And then, the frustration sets in…

I’ve had plenty to feel frustrated about over the past month or so, and I’ve grumbled about it steady for the past few weeks on the blog.

Before I go on with another angst-riddled post, I must confess that overall, I’m feeling much better these days.  Maybe it was partly the winter blues that were dragging me down.  I know that I worry and stress over things that are out of my control, which has definitely been another big part of it.  But over the past week, despite all of this, I’ve noticed my spirit is definitely lighter and I’m feeling much happier.

But there is still frustration.  And today, it’s over this stupid weight loss mission I’m on.

I’m nearing the end of my first round of the 21 Day Fix.  I’m on Day 17.  I’ve really been enjoying the workouts – this is definitely my new favourite program, and I’m already looking forward to starting the next round.  I’ve ordered my own copy, so that I will be able to put the nutrition side of things into action with the meal plan and container system they use.

That being said, aside from what I consider to be a few relatively small slip-ups, I’ve been eating pretty healthy regardless.  Last week I took part in another 7-Day Clean Eating Challenge, and only had one day where I faltered (at the Irish Tea on Saturday). I’ve been feeling more “on track” than I have since November.  I’ve been feeling really, really good.

So it frustrates me to NO END that I’m not seeing results.

21 Day Fix trainer Autumn Calabrese vows that you can lose up to 15 lbs. in 3 weeks doing this program.  I had hoped to lose at least 10.  My Lenten promise was to drop 15 lbs, and I figured if I got down 10 lbs during these three weeks, my goal of another 5 lbs before Easter would be easy-peasy.  In the past, if I took a serious notion to drop 10 or 20 lbs, I’ve always been able to achieve it.  Once I put my mind to it, it was as good as done.

This time, it’s not working.  It’s like I’m at a standstill.  The first week of the Fix, I lost 5 lbs, which I was thrilled about - but since then, I keep going up and down the same 2 or 3 lbs. daily.  I’m not even close to fitting into my “skinny” clothes yet, and I don’t know what else I have to do to make it happen.

I’m doing the 21 Day Fix workout every day.  I’m going for walks on my lunch break.  I’m drinking Shakeology without fail.  I’m eating a balanced, healthy diet.

The fact that the number on the scales either doesn’t change or actually goes up, and the fact that I’m not seeing much difference in the way my clothes are fitting… Well, it’s making me want to pull my hair out, quite frankly.

What am I doing wrong?  Why isn’t it working? What the hell else do I have to do?!

I’m trying to be patient, and I’m trying to stay positive, but at this rate, I’m not even going to be close to reaching my goal of losing 15 lbs. by Easter Sunday.  And my dreams of being that much closer to fitting into last summer’s wardrobe are fading by the minute.

Despite my down feelings, though, I’m not giving up hope.  I have signed up for a Spring Tune-Up Challenge which will run for 30 days starting the end of March, so hopefully that will keep me moving forward on the right path.  I might not get to my goal by Easter, but if I stick with it, I still have hopes that I can get back to my goal weight before summertime.

I hate that this battle is never over for me.  But it’s a battle I’m not willing to give up on just yet.

Onwards & upwards…