Tuesday, June 17, 2014


It’s accountability time.  Again. *sigh*

Guys, I’ve been slipping. Big time. A few weeks ago, I wrote one of my “I can do this!!” posts and vowed to be in a bikini – no matter what!! – on July 28th for my 31st birthday.

And since then, all I’ve done is eat. And eat, and eat, and eat.

My God, I love food. Especially really, really bad food.

And I love LOTS of it.

I’ve always said that I need to treat myself from time to time if I hope to keep myself on track, but the treats have been happening far too often. My willpower with food has slipped to practically non-existent.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Every Monday I swear it’s the beginning of getting myself back in the healthy-eating game. And I usually do pretty well from Monday to Thursday. But then Friday hits, and it’s all out the window again, no matter how great my intentions are. The weekends are one big mess of eating out, grabbing chip stand grub, ravenous snacking, and a constant losing battle with desserts and sweets.

Every Monday morning when I weigh myself, I’ve gained another pound or two. And those pounds are adding up far too quickly.

People keep telling me not to worry about it, they can’t even notice. But I notice. I feel the snugness in my pants and I could almost cry. I don’t feel good anymore, not on a regular basis like I had been. How can I let a whole year of hard work just slip away like this? I just can’t let it continue.

As we all know, I do well when faced with a challenge. And I do really well when I put in a plan into place.

So this is the start of THE SIX-WEEK PLAN.

On Friday evening, I hosted book club at my place, where I over-indulged majorly on the snacks I had prepared. (I intended to make them healthy, but somewhere along the way, that intention flew out the window.) At one point, as I sat feeling very stuffed on my couch, my friend Sharon mentioned the bikini project, and I laughed. “Yeah. Probably not gonna happen. I just love food too much!”

And that admission made me feel very, very blue. Not the fact that I was admitting that I probably wouldn’t be wearing a bikini on my birthday – I’ve never been 100% confident that I could get there and feel comfortable in it – but because I had realized it was pretty much too late to even try.

I was still thinking about it on Saturday – about how I didn’t have enough time to reach that goal anymore – when I looked it up to see how many weeks I had before my birthday.

And that’s when I discovered that Monday of this week marked exactly six weeks before the big 3-1.

I thought to myself, There’s still time. You may still not get there – you may never get there – but you still have time to at least make a valiant attempt. You just have to really bear down and give it your all for six weeks. Anyone can do ANYthing for six weeks, right??

I truly believe that. Anyone can do anything for six weeks.

So here’s the plan:

· To continue working out, as I have been, without fail. Keep up with the work-out schedule, especially focusing on cardio and abdominal exercises.

· To eat clean as much as possible, as well as eliminate sugar and artificial sweeteners from my diet. I’ve done this before. I completed a one-week clean eating challenge earlier this year, and I also went all of Lent without sugar and artificial sweeteners – I can do it again.

· No junk – nothing deep-fried at ALL. When eating out, go with salads. FORGET THE FRIES!!

· No more snacking – plan ahead for each day/week, and don’t allow myself to stray.

· If a “cheat” must happen – birthday parties, celebrations involving food - plan accordingly for it. Make sure the whole day doesn’t become a cheat. I can’t afford to lose a whole day at this point.

· Watch portions!! Measure, measure, measure!!

· Continue tracking everything – food, exercise, and water – on MyFitnessPal – and DON’T take the weekends off!

· Pack my own snacks – especially fruit – if I’m going somewhere that I think dessert will be a temptation.

· Keep drinking tons of water and getting 8 hours of sleep.

· Keep the fridge and cupboards stocked with healthy foods ONLY.

· Don’t let temptation twist my arm. Dig deep. Stay focused. COMMIT.

· Don’t eat out of boredom, stress, or to self-soothe. Find something else to do – go for a walk, read, write, clean… just keep busy.

· Water, tea, and one coffee a day – no pop, no diet pop, no booze.

· Avoid recipe blogs and stay off Pinterest.

· NO peanut butter and honey. NO chocolate mug cakes.

I already follow most of these “rules” on a regular basis. I’ve still never missed a work-out, I drink water like it’s going out of style, I get a good night’s sleep, I don’t drink… but the food. The food is killing me. And I can’t let that happen anymore.

THE SIX WEEK PLAN kicked off yesterday. I took my photos and measurements, I created a detailed food and exercise schedule to follow, and I committed.

Day 1 went very well. But “Day 1” always goes very well. It’s the weekend that will be the true test. I feel like if I can get through one weekend successfully, the rest will be a walk in the park.

At the end of the day, this isn’t so much about the bikini as it is about teaching myself all over again how to be a healthy and mindful eater.

I mean, how silly is this, you guys? I’ve done this before. I’VE DONE THIS!!! How absolutely ridiculous is it that I’ve let this slide so badly? How pathetic is it that I feel like I have to start all over again, like a little kid that’s forgotten how to ride a bike?

The truth is I always knew this was possible. It’s that little niggling fear that has always been there deep inside of me. I know I’m addicted to food, and I know the battle will never be over. I know that gluttonous girl still lives in there.

It’s time to beat her back down again.

Six weeks.

Anyone can do anything for six weeks.

Here we go.


Anonymous said...

We've been doing that T25 for almost 10 weeks now but in turn, that made me feel OK about eating like crazy on vacation last week. I don't think I have added any pounds back on but I feel bad about it. You're right: anyone can do anything for six weeks!

Stacie said...

I don't know if occasional overeaters can ever get what an addiction food can become, like how soothing eating can be. It is so tough to battle.

VandyJ said...

It really is about being mindful of what you put in your mouth. Snacking still kills me. I've been trying to get a drink of water when the snack bug hits. It's been going so-so so far.

Taren said...

Good luck Jill! I'm a personal trainer and I always find with my clients and myself that if there's not enough protein consumed, it's a lot harder to manage food cravings! Something to think about!
You can totally do this!!

Jo said...

O Jill I know exactly how you feel. It sucks when you now you are sabotaging yourself and yet you can't seem to stop yourself.
I also manage to 'be good' during the week but then it is weekend and I think, well I was so good I deserver a little bit of this and a little bit of that' and then, before you know it you have gone down a very steep hill.

I am rooting for you! You can do this!

HickChickBritt said...

Are you lifting? It is the craziest thing but since I started lifting heavy I have less of an appetite even through that time of the month! In fact I am having a hard time hitting my macros. So I am trying to just keep my percentages the same.

HickChickBritt said...

Are you lifting? It is the craziest thing but since I started lifting heavy I have less of an appetite even through that time of the month! In fact I am having a hard time hitting my macros. So I am trying to just keep my percentages the same.

Nicole said...

Sounds like you have a plan. That's the first step!! One of these days I want to do what you did last year (Turbofire was it?)