Summering, Covid-Style

It's been a while, friends!

I'm still here.  Still doing okay.  Still not loving this "new normal", but this is a big one that is wayyyy outta my control.  

I have good days, and I have bad days (as I suspect most of us do).  As things slowly started re-opening and life slowly started to return to some sense of "normal", I began to feel much better, mentally.  But then a few weeks ago my anxiety started ramping up again.  I went through a few days where it literally felt like someone was squeezing my insides in a vice, I was so tied up in knots.  I guess these are the waves I'm going to have to ride for a while yet, as there still really isn't any end in sight for pandemic times.

I got a huge boost one day recently when news of a promising vaccine advanced to Stage 3 trials. One of my most trusted sources of info, Dr. Abdu Sharkawy (he was the doctor CTV News referred to during the early days when I was off) shared the news on Facebook and called it "a light at the end of the tunnel".  I was so excited that day.  Of course, in the days following, every article I read warned that the vaccine is still far off, months away, maybe mid-2021 at best, and even then not everyone will be able to get it right away.  Especially not someone like me, as I fall in the "worried well" category.  So... yeah.  Back to feeling kinda glum.

On top of it all... it's kind of been a rough summer, non-covid related.  A friend of mine lost her mother very suddenly in early July, and then my aunt passed away a few weeks later.  It has left my heart feeling heavy and sad.  It really has been a difficult season all around.

But!  But!!  I promise I'm still doing my ever-lovin' best to have a good summer.  Truly, the lack of planned activities hasn't been terrible.  It has meant more time.  More time for pool days and going to the beach; an afternoon on the pontoon with Kerry, Jeff & Brodee; family BBQ's and spending time with my nieces and nephews; reading, crocheting, watching Netflix... 

Best of all was my family's return to my aunt & uncle's camp on the Ottawa River last week, while I was on holidays.  We didn't get to go last year because of the floods, so it was so nice to get back to our little piece of heaven, and this time with ALL of us there.  I will hold such fond memories of our time at the camp this year.  Watching Noah bob in the shallow water, dancing with the girls by the camp fire, making s'mores, reading on the beach, fun rides on Big Mabel, playing Mexican Trains in the evening, watching Chris and Noah "race" their trucks, my paddle boat ride with Caden, delicious meals and snacks, floating on a tube in the water, our "snake sighting"... so much more.  The camp is always a good time, but this year it seemed extra-special.  I am so grateful we had a "safe" place to go that was close to home, yet still felt like a holiday get-away.  It was nice to relax, take some deep breaths, unwind, and not worry so much for a few days.

I'm back to work this week and for the most part, feeling good.  I'm trying to live in the moment and not stress too much.  I can already feel that bubbling back up again, with back-to-school just a few weeks away.  I never handle back-to-school well, and now with this added Covid stress, I don't expect it's going to be a fun time.  No, I'm not going to school.  No, I don't have kids.  So why worry?  Well many of my loved ones DO have kids and are worried, and I am worrying on their behalf.  Add to that, we will likely have to "separate" again from my nieces and nephews, at least for a while until we see how it goes, and that does not make me happy...

But it's only early August.  It's still summer.  I'm going to try to enjoy these last few weeks of warmth and sunshine and soak it all up, because we don't know what the fall will hold.  Normally one of my favourite times of year, I am feeling little tingles of dread, just because of the unknown.

I hope you all are having a great summer and doing your best to have fun!!