Tuesday, August 19, 2014

A random Tuesday lesson.

  • Yesterday was my “fresh start”, as I re-committed to focusing on healthy eating choices while maintaining a workout schedule.  And I admit, I spent most of the day feeling pretty cranky about it all.  I had a glorious three weeks of eating junk, and so giving it all up again is hard.  In addition, I was extra-sulky because I could feel that my clothes were tight, and the number on the scale was alarming.  I let it all go for three weeks – THREE FRICKIN’ WEEKS – and it puts me THAT far behind?!  The human body is a sonofabitch, y’all.
  • I seriously contemplated chucking it all and resuming my old ways, permanently.  I mean, I liked having chips in my house again, and ice cream in my freezer, and making big cheesey macaroni casseroles, and eating banana cake, and going out to eat and enjoying appetizer, meal, AND dessert.  AND I damn well LOVED the two giant Reese Peanut Butter Cups I ate as my “last hurrah” on Sunday night.  I wasn’t really sure I was ready to let them all go…
  • But I didn’t like that pants were tight on me.  And I also didn’t like that when I did my workout last night, for the first time in over a year, my knees hurt and my shins ached.  The pounds were catching up to me, in a BIG way, and I knew I couldn’t let this binge-fest continue any longer.
  • Then, I sat down last night to start reading Cameron Diaz’s The Body Book.  Right there, on the back cover, it said something like, “Your body is amazing!”  And I was all like, “um, no, Cameron Diaz, my body is an asshole.  I’ve been working so hard for a year and a half to transform it, and it’s been great & all, but I fall of the wagon for just a few short weeks, and this is how my dumb body repays me?  It can’t just, like, hang tough for a bit?  Stave off the pounds for just a little while for me?  Where’s this supposedly amazing metabolism I’ve been building up and working on improving?  Why are SOME people able to eat whatever they hell they want and never work out and be skinny, while I eat whatever the hell I want and still work out every day and STILL gain 10+ lbs over a three week span?  WHERE IS THE FAIRNESS IN ALL THIS, CAMERON DIAZ???”
  • So, yeah.  My body is not amazing.  My body is an asshole.
  • But then, I managed to work up the gumption to actually open the book (even though the back cover had me seething mad) – and whaddya know, Cameron actually knows what she’s talking about.  As I sat reading the first few chapters, jotting notes in the margins and underlining parts that jumped out at me, I was saying to myself, “Yes…so true…I already know this… yes, Cameron, you’re right!  Thank you for reminding me!”
  • The root of it all for me comes down to this little lesson that Ms. Diaz preaches:  If you put crap into your body, you will feel like crap.  If you put good, glorious nutrition into your body, you will FEEL it.  You will have energy, you will feel lighter, and you will be happier. 
  • My body has been trying to get this across to me for a little while now, as the over-indulging continued and the pounds started creeping on.  I was getting crankier and heavier and sluggish.  My amazing body was saying, “Dude, whoa up.  Give me some good food and let’s get this show back on the road!”  I just didn’t want to listen.
  • So yeah, my body IS still a sonofabitch asshole.  But also kind of an amazing sonofabitch asshole, I guess. 
  • And that is random Tuesday lesson for today.


VandyJ said...

Not a bad lesson, but not a fun lesson either.

Nicole said...

OMG, I love you! To call your body a sonofabitch asshole is awesome! I feel the same way. I have 20 lbs I need to lose to get to prebaby weight and really a few more than that...

Nancy said...

Oh, Jillian, your posts are terrific, so honest, and yet with a sense of humour. My body is not an a-hole, but I am. I hate those pounds that are creeping back up. I got a couple of clean eating books, and discovered that when I was diabetic I ate really clean, and still don't need to change much. My problem is that I need to get off my butt and exercise more. Thank goodness my water aerobics will be back to twice a week in September. We can do this. Pull out a "before" picture and it will inspire you. I'll show you my driver's license sometime. Hang in there.