.  "Summer's Killing Us" seemed only appropriate. "Gus: The Polar Bear from Central Park", which had Gordie lumbering around the stage imitating a bear.  "It Can't Be Nashville Every Night." "Greasy Jungle."  "Nautical Disaster."

Then the tortured screams of "Grace Too".  I can't even begin to describe it.  The pain and the agony and the emotion that that man left on the stage...  it was an incredible moment.  A jarring moment.

It was the moment I realized this was all real.

I marveled at him, in his shiny flamboyant suits (we got green, silver, and gold), and his ridiculous hats with feathers that got bigger with each change.  He was dancing.  He was sweating like crazy.  He was working it for the crowd just like he always has.  Cracking little grins, putting on silly little performances, singing from his gut.  A true performer, right til the end.   He carried us through "Gift Shop" and "Springtime in Vienna", and then one of the most poignant moments of the night for me, "Ahead by a Century".

And disappointing you is getting me down... 

No disappointment here, man.  Not one little bit.

Gord gave us a little good-bye speech then.  A thank you to the city for being their home away from home, to the people for always welcoming them to Ottawa, for letting them play here so many times over the years. He joked about the small crowds in the early days, and how he had to work hard personally to get the ladies to come out. My wish then was that I'd taken more of those opportunities to see them. Suddenly, seeing them only 4 times didn't seem like enough.

They played two encores.  The first included the anthem "Courage (for Hugh McLennan)", and then my all-time favourite Hip song, the one I hoped above all hopes that they would play: "Wheat Kings".  The arena went almost dark, but for a few lights on the stage, and we held up our cell phones, turning it into a modern-era starry night sky.  It was pure magic.  It was my moment.

They closed out that encore with "At the Hundredth Meridian", and then we got another farewell speech... this one a little less jokey, a little more serious.  I fought back tears as he thanked us again, and told us to take care of one another.

When they returned to the stage one final time, they hit us with their classic "Bobcaygeon", and closed it out on a high note with "Poets".  We stood and cheered, even after the lights went up, and we hoped that Gord and the boys felt our love; our deep appreciation for giving us this one last time.  It couldn't have been any better.

But the end of that show wasn't the end.  We still had The Tragically Hip Day coming up on Saturday, with the live broadcast on CBC from the last show in Kingston.  I was torn during the week as to how to handle this day.  I knew it would be another emotional one.  Should I rally the troops and surround myself with emotional support?  Or sit in my dark living room and cry alone?  I ended up recruiting a few good friends to join me, and I was glad I did.  We sat on the deck late afternoon and enjoyed beverages, snacks, and of course, some classic Hip tunes to get us geared up.



Just before 8:30, we moved inside and huddled around the TV in my living room.  I was so happy then to have a few people with me.  They kept things light.  We joked about Johnny's hair being grey, and about the scarf around Gord's neck actually being socks (and indeed they were socks, "to keep the voice warm", as he explained at one point), and my desperately trying to show the girls how...er... large  Rob's "package" (said in a French accent) really is.

The band churned out hit after hit after hit, but while I had marveled at Gord's energy and vibrancy on Thursday night, on this night I was noticing other things.  He kept looking down - later, I realized, to read the teleprompter.  He was forgetting the words to his own iconic songs.  He was noticeably missing lines, and grimacing at his forgetfulness.  And physically, he was looking more frail and stooped. Nobody cared, but suddenly, the toll his illness has taken on him became startlingly clear to me.

This is a man who is dying.  It's not a sick, sad joke.  He was gutting it out, gritting his teeth and digging deep to give his fans, his band, and his entire country, one last moment.


I am ever so grateful to him for that.

On this night, he acknowledged the Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, in attendance.  He made a plea for our country to figure out the mess with the Indigenous people up North.  He again gave his thank you's, and his jokes.  He blew kisses and flashed the peace sign.  He mugged for the camera and danced and acted just like goofy ol' Gord.

He acted with pure and unabashed courage.

The precious moments were there too.  More so than ever.  He kissed his band mates on the lips.  He hugged them close and leaned on them.  At one time, he left the stage gripping Johnny's arm as if his life depended on him. When they came out for that unprecedented third encore, I thought, Dear God, please never let this end.  But it did.  It had to eventually. In the end, he stood arm in arm with his boys.  He saluted the crowd.  And he smiled.

It was a Canadian night like none other I have ever experienced before.  The coming together of a nation for a rock show, one that we shall hold deep in hearts forever.  They even paused the coverage of the Summer Olympics in Rio for this concert.  They let us watch it in its entirety, in viewing parties across the nation.  Our country stood still, held in this moment together, in a tribute to one man like nothing we have seen before.

I managed to keep it together for most of the show,  almost all 3 hours of it, but it was during "Scared" that my tears finally did fall.

Yes, Gord, you have made us scared.  I know you weren't prepared, but you had to.  And yes, you really had us going there for a minute or two.  You made us scared.  You did what you set out to do.

I've got to go, it's been a pleasure doing business with you...

The pleasure was ours, sir.

The pleasure was all ours.


To donate to the Gord Downie Fund at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto, please visit:  https://donate.sunnybrook.ca/braincancerresearch?gclid=Cj0KEQjw6O-9BRDjhYXH2bOb8Z4BEiQAWRduk4JcHsVtbtRGJ09IMHekWcGZ0Mj6RCzJebTcZVlAg_waAjNu8P8HAQ